Where is the Time Machine?
A popular hypothetical question for anyone- If you have a time machine, would you go back to change something in the past or go into the future? If I had a time machine, I say I would go back. The past has taken so much from me, and that is what I want to change.
I was a jolly kid back then. Some teacher would even go into our class and tell me in front of everyone to be quiet because they have heard me laugh from the first floor, or from the faculty or from the end of the hall. It was quite embarrassing, but I kind of got used to it, and so were my classmates. Because I have been with this group of people since the 1st grade, we were like brothers and sisters, best of friends and the best of enemies.
It was a fine day at school. I was 11 then, and the day was very humid. At lunchtime, I could not consume my meals because I was coughing nonstop. I tried to drink my cough medicine and water, but it had only worsen the situation. Because the coughing was constant, I have caught my classmate's attention now.
That was when my best friend arrived from her lunch break from home, and they told her what is happening to me. She sat beside me, touched my back for support and asked me if I was okay. Gasping for air while clutching my chest, my trembling hand touched her arm, I told her not looking into her eyes that I cannot breathe.
She suddenly panicked, and it was just in time when our class advisor had arrived. She told her about my situation. She too panicked and told my best friend to take me to the nearest clinic just across the school. So hurriedly, she took me outside of school premises, while supporting me and led me to that clinic.
Arriving at a doctor's clinic, they immediately nebulized me. It was my first time on a nebulizer, the noise and the smoke was very uncomfortable, but it was therapeutic at the same time. My best friend sat across me, she was just looking at me. I was taking glances at her, and I could tell that she was very terrified.
After the nebulization, I felt better. My teacher paid for the bills. We were walking back to school and she held my hand so tightly, squeezing it. She was indeed scared. She was my best friend since first grade and we have been seat mates except the fourth and sixth grade. We shared so much happiness and secrets. Some of my classmates tried to befriend her, well,she is friends with everyone also, but none can replace me as her best friend.
There we no cellular phones at that time yet, only telephones exist and we had none so there was no way to contact my parents. My father is a tricycle driver, and it is only of luck that he would pass at the school only if he had a passenger going this direction. My mother was back at her college to finish her degree. So I told my teacher that my mom is in college and my best friend went into the principal's office to do the phone call.
They've contacted the college, but my mother didn't come to pick me up. The school was over, and my father was already there waiting for me. My best friend was with me, and she was the one who broke out the news. My father was shocked, and then thank my best friend for taking care of me. My father even gave her a free ride home which was only two blocks away.
My mother came home that night, and my father told her. She was so worried and shocked as well, and she cried. She said she haven't received the message, because I think the one who got the call didn't even cared.
The next day, my parents decided to have me checked by a pediatrician. I took a day's leave at school. At the clinic, it was a long wait. They've performed different diagnostic tests on me, including a chest x-ray. The results would be available the next day.
I was back at being jolly again at school. My best friend was very happy I was okay. My classmates kept asking me what happened, some of them concerned, some are just on for the gossip.
After school, I saw my father's tricycle and my mother was there too. I remember she had to go back to the clinic for the results. As I was about to climb up, I saw my mother was crying. I stopped. I was then scared. I was scared because this has something to do with the results, and this scenario tells me it is not a good one.
The doctor have said, I need to be admitted. Asthma, also water in the lungs was what my mother said. I cried upon hearing it. I don't want to go to the hospital. I don't like to be admitted. I want to go to school, I want to be with my friends and my best friend. But none of my tears could change their decision.
I ended up being admitted at a private hospital. It was a horrible experience. The food never tasted good, the hospital smell was suffocating, the iv cannula on my hand gives me limited actions, and the day seemed to end so slow.
My pediatrician performed thoracentesis on me wherein he used a very long needle and inserted it on my lungs to remove the water. I think I've heard him said he never got any water, but my parents still paid for the cost of the procedure. I know my parents felt worst knowing how much the bills have cost. I swore I'll never go back again in a hospital.
