Last night is my worst night...

Last night I was sitting with my family. Everyone was talking with each other. It was 10 o' clock while we were talking. My father had gone to Lahore because a relative had died there. She was in ventilator and doctors said, anytime she died. So yesterday, a call came to my father's mobile , then this sadness news we heard.

"Let's all go to sleep now " my mother said.

Everyone went to their rooms. I also went to sleep my room because I also felt like I was falling asleep. I turned off the light in my room and lying on the bed. I was trying to sleep but I couldn't sleep. I started using mobile. I was just scrolling Facebook and noise.cash.

I used my mobile till about 11:30 but then I put my mobile on side table. My eyes were full of asleep but I couldn't sleep. Many thoughts began to come to my mind. The first thought that came to my mind was what would be the first reaction of my family if I died.

I'm such sinful servant, will I be forgiven?

One or two days, People will remember me but then I will be alone. Because the world does not stop at the death of anyone. There is a mother who always remember her children.

What will happen to me in grave?

How much darkness I faced in grave?

At 2am in the morning, I saw myself dying to see in my thoughts. That how much pain I could suffer.

Ever wondered if I could die in an accident?

I could die an heart attack?

Then, how much pain I can bear?

No, I can't even guess.

My Prophet Hazrat Muhammad (SAW) always remember his Umaat. I'm the lucky that I'm muslim and I'm the Umaati of Hazrat Muhammad (SAW). This is the only support I have. And yes This is the big support for all Muslims. I was too much scared to thoughts of my deadness. I started to panic in my room. I hurried out of my room without wearing my shoes and sat on the lawn.

It was about 4am when I feel the hand of someone on my shoulder. I was suddenly scared. But when I see behind, she was my mother. She said to me:

What are you doing here at this time?

What happened to you? Is everything is okay?

I just said to my mom yeah everything is alright. Actually she sad to see me in lawn at 4am. And then I go back to my room. After that when I heard tha Azaan of Fajar. I offer pray.Thinking this, I made a promise to myself that I will go to sleep after reciting Surah e Mulk every night. Because it will be my support in the grave.

And then I try to sleeping and at last I fell asleep.

I can't write my words, my thoughts here that What I was feeling at night.

I just say that forgive those who do evil to us. If we have the courage to forgive them today , God will forgive our mistakes tomorrow. Respect to others guys, if we respect to others who deserve, then God gives respect to us. Offer prayer and recite quran, these will help us in grave.

When I see my mom, she's pray tahajud almost all night, she offer Hajj at her young age. She offer all the prayers. She recite quran everyday. Thank God, I'm the son of her. I'm lucky that my mom alive and I feel relax when I see her. God bless our parents.

My father also do prayer five times a day. When I go back to few years, I see that my father didn't offer prayer. But now I see my father , he's offer namaz. When I see my sister, she's just in 10th class and she offer prayer five times a day.

But I offer 3 or 4 nmaz in a day. And my sister told me that hurry up , take ablution and offer prayers. When I See my this family, I thankful to my God. MashaAllah.

insha'Allah I also start offer prayer five times a day.

I hope you like my words, it's my 100% natural feelings.

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Have a blessed day guys...

Peace.....