You’ve probably heard many times that someone stays in an unsatisfactory or bad relationship even though they have the ability to end that relationship. No matter how bad that relationship was, the person stays in spite of everything and hopes for better days. If you are deeply unhappy in your love affair, staying in it, and not sure if it’s an addiction to another person or a relationship that deserves your commitment and patience, try looking at these features of an addiction to another person or relationship:
Objective facts and rational judgment (as well as other people's opinions) tell you that this is a harmful relationship and that there are no signs of improvement, but you ignore it all and do not take any steps to end the relationship.
You give yourself rational reasons to stay even though those reasons have no valid explanation and are not a sufficient counterbalance to anything negative about the relationship.
When you think about breaking up, you feel fear, restlessness, horror so you avoid thinking and talking about it.
When you take some steps to end a relationship, you experience a condition such as an abstinence crisis (including physical pain) along with other symptoms, and the only solution is to re-establish the relationship.
When a relationship is truly broken (or just by fantasizing about it), you feel the loss, loneliness, and emptiness created by the breakup, but there is also a sense of liberation.
In the beginning when we fall in love, everything is ideal, we think we have found the perfect person. In the subconscious, we hope that this person will be able to meet all our needs and restore our integrity. We do not yet notice signs of addiction here. However, if after a long time this relationship no longer brings us satisfaction, fulfillment but harms us, and we do not break it in spite of everything, then it is an addiction to another person.
Here the survival alarm goes off, we enter the role of a child who is helpless and will not be able to survive when he separates from the person in question. We are not aware that we are no longer helpless children and that we have complete freedom to take off our shackles and leave.
We often know how to deceive ourselves without thinking about it, believing that tomorrow will be better, that our partner will change overnight. Sometimes people in such a relationship, in order to maintain that status quo, know how to overeat, let go, work, drink and the like. and thus the attention shifts to other objects like food or cigarettes, and the real problem remains masked. And of course, reasons are being sought to stay. But we need to put an end to everything and go for a better tomorrow.
Sometimes it may seem to us that we are going crazy from everything, but every crisis has its climax. After that, you start to be better, more confident in yourself every day, and you start exploring yourself. During this period, great support can be your friends, a person who has gone through a similar experience, different books, walks, writing reminders that are very important to bring you back to the reality and adulthood in which you find yourself. By releasing interdependence, you will begin to explore who you are, what you love, what things interest you, discover a new life, and after a while start a healthier relationship.
True realizations i must say... Sometimes the new life is the new you that survived on such relationship. Cheers!