I went back to school again after that. My parents thought that my teacher have dropped me out already, since I have been admitted for more than two weeks, and stayed at home to recuperate some more as I was still on medication, so they never sent me back to school. I thought of death that time. I'd rather die than suffer something like this, my life had stopped all of a sudden.
One day, an unexpected visitor came, my teacher. She knew our house, and turns out that my grandparents and my teacher were acquaintances and have known my surname since the very beginning, but never told me.
She talked to my parents of why I was not still back at school. She told them of how much my classmates miss me. She then handed me an envelope. I opened it and found some letters and notes from my classmates. All of them were missing me, and some even asking for apologies for the past misunderstandings. I found my best friend's letter and I was so touched that I cried. My teacher said that whenever I am ready, she will be more than willing to accept me back and catch up with the lessons, and advised my parents to not let me stop my education just because of my situation.
Seeing my willingness to go back to school, my parents decided that it is time to continue my schooling. I was so happy to see my friends, especially my best friend. My friends had told me how my best friend would be sometimes quiet and lost and distracted. But she was happy that I am now okay.
I successfully graduated grade school. Though I seemed to rack my brain ever since that incident and didn't got any award, my parents were happy that I have made it.
It wasn't my last time going back to the hospital. In high school, my asthma worsened and I was on leave for a week due to admission. My lungs have collapsed and it was irreversible. I will have to bear with it until I grow old.
I managed to graduate college, but I was very sickly. The stress of academics, also the ojts were very draining. But it all paid off. I made my parents proud by making them come up to the graduation stage twice. And my mom giving the graduates the inspirational message.
I applied for a job after the board exam results came out. But everytime I do, after a month or two, I become sick again. I had frail lungs as what the doctor said. A little exposure to smoke or stress could worsen my condition. That is why my father decided to let me stop working or expect for the worse. I could only engage myself on work from home set up.
So now, if I ever had that time machine, I would not let myself get sick in the past. It made a really big impact on my future. Though I do not let these circumstances stop me from achieving some goals in my life.
But time machines do not exist. All I can do now is move forward, and focus on my goal in life. For myself. For my family.
I am taking care of myself because I have two little kids. It is tiring but very rewarding.
Now, I am working online as part timer. I also engage myself in joining paid websites, like noise and read. I am so thankful of this platform because I can earn free bch. Also I hold coins, maybe in the future I could have some luck with this, who knows.
Thanks for reading!
All is well.
Never give up.
Focus on your goals.
The Turning Point
I have always been alone, growing up alone, making decisions on my own. As the older sister in the family, I assumed the position of my mom in her absence. My mother is there, but there was never a complete and happy family for us. I have turned to my friends for comfort, because I felt hollow and empty at home.
When my father died, my mom changed for us. And we have forgiven each other. Though it was kind of awkward at first, we still managed to become a family.
I got myself in a relationship. There came a time when I gained some weight but it wasn't the first time I did, so my family thought it was normal. How busy must I be to not notice that I never had a menstruation for months. I started to suspect something. So I bought a pregnancy test kit and tested myself secretly. I got so nervous when I saw two red lines appearing.
HCG. Human Chorionic Gonadotropin. The kit has detected hcg in my urine, a hormone excreted during pregnancy, which indicates a growing embryo, and will eventually grow into a placenta. My heart was racing, and my breathing was rapid. I was so lost at the moment not knowing to be happy or sad. I don't know how to break out the news.
But, I thought, I am not a teenager anymore. I am 25. I have graduated college and is now a licensed professional. So why be so anxious at this situation? This is eventually where I'll end up in the future anyway, and isn't this what my mom have wanted?
Yes, I am 25. And for all those years, I have been a loyal member of the popular group called the - No Boyfriend Since Birth or NBSB. All of my friends were, well, there were 2 of us that had a boyfriend, but majority of us were what they called "virgins".
I grew up with my brother as my playmate. But he preferred playing with my cousins, the other two boys. They do not let me join play basketball, football or tennis just because I am a girl. I ended up to be the one picking up the balls when it went out of the zone. I never liked it, so I tried to fit in. I acted out and dressed like a boy. Well, they eventually let me join their games which made me more a tomboy.
