Why so cynical?

Suggestions and advice are good and acceptable. But prying into one's life and discouraging a person not to pursue his/her dreams is another story. Forcing your opinions and plans even though the person doesn't agree is much even worse. Each of us has different perspectives and interests. Your interests may not be appealing to another person. All you can do is respect each other's interests and plans for their life.

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This is a bit of a rant or might be an article full of rants if this goes on until the end but I just wanted to let this all out. If you are not in for another drama of mine here or you're tired already by always reading my articles that were mostly written rants, you're free to stop reading on this part and check out other writers' articles instead. But if you still like to go on reading until the end, then I greatly appreciate your effort and support. I don't want to bore anyone of you any longer, so I'll just start narrating what happened earlier.

I was given the very best gift on my birthday yesterday as my prayer got answered. Finally, I found a replacement for my position here. She already agreed and we already settled the date of her flight. I also told the Big Boss about it and she was quite delighted with the news but it was just for a while. Wondering why? Because a moment later, she starts commenting on my plans with my studies. She strongly disagrees with it and advised me a better move if she were me.

She told me that studying in this time of pandemic is a waste of time and money. Then she keeps on insisting that I should just continue working, save up a lot of money, then build a business for a more practical choice. That just surely comes from her perspective as a businesswoman, of course. If it's her field, but not for me. Besides, it's not good to force yourself to do something that you are interested in.

She keeps on blabbering and aimed to discourage me further. Like saying that my time had already passed and it's too late for me already to continue studying. I don't want to argue with her since she is my boss, so I just keep silent. But in my mind, I was thinking that it's never too late to learn. Also, how could I ever be late? Maybe, just delayed for sure but not late. I'm just 22 years old and still young. I'm not old and dying yet, so does it become late?

She also added that we are on a pandemic right now. Businesses and the economy were down, so if I graduate, just where would I find a job? That is what she asked me and I almost laugh hearing that. Again, I don't want to argue with her, so I still keep silent about the thoughts in my head. Like hello, her grandson is graduating also from college at the end of this school year, so where would he also find a job amidst this economic crisis and pandemic? As she said, this time wasn't the right time to study for it's still pandemic, and businesses were down. Students have nowhere to go when they graduate and she even added that our generation is hopeless. So why does she still support her grandchildren's studies in college?

She didn't even stop at that part. She even involved my motherhood in our conversation. She said that a good mother should only think about her child's future and not herself. I get what she means by that although she sounds like that I'm being selfish. Just when did I? All those years that I worked, it's all for my family and my child. I can only count the things that I bought for myself since then because I often think of them all the time.

In fact, even this schooling plan is for the sake of them. I want them to have a better life than what I can give them now. That's why I also want to invest in myself to grow more and learn more skills to find a better job. I don't want to be a personal assistant forever when I know that I can do more than that. It's not that I look down on this kind of job but I just wanted to let myself grow more and explore things that could bring a good life for me and my family.

I understand that she has taken a liking to me and got closed to me as a family. I also felt for her like that but I have my true family to consider, too. Aside from my schooling, I also want to be there close with them as my daughter grows up and my parents grow old. It's been a regret for me already to be far away from them and knowing that my Uncle and Grandfather had died without me there. I could have done something for them if I was there but since I'm far away, all I could help with was financial assistance when they got sick and died.

My parents are already old and have already reached their retirement age. They have also sicknesses that they are trying to hide from me, just because they don't want to burden me anymore for they saw how much help I already did. I don't mind about it, but you know, parents have their pride also. Even so, I don't want to wait for another one of them to fall sick and I can do nothing in helping to take care of them personally. That's also one of my reasons to go back home.

If the boss wants to persuade me on staying, what's the point of discouraging and shattering my dreams apart? It's my life, I should be the one in control and decide what path is suitable for me to take on. Whether I succeed or fail, what is it for her? My parents didn't even flinch at hearing my plans, so why is she so cynical about it?

Finally reached the end and had let out all the rants. Thanks for reading!

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