A popular hypothetical question for anyone- If you have a time machine, would you go back to change something in the past or go into the future? If I had a time machine, I say I would go back. The past has taken so much from me, and that is what I want to change.
I was a jolly kid back then. Some teacher would even go into our class and tell me in front of everyone to be quiet because they have heard me laugh from the first floor, or from the faculty or from the end of the hall. It was quite embarrassing, but I kind of got used to it, and so were my classmates. Because I have been with this group of people since the 1st grade, we were like brothers and sisters, best of friends and the best of enemies.
It was a fine day at school. I was 11 then, and the day was very humid. At lunchtime, I could not consume my meals because I was coughing nonstop. I tried to drink my cough medicine and water, but it had only worsen the situation. Because the coughing was constant, I have caught my classmate's attention now.
That was when my best friend arrived from her lunch break from home, and they told her what is happening to me. She sat beside me, touched my back for support and asked me if I was okay. Gasping for air while clutching my chest, my trembling hand touched her arm, I told her not looking into her eyes that I cannot breathe.
She suddenly panicked, and it was just in time when our class advisor had arrived. She told her about my situation. She too panicked and told my best friend to take me to the nearest clinic just across the school. So hurriedly, she took me outside of school premises, while supporting me and led me to that clinic.
Arriving at a doctor's clinic, they immediately nebulized me. It was my first time on a nebulizer, the noise and the smoke was very uncomfortable, but it was therapeutic at the same time. My best friend sat across me, she was just looking at me. I was taking glances at her, and I could tell that she was very terrified.
After the nebulization, I felt better. My teacher paid for the bills. We were walking back to school and she held my hand so tightly, squeezing it. She was indeed scared. She was my best friend since first grade and we have been seat mates except the fourth and sixth grade. We shared so much happiness and secrets. Some of my classmates tried to befriend her, well,she is friends with everyone also, but none can replace me as her best friend.
There we no cellular phones at that time yet, only telephones exist and we had none so there was no way to contact my parents. My father is a tricycle driver, and it is only of luck that he would pass at the school only if he had a passenger going this direction. My mother was back at her college to finish her degree. So I told my teacher that my mom is in college and my best friend went into the principal's office to do the phone call.
They've contacted the college, but my mother didn't come to pick me up. The school was over, and my father was already there waiting for me. My best friend was with me, and she was the one who broke out the news. My father was shocked, and then thank my best friend for taking care of me. My father even gave her a free ride home which was only two blocks away.
My mother came home that night, and my father told her. She was so worried and shocked as well, and she cried. She said she haven't received the message, because I think the one who got the call didn't even cared.
The next day, my parents decided to have me checked by a pediatrician. I took a day's leave at school. At the clinic, it was a long wait. They've performed different diagnostic tests on me, including a chest x-ray. The results would be available the next day.
I was back at being jolly again at school. My best friend was very happy I was okay. My classmates kept asking me what happened, some of them concerned, some are just on for the gossip.
After school, I saw my father's tricycle and my mother was there too. I remember she had to go back to the clinic for the results. As I was about to climb up, I saw my mother was crying. I stopped. I was then scared. I was scared because this has something to do with the results, and this scenario tells me it is not a good one.
The doctor have said, I need to be admitted. Asthma, also water in the lungs was what my mother said. I cried upon hearing it. I don't want to go to the hospital. I don't like to be admitted. I want to go to school, I want to be with my friends and my best friend. But none of my tears could change their decision.
I ended up being admitted at a private hospital. It was a horrible experience. The food never tasted good, the hospital smell was suffocating, the iv cannula on my hand gives me limited actions, and the day seemed to end so slow.
My pediatrician performed thoracentesis on me wherein he used a very long needle and inserted it on my lungs to remove the water. I think I've heard him said he never got any water, but my parents still paid for the cost of the procedure. I know my parents felt worst knowing how much the bills have cost. I swore I'll never go back again in a hospital.
I went back to school again after that. My parents thought that my teacher have dropped me out already, since I have been admitted for more than two weeks, and stayed at home to recuperate some more as I was still on medication, so they never sent me back to school. I thought of death that time. I'd rather die than suffer something like this, my life had stopped all of a sudden.
One day, an unexpected visitor came, my teacher. She knew our house, and turns out that my grandparents and my teacher were acquaintances and have known my surname since the very beginning, but never told me.
She talked to my parents of why I was not still back at school. She told them of how much my classmates miss me. She then handed me an envelope. I opened it and found some letters and notes from my classmates. All of them were missing me, and some even asking for apologies for the past misunderstandings. I found my best friend's letter and I was so touched that I cried. My teacher said that whenever I am ready, she will be more than willing to accept me back and catch up with the lessons, and advised my parents to not let me stop my education just because of my situation.
Seeing my willingness to go back to school, my parents decided that it is time to continue my schooling. I was so happy to see my friends, especially my best friend. My friends had told me how my best friend would be sometimes quiet and lost and distracted. But she was happy that I am now okay.
I successfully graduated grade school. Though I seemed to rack my brain ever since that incident and didn't got any award, my parents were happy that I have made it.
It wasn't my last time going back to the hospital. In high school, my asthma worsened and I was on leave for a week due to admission. My lungs have collapsed and it was irreversible. I will have to bear with it until I grow old.
I managed to graduate college, but I was very sickly. The stress of academics, also the ojts were very draining. But it all paid off. I made my parents proud by making them come up to the graduation stage twice. And my mom giving the graduates the inspirational message.
I applied for a job after the board exam results came out. But everytime I do, after a month or two, I become sick again. I had frail lungs as what the doctor said. A little exposure to smoke or stress could worsen my condition. That is why my father decided to let me stop working or expect for the worse. I could only engage myself on work from home set up.
So now, if I ever had that time machine, I would not let myself get sick in the past. It made a really big impact on my future. Though I do not let these circumstances stop me from achieving some goals in my life.
But time machines do not exist. All I can do now is move forward, and focus on my goal in life. For myself. For my family.
I am taking care of myself because I have two little kids. It is tiring but very rewarding.
Now, I am working online as part timer. I also engage myself in joining paid websites, like noise and read. I am so thankful of this platform because I can earn free bch. Also I hold coins, maybe in the future I could have some luck with this, who knows.
Thanks for reading!
All is well.
Never give up.
Focus on your goals.