When I was entering adolelescent stage, there was a boy, the son of my mom's friend who lived nearby. My brother always teased me that the boy had a crush on me, but I'd puke at the idea of a boy take a liking at me. He even gave me a heart shaped stone to which I rejected with my whole heart of disgust. Because of that, I even acted more like a boy. I hated my budding breasts at that time. Why would they grow like that, when I wanted to be a male. But changes like this is inevitable. This is a part of growing up. I had to accept menarche too, which constantly reminded me that I am a female.
So now, I told my boyfriend about me being pregnant, and he was happy about it, but he became a bit financially stressed because we never were ready for it. I was closest to my younger sister than my mom, so I told her next. It was so hard telling her because she might feel that I maybe leaving her soon. We were so close. I was the one who took care of her as she was growing up, I was more like a mother to her than our mom was. But she was calm about the news. In fact she was excited about it. She even accompanied me to sell my laptop, and we went to the OB together for a pre-natal visit because my boyfriend lived two hours away. I counted the months and it was 5 months old, ideal month for an ultrasound and gender reveal. It was a boy.
It was a relief to know the baby is doing well and healthy. 5 months. 5 months I have never had a hint about the pregnancy. And what have I done with those period? I've cut a banana plant, chopped some firewood, went on biking, took out some weeds, carried and transferred my potted plants, sawed and hammered an old double decker bed. I never took caution until it was a confirmed pregnancy.
I told my sister that she tell our mom because to be honest, I am a bit of hesitant, but she didn't want to. After gaining all the courage, and the right words to say, I told mom. Well she was shocked. All her life she thought I'm never into boys because of the way I felt towards them. I dress like a normal girl, but she maybe thinking about my childhood being a tomboy and hating the boys. She never had a single hint of my boyfriend. So the questions came in fast one after another and another. I cried. I cried because I don't understand myself too. It was overwhelming that I just cried. I am just glad the situation went well and I finally had the courage to tell my family. The pregnancy went through all fine.
And they were all happy about a new addition to the family. And now our family is growing and new blessing keeps adding up. We all have changed for the better. My mom is now much happier, expressing her genuine love for her grandchildren, making up for our lost times in the past. And I have learned to speak out my mind, especially to my loved ones.
Nobody Nobody but Me
I have been drafting and writing articles on read.cash, but it seemed like no one is interested on anything I write. No views, no likes, I know I can't even get a tip because I am not really a good writer, and I am still confuse on trading, the terms and slang, how the market works, so I can't write on topics like that. I just gonna write what I want to write. I'll just have to continue writing even if no one notices a nobody like me.
When I was in Kindergarten and from 1st grade to 4th grade in primary school, my teachers were so proud of me. They were so fond of how smart and jolly the kid I am. But everything changed in 5th grade when I got sick. A month of school absence, failing exam scores, low self-esteem, I became a shy and fragile kid when I went back to school. My classmates who used to be behind me in rankings rose and excelled to the top. It was okay because they deserve it anyway.
My teacher and parents stopped me from attending any school activity that required physical strength. They didn't even let me join the field demonstration, which I became sad because I really want to join. It was only dancing, but they said it would only tire me. Starting from there, it was like my whole mind went blank. I am no longer the smart and joyful person that I am. I became a sickly child who had a frequent clinic visit, daily injections after school, medications taken before breakfast. All this routine had tire me up, I didn't get to enjoy childhood because the medicines gave my body a hard time coping up.
Things changed. Even my way of dealing with life changed. I gave out my best, but others can yield more excellent results. When teachers would always notice my classmates, I become invisible. No one is noticing me at all. They would even say good things to the class, but always had a bad comment on my reporting, or my homework.
Even the popular girls in class won't take a notice on me. My crush wouldn't even look at me, but said hi to the new girl who just transferred school who was my seatmate. I stick on befriending the nerds in college. Staying low could aim for a longer and higher shot. And I was right about that. I stay focused and regained some of my nerdy brain cells. I could perfect my scores in quizzes, my instructors would set me as a good example in class, them classmates borrowing my notes. It was hard because I am a little pressured of it, but I never let it consume me.
