Do you live to please others or yourself...?

From a young age, many of us have been taught to study, do or even think like our parents or other people, in order to fit in and at the same time please them. But, in reality, this is not true, as we all think differently and want to do totally different things.

It's fine to be generous and please others on occasion, but this can become a problem if we see it as a necessity rather than a preference. When we do it just to seek approval or out of fear of not being liked, it starts to become an unhealthy cycle, disconnecting us from life and ourselves.

Personally, all my adolescence I wanted to fit in, to be approved by my friends or even my family. Most of the time I disagreed with their decisions, their wrong thinking, among many other things. I remember that every decision I made was not made for me, I thought more about those people around me than about me, where I was really the one affected, but I had their approval, then, that caused in me a bit of joy.

It is important to emphasize that it is difficult for you to refuse, since your thoughts are distorted thanks to those wrong demands and obligations formulated through expressions that include the term ``should'', that is, you always think that you should say yes, that it is okay to accept it or do it.

However, there are many situations that predispose to the search for the approval of others, which come from childhood. For example:

• Not being valued for who we are: As I mentioned at the beginning of this article, parents see in their children an extension of themselves, thus imposing their own desires on them, without respecting the child's genuine desires or thoughts.

• Receiving unconditional love: This happens when we meet our parents' expectations, when we do not, they deprive us of this love just because we do not meet certain standards.

• Not having a say: This refers to our parents or other people making decisions for us, so we need to explore and learn from life, our mistakes and decisions.

People who only live to please others leave aside their own personality, becoming characters they never wanted to be. They spend their days doing things they don't want to do and end up losing their own identity, their essence and their true desires.

However, it is something that can be avoided or overcome, therefore, I will leave here some recommendations that helped me in this process of self-love, letting go and equality:

• Learn to say no.

• Do something for yourself

• Search and analyze your fears

• If you feel it is not working, go to a specialist.

Remember that it is good to want to help others, to be generous and empathetic, but remember that you come first, so do not confront yourself, do not do something that you know perfectly well that would harm you. Take care of yourself, take care of your health!

I hope you liked this article and found it useful.

You are you first, not someone else!

Tell me, what did you think?