I screamed in agony when I couldn't find my source of addiction for hours which seems like years to me. I jerked out of bed with cold sweats running through my body in the well ventilated room. I screamed out again and was held by the new familiar hand which held me in place in a consoling manner. I shook him off and stare into nothingness . It is too late, no one can help anymore because no matter what, my past came calling. Acquired from my thoughts.

There are thousands of reasons people get obsess of one thing or the other. We are all obsess about things we love deeply and want to keep private or sometimes things we want to show off but not without marking out our territory.

Many confuses love with obsession and couldn't help but go deeper till it gets tough to let go. Before I go deeply into today's article, let's see what obsession is about.

Obsession, in my own word, is the act of being preoccupied by single emotion or to dominate your thoughts on someone or something.

Just like the meaning states, I would like to explain the levels of obsession with the aid of Nigeria's educational levels.

Creche- Kindergarten level.

In this level, the obsessors obsession can still be tamed. This is still at the fresh starting level. Though their obsessions varies just like we are all different with different thoughts and beliefs. They are however, calm and can still be corrected. Just like noting your child's obsession to certain food or TV series or maybe talking to strangers or collecting things that doesn't belong to them. You can still stop them before they grow into it and help them become better.. this is not only applicable to children but adults also. They are some people who take quick notes at the changes in them and also those who takes time to note them, in regardless of how you note them, as long as you fall into this group and work on your obsessions, you'd be fine.

Nursery- primary level.

This is also term as the normal or abnormal obsessors. In this stage, the level of obsession is deep but not deep rooted. It can still be worked upon when they seek for help,though it is hard to get it out, it still possible to. I know of people who got obsess in their love life but came out good and worked on themselves to become better .Some in their sex life also came out of their addiction after several therapy and loves from family. Others who are addicted to drinking or smoking also can come out clean after much meeting and associating with peers who can help them out. I also know of a friend who drinks a lot, like he was addicted to drinking and clubbing, but since he got married or before he even did, his fiancee stopped him from his addiction, though it was hard but he came out good. There's also a movie I mentioned on my last post Abuse and Addiction, on Fifty shades about Christan Grey who was into BDSM, with the fact that he was already deep into it, he was still saved not immediately but gradually he did and found love.

Secondary- Tertiary level.

In this stage, the root obsessor obsession as gone too deep that it can't be uprooted and even when you cut and weed it out, it will still find a way to grow because the roots have gone deeper than our thoughts. People who fall in this group are not meant to say around people because they can get you hurt without even knowing or some may even find fun in it. People in at this level have lost their source of humanity. We might have come across them maybe in reality or in movies. Therapy most times won't work on them as they can act like they are okay so you'd leave them be , whereas they have something else in mind. They are many people out there in different countries, especially in some African countries who are so obsessed with making money. This set of people don't care what they do as long as they make the money. They are ready to kill or use anybody they see to make sure they achieve their goals. This set of people are sick in the head and don't care about loyalty or love.

There's a story of a lady I know who got obsessed in love with someone. She was once a good friend of mine but I had to stay off when I noticed her strange attitude. First I called her attention to it and tried... God knows I tried helping her but she was already far into it. Even after the guy almost killed her if not that I helped I escape, she still went back. I was mad at her when she called the guy to tell him where she was after pleading with me not to tell the guy where she was if ever he called me of which the guy did. I even denied knowing where she was even after the guy disclose where she was.. to me, I thought maybe the guy just guessed not until I found out that she was actually the one that called the guy. I know people who have also spoken to her from old to her age mates but still nothing seems to work. The guy have hurt her in many unsaid ways that it hurts me to see someone being treated like that. He had tried to shake her off but she won't budge so now the guy is just there not loving her but taking her money and body like he wants while her obsession keeps getting deep and deep everyday.

Where can obsessors be found?

Obsessors can be found in different places, at any time. Below are some of the places an obsessor can be found.

• Our homes

• School

• Work

• Markets

• Parties e.t.c

How can I help with my obsession?

There are many ways you can work with your obsessions. You just have to find the right way for you. What works for A might not work for B, but this are ways I think might help.

Family.

This are the most closer people to you, one can meet up with them and explain what you notice to them. It actually every dreams of parents to see their child coming to them to help them out with somethings. Some might even go out of their way to make excessive time just for you especially our mothers. They are ready to devote their time to you and get in help with so much love to help you with the battle.

Friends.

This are the second closer people we love to relate with. Some times your friends might be the best option because not everyone as understanding parents while some parents might not even have time to help their kids out because they need to work to provide for the family ' in their words '. And also some parents might be very strict therefore putting fears in their kids to approach them. Imagine you are obsessed with sex and you have strict parents?.. No it won't work, because they might ruin it and make you feel depress. But you can call your friends at anytime and tell her about your obsession and if you have the ' good friend ' they will surely find a way to help you overcome it.

Partners.

Your partner is also a closer person to you and you'll be able to interact freely with them especially if your love life is good. You can talk to them and watch as they'll be ready to back you up and help you conquer it.

How can help an obsessed person?

Fill them in with love for love fix's things and brings back an astray heart home . Also ,don't quit on them unless it has gotten out of hand. For the sake of your sanity, it'll be better you help them seek help and call on people mostly close to them on their deep rooted attitudes.

You can also make them see how bad their obsessions are and how it ruining them, but make sure you say it in a calm and nice way to avoid depression. Also do not leave them be after showing them how their obsessive behavior can ruin but also show them ways you think can work and help them take the step.

Do not ridicule them or throw their obsessions in their phase especially in their phase of letting go.

After being saved from the hands that should have loved and adored me, I became distance and hated why the person could have saved me. Though I was happy they didn't kill them but sentenced them to life imprisonment, so all I need to do was to help them out and take them to safe place where a new whip can slash into my aching skin and bless it with beautiful pleasure, then I can be at ease for my past wouldn't come calling anymore as I'll be living it. I just have to act good and very soon I'll be back to my obsession.

Thanks for reading and stay safe.

Photo source: Unsplash

Writer: Balikis

Date:24 January 2022