I brought my old self back, well not entirely, maybe only a half. Those friends I made in college were whom I called now my best buds. I read books, a lot. I draw traditionally and digitally. And now engaged myself in cryptotrading!
So even this nobody can't get any tips, or a like or even just quick view, I will not stop writing. Writing have been my way of expressing my anger, sadness, frustrations and happiness since a kid, so why stop now.
Thank you for reading. 😌
My Crypto Coin Journey
I first heard of bitcoin in 2014. I do not understand the idea of how a currency apart from the paper bills and coins that I know, would exist. It's confusing for me, and I have showed no interest about it. I was so busy dealing with my stressful life and work back then, that I didn't gave much importance to it.
I became a mother in 2016. I had to stay home and take care of my baby. It got me really bored just sitting and lying down in our room everyday. So I began to search the internet for some ways I could kill time.
There was this app, a legit paying app that made me busy answering questions and it made me earned some cash. Wow, I didn't know something like these "microjobs" are helping stay at home people like me.
A 2nd paying app made me earn cash too, but it was a slow process. But I made friends. We were sharing apps that could make us earn some more while at home. One friend always shares this site about ethereum and bitcoin. I've heard about bitcoin, but what is ethereum? So she introduced ethereum is a crypto coin that is similar to bitcoin. It got me confused about all these crypto stuff that I didn't even joined the link she forwarded me. But she had encouraged me about an app that is able to claim btc every 15 minutes. I agreed to install the app, and while I am still confused, I have made it sure to claim coin every 15 minutes!
Unfortunately, my phone broke for a long time, I only used a basic keypad phone then. It was very, very torturing, but a phone is not a necessity when' I am expecting my 2nd baby, and we are struggling financially at that time. I just mentally shut down my world on connections in social media, and every platform I had joined. It was hard, but that was a year and a half, and I survived! Another year, maybe I'd go crazy?!?
When I finally got a new phone, and I was able to connect with the internet world again, I tried to search and install the btc faucet but I couldn't find it anymore in the play store. It was sad but my earnings were not as big, however. And I didn't even know it's value then and the potential it could make in the future. But did anyone expected that btc could soar up this high?
Fast forward to now, when a btc could make you a millionaire. Did I have regrets? Maybe, but there is no point in regretting on situations we can't go back. I came back earning crypto coins last year, when I came accross some games and it made me earn btc and ether. Right then, I became interested again about it. That was when I was thrust into a much bigger society of traders, hodlers, scalpers, and experts.
So right now, a lot of cryptocurrencies have emerged the market. And I now have a slight to little knowledge on this topic. I am not an expert, more of a newcomer. I am still learning to trade and also the basics and terms in the trading industry. With the guidance of some experienced traders, I invested on a small amount of coins. Buy low, sell high. And hodl.
Little by little. This is a good start. Maybe it isn't too late.
Parenting : Understanding Tantrums vs. Meltdown
Some people think that tantrums and meltdowns in kids are the same. It is important to know and understand, as a parent, each situation to be aware of how to respond in a helpful way.
TANTRUMS
What is a tantrum? It's common in children, and each tantrum results because of not getting what they want. They get frustrated when you don't respond to what they are 'saying' and throw a fit.
Many toddlers or even preschool aged kids may not have yet the proper language to express themselves or the self-control to keep emotions in order. Crying, yelling, or stomping their feet could mean anger. The child feels he deserved or need something that is being taken from him - like a chocolate, a toy or celfone video. The child becomes overwhelmed by the feeling of injustice treatment.
How to deal with tantrums?
DON'T yell or hit them. This will only add on to their frustrations.
DON'T beg, bribe or give in. Giving in means you are rewarding the tantrum and the child may think you will give in if he throws a fit. So it will continue to happen again and again.
One way many parents use is that a tantrum would subside if no one is paying attention to it.
MELTDOWN
Sometimes, a tantrum goes out of control and turns into a meltdown. A child may lose control completely with his emotions, and the behavior only stops when he becomes worn out or when a parent is able to calm him down.
