Greetings,

Happy Easter to everyone!

Though it is still pandemic, and lockdowns in selected areas are still implemented, in a week that is full of reminiscences, though which reminded us of the holiness of our God, the sufferings He had on the cross, and the promises He said to save us. I only hope that one week of devotions reminds us to reflect on our actions and repent for our sins. May it be a worthwhile week that lets us strengthen ourselves, spiritually.

Why Am I Writing This?

I tried so hard to forget my painful past but these days when Holy Weeks started, I am reminded of those memories. Then suddenly wonders about why those events had happened to me and I think I had finally realized why. I just wanted to share those certain circumstances which happened in the past and how God save me from my mistakes.

Every Wrong Man and Every Broken Phone

I realized that with each of those ex-boyfriends that I had, my phone broke which makes our communication harder, then, later on, have a misunderstanding until it ended in a breakup. This event repeated with all of my ex-boyfriends. However, my relationship with them isn't good and probably I can label it as "toxic".

The first one is one-sided on my part. The second one is a fool's play for my innocence. The third one is a huge mistake that leads to a huge responsibility. The fourth one is full misunderstandings.

My Up-front Ignorance

" Your ignorance can be the death of you."

Since I was rebellious to my religion at that time, I couldn't care what are those circumstances. I have been suffering from depression which changes a lot of my perspectives. I used to force myself to change my spiritual beliefs. From the goodness of Christianity, it becomes the mystery of Deism.

After I gave birth to my firstborn and restart a new life, that's when I go back to Christianity. The depression that shrouded my mind with confusion and rebellion, little by little, without me knowing, disappears. That's when I had realized that those broken phones are a sign from God for me to know that the relationship I am having is no good or they are not the right man for me but I just had ignored them.

Unraveling The Sign

Those signs are indeed a warning. I had ignored them and continue with my relationships. After all, it doesn't end well. If I had just known it early, I should have broken up with them immediately. Then, it wouldn't have become my worst tragedy. Everything that happens is all in the past now. I could not change it. It is as it is. But, I still use to think that everything happens for a reason.

If my phone didn't get broken, I still would have continued loving a person who doesn't love me back. If my phone didn't get broken, I still would be fooled and taken advantage of my weaknesses. If my phone didn't get broken, I still would have to carry a huge responsibility with an irresponsible partner. If my phone didn't get broken, I still would have to continue arguing with my partner every day on nonsensical things.

The Guidance Continues

After all of those unfortunate events, I landed as a Personal Assistant of a CEO here in Manila. At first, I dislike the job and planned to go home after 6 months or a year of staying here.

Unfortunately, the surge of COVID-19 infections had spread all over the world which brings us to a huge crisis. Most of the establishments are closed and more people lost their jobs. Thankfully, in my situation, my job is indoors at the CEO's villa so I am not required to go out. I just stay at my boss' side whenever there is a job. Luckily, I still have a job and a salary so even if my family are quarantined at home and can't do anything else, we managed to survive.

My Final Thoughts

I feel that God leads me here so I wouldn't have suffered more. Even though I didn't like the job at first and have felt reluctant to accept the offer, I am very thankful and happy that I am here now. If I am not here today, I and my family will also suffer and starve like what other people are suffering now.

"God works in mysterious ways."

Words that I can only hear the church, preachers, acquaintances, and on the TV which I ignored in the past. Now, it all makes sense! All of this is thanks to God who never gives up on me even in my darkest moments.

Glory to God in the highest!

God bless and be safe during this pandemic, everyone!