It's too late now to say sorry
"I'm sorry, you're no good at all."
"I fell out of love, hope you understand."
"Please just let me go if you really love me."
Those are the excuses of my ex-boyfriend when he desperately wants to break up with me. Imagine, hearing those words from the person you trusted and deeply in love with for almost 6 years said this infront of you. I can't explain how I felt remembering those heartbreaking moment. He even promised me that he will going to marry me after he gets a regular job, but I was just too confident that he will not going to find someone who's better than me. I supported his goals in life and accompanied him through thick and thin, but he just if ignored those efforts I've invested in our relationship.
I thought my love story ends with a happy ending but it wasn't. I beg for him to stay even if it wasn't enough to make him stay. I gave my all to him to the extent that nothing left for me. I was madly in love with a guy who neglected the girl who was with him when he was just nothing. I have no tears left to cry, it took me five months to completely heal and recover from the excruciating pain of being left. I was all alone now and I thought my life will be empty and incomplete without but I feel fine without you anymore. The chains was been broken and now I'm free. I am no longer afraid facing tomorrow without you because living alone without anyone who will only give you pain is the greatest feeling I've ever have. And now I found my worth, i deserve someone who will stay with me for a lifetime. And God will lead me to the man He created just for me.
Those are the words I wanted my ex-boyfriend to hear. He messaged me on facebook earlier this morning, and he said,
"How are you? It's been 2 years since we broke up, do you have any boyfriend now?"
I am so happy not because he chatted me, it's because I no longer feel any pain anymore. I just gave him a dull reply without awkwardness,
"I'm fine, No I haven't"
And so I asked him, why did he chatted me out of blue.
"What do you want?"
"I miss you so bad, my ex-girlfriend can't surpassed you and I want to say sorry for what I have done, and I really regret leaving you, please give me one more chance."
And I replied,
"It's too late now to say sorry"
"You have done enough, you wrecked my soul and broke my heart into pieces which I don't deserve, so please don't repeat it, after all just face the KARMA!"
I am no longer what they call "Marupok", because I have fear of pain and I'm afraid if it happens to me again it might change me into a different person who I never wanted to be. Everyone deserves second chances but please give it to someone who can't waste it. I already forgive him for everything he has done, but no one can erase the bad memories that I had in my mind. Time heals everything but for me God will not only give us healing yet He also give us satisfaction and blessings. I also realized that He let us to experience brokenness in order to fix our feet to the right path. Just remember when we are broken and weary there is a God who embraced and listen to us while we are weeping. He is not blind, and deaf to witness our pain. God is the one of put the bandage of ultimate healing in my heart and soul, and I am so grateful to it. It is the grace of God who turned me into the person I am now. Lastly, His love is enough for me because I am fully satisfied with His promise and Grace. And the right man, right time, right place is in my God's hands.
Thanks for reading this my friends! Hope you learned something from my story. Goodnight .
Lead image not mine, it's from unsplash.com
Begging someone to stay makes me think Is it really good to beg just to stay, however if you've love that person of course you'll saying that please stay, but how long hehe? A love is giving each other a space to think about what's the best things for both of you.