A meltdown is a reaction to feeling overwhelmed. It’s usually not something people can control.
Lots of situations can trigger meltdowns, it depends on the person. For many kids and adults, meltdowns happen when they get too much information through senses. The brain becomes too stimulated and gets overwhelmed trying to process it all. This is called sensory overload.
Meltdowns may end in two ways.
By changing or reducing the amount of sensory input.
By just getting worn out. Some people may fall asleep. Others retreat inward and are unresponsive to people around them as the nervous system resets.
Indeed, tantrums and meltdowns are among the biggest challenges of parenting. They are not a sign of bad parenting though. While they maybe hard to respond to, it is part of growing up and is essential for learning and development.
Hot or Cold : Identifying Signs of Shock Underwater
A rapid change in temperature can affect betta fish in a major way. Sudden drop or an increase may result in a change on its behavoiral and physiological state. This is termed as 'cold shock'.
A cold shock stress happens when a fish has been acclimated in a specific range of temperatures and suddenly exposed to a rapid decrease in temperature.
If you are a beginner in taking care of fish, there are some methods you can do to prevent cold shock stress. But first we have to know how to identify if your pet is suffering one.
A common sign for temperature shock is lethargy. Unlike mammals, fish are cold-blooded and can only absorb warmth from the water.
They will stop moving. If the water is too cold, it will be difficult for them to swim around so they will avoid swimming around the cold water.
You find them resting at the bottom of the tank. Because it is difficult for them to swim around, you will find them just resting at the bottom. They find it hard to swim for the surface or they do not have energy to do this.
An extremely low temperature may lead your fish into coma. This is a red flag already so must take immediate action.
There is also hot temeprature shock which isnot also good for fish.
When you see your fish breathing at the surface, its normal and may seem to look natural. But notice if your fish is breathing rapidly. This could mean that your water is too warm for them.
Warm water don't contain much water than cold water does, so fish tend to go to the surface for oxygen. They will stick there and when you notice rhis, you have to check the temperature.
Also, when you notice your fish swimming quickly, while it could be a normal sign, erratic movements could stress out the fish. Warm water keeps them heated up and tend to be energetic but this is not a good sign anymore.
Checking the temperature is a necessary task. The weather could contribute to this change in their environment. When it is cold, you should put up a warm blanket around the tank or cover the lid for the heat to be sealed in. When it is hot, you can put right amount of ice cubes into it.
Do this also before you bring in back your fish in after a water change routine. Personally, when I change water, I put my betta in a glass bottle and let it float on the new water. That way, they can adapt to their new water temperature and not shock them. I let is stay there for 10 minutes, then I pour them in to their newly changed water tanks. I put also a pinch of salt too to prevent diseases and Indian Almond leaf.
Taking care of fish for me is therapeutic and a stress reliever, and by just looking at them swimming carefree makes me happy.
Then / Now : How the World Changed in a Snap
7:55 pm. I looked outside the window, gazing my eyeballs from left to right, down and up, as the steetlights were reflecting on the newly polished, dust-free glass. The moon was smiling at me and the star-laid sky was perfect. The night was quiet, calm and peaceful. Then my mind started to dive in on the memories as I came to reminisce from years back.
It's been a year. We've been dealing with these for more than a year. The world has change. A lot. People have changed. Way of living have changed. Economy has change. Everything. We didn't expect this to happen, we were not ready for this. And yet it happened.
The word "pandemic" have always been a subject for discussion in our major class. A favorite pick of my instructors for a question on quizzes and periodic exams. Together with its siblings; endemic, epidemic, sporadic. We've always discussed how endemic and epidemic were naturally occuring in every situation. I knew pandemic is rare, but it never occured to me that it will really happen to this day. And here I am, and all of you, witnessing a historical, global phenomena. If we get out here alive, if we survive, we are all part of a history. A horrible history we never want to be repeated in the future, for our children and granchildren's sake.
I have children. Two boys. And I need to be super duper extra cautious when going outside for groceries and other errands. I really don't like wearing disposable mask, even from before I was on hospital duty. You sweat a lot underneath and gives you bad breath, and you can smell it! Unfortunately, this time, it's different. Because you cannot just directly touch any part of your face, pull down your mask, and wipe off the sweat. You need to wash your hands first or at least sanitize, and distance yourself from other people, and do it secretly where no authorities can see you. If they do see you with your mask pulled down, you will be fined for breaking a health protocol. Having an asthma is diificult too while wearing a mask, so I just try to walk slowly so I may not ran out of breath.
Children were not allowed to go out of the house. And my boys have been on home quarantine since lockdown have started March 2020. Well, I took the older one once outside for a pediatric consultation, and both of them to spend Christmas with their grandmother for a day. They're not allowed inside malls, but even if they were, I won't risk their health for a little mall stroll, and they're not even allowed to go in every department, to which I think is not enjoyable though. These kids, like any other kids have always been a frequent mall visitor. Explaining to them why they are not able to go out, and always just stay at home where it's safest is a must. But psychologically speaking, it's affecting them in any way. No social interaction with people or other kids, seeing the same surrounding again and again. We don't own a private car so these kids have nowhere else to go but just around the house. Compensating this situation, we parents should play with and interact with them. Video calls are really life saver. They can talk to their grandma (my mom), cousins who we haven't seen for more than a year now. I buy toys when I go outside. It makes me somehow relieved seeing their smiling, happy faces when they open the toys. The older one is about to go to school this year, so I bought him school stuff he can use for home schooling. So is the younger one. You can't just buy the other and not the other, or else they will fight over it.
I remember how on a lovely night like this, there were times I go out for a walk at the night market. Eating street food, buying some stuff I like and for my husband and kids. A starry night sky is my thing. Though I am not a night person, obviously night markets are only open at night. I am more of a day person who likes to walk under the heat of the sun.
I miss my friends back at home. I miss my garden. I miss planting trees and ornamental plants back at home. I miss cutting down banana plant. I miss my dad. I miss my family. I miss everything back at home. And it's just so hard because I am so much afraid to commute on a bus then go back home to the kids. Maybe one day, soon.
This whole pandemic thing may drive us crazy if we cannot handle the situation well. People died, murdered, fell in love, succeed, lost, depressed. Even my husband suffered depression and have to go through that pricey psychological check ups every month. But we can't surrender now. No. We have to fight. To live. To survive.
Looking away from the living room window, I stepped now into our brightly lit bedroom, with letters and numbers mounted on the wall, a kid's bedroom. The boys were dancing to a monster stomp song, giggling and singing. I smiled and joined them. We need to survive.
The Beginning of My Dream as a Writer
I've always been a talkative writer. But only whines and life uncertainties and questions written in a whole page of my school pad. That was when I was in high school when family and school pressures me so much.
I want to be a writer. Writing articles, novels, and even for the school paper. I think when I hear or read something like- "I am a writer", when somebody asks someone. Cool, smart, intelligent. But I think my grammar could not be qualified to be a good writer. My vocabulary is not as dense as a person could be of my age. But I am trying. Reading books is what I do to compensate. Reading novels out loud, sending off different emotions to every manga I read, talking to myself in the mirror and watching more English shows. It may seem to be a bit late for me to learn this all, when I could've made a step many years back. But there are no point regretting. I just have to move forward and meet my goal.
Being a writer requires extensive research on the plot, the places, characters. You just don't write something and put it on writing then and then. What I understood is, in order to reach your audience effectively, describing each detail, emotions, and expressions mattered a lot. Your reader should feel that she is the main character, and the mind travelling through the imaginary world to which the author have created. It is like thrusting yourself in a the world of a video game where you have to play the lead, except that you cannot see the whole thing, but instead, your mind is picturing it.
Also dedication is very important. Yes, I dreamt of becoming a writer. I adored every friend I have who writes articles for a living. I wish I could too. I guess my confidence is backing off, knowing that my grammar sucks. But I am trying. And I will keep trying, because if I stop, then when?
So for you who's reading my 1st article, do you think I am good enough to be a novice writer? Please be my critique and I would appreciate every tip and advice that you can share to me.
@Awawu