Uncertainty is all around us, never more so than it is now. The current COVID-19 pandemic has raised confusion about the economy, employment, budgets, relationships, and physical and mental health, of course. Yet, we crave protection as human beings. We want to feel safe and have a sense of control and well-being over our lives. You will feel depressed, nervous, and helpless over the direction of your life with fear and uncertainty. In a downward spiral of endless "what-ifs" and worst-case scenarios about what tomorrow can bring, it can rob you emotionally and trap you.
We are all different from each other in how much vulnerability we can handle in life. Some individuals seem to love taking chances and living unforeseeable lives, while others find life's randomness extremely distressing. But we all have a limit. If you feel overwhelmed by confusion and anxiety, it's important to realize that you're not alone; at this moment, many of us are in the same boat. It's also important to remember that you can take measures to better cope with uncontrollable situations, relieve your fear, and face the unknown with more confidence, no matter how powerless and hopeless you feel.
Learning to manage uncertainty
While we may not want to accept it, confusion is a natural and unavoidable part of existence. Very little is constant or absolutely certain about our lives, and while we have power over many aspects, we cannot control everything that happens to us. Life can change very rapidly and very unpredictably, as the coronavirus outbreak has shown. You may have gotten sick unexpectedly, lost your work, or struggled to put food on the table or keep your family healthy. You may be concerned about when the pandemic is going to end or whether life will ever return to normal.
Many of us use worry as a tactic to try and predict the future and prevent nasty surprises to cope with all this confusion. Worrying will make it seem that you have some power over unpredictable situations. You may think it will help you figure out a solution to your problems or brace you for the worst. Maybe you'll find a solution and be able to monitor the result if you just agonize about a dilemma long enough, just think about every option, or read every opinion online.
Take action on problems that you can manage
At the moment, everything about life is unpredictable, and many things remain beyond your control. But although you can't monitor the spread of a virus, the stabilization of the economy, or if next week you're going to have a paycheck, you're not fully powerless. Instead of thinking about the uncontrollable, try to refocus your attention on taking action on the elements that are under your power, whatever your worries or personal circumstances.
For example, during this tough period, whether you've lost your job or income, you still have control of how much energy you put into looking for work online, sending out resumes, or networking with your contacts. Similarly, you should take precautions by frequently washing your hands, cleaning surfaces, avoiding crowds, and watching out for vulnerable friends and neighbors if you are concerned about your health in the midst of the coronavirus pandemic.
You can turn from futile worrying and ruminating into constructive problem-solving by concentrating on the aspects of a problem that you can manage in this way. Of course, all conditions are different and you can find that all you can control in certain circumstances is your attitude and emotional reaction.
Deal with your emotions
It's easy to become overwhelmed by fear and negative feelings when things are out of your control. You may assume that the best result would be bottling up how you feel, trying to put on a brave face, or pushing yourself to be optimistic. But it will only raise stress and anxiety to ignore or suppress your feelings and make you more vulnerable to depression or burnout.
You should also consciously face up to your feelings, even the most pessimistic and fearful ones, if you can do nothing else about a situation. It will help you minimize tension, better cope with your situations, and find a sense of calm as you deal with difficulties by enabling yourself to encounter uncertainty in this way.
Challenging the need for certainty
While confusion and change are inescapable aspects of life, habits are often adopted to try and cope with the stress they can bring. Apart from thinking about any imaginable situation, you can:
Seek reassurance from others excessively. In an attempt to eliminate doubt from your life, you repeatedly ask friends or loved ones if you are making the right decision, actively study information online, or seek expert advice.
Micromanage people. You refuse to assign duties, either at work or at home, to anyone. You can also try to compel people around you to adjust, to make you more predictable about their actions.
Procrastinate. Packaging. You expect to escape the confusion that eventually follows, by not making choices. In an attempt to prevent negative stuff from happening, you can find ways to pause or postpone acting, or even avoid such circumstances all together.
Check things repetitively. To make sure they're safe, you call or text your family, friends, or kids again and again. Before sending, you review and re-check emails, texts or forms, double-check lists to ensure that you have not skipped something that may have an effect on the future's predictability.
Challenging this behaviors
By asking yourself the following questions, you will challenge the habits you have adopted to reduce the anxiety of uncertainty:
What are the benefits of certainty? What drawbacks are there?
Life can change in a moment and it's full of surprises and unpredictable occurrences, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. There are also positive things that come out of the blue with any bad surprise, such as a car accident or serious medical diagnosis, a dream work offer, a surprise pay raise, or an unexpected phone call from an old friend. Opportunity also comes from the unexpected and you can also learn to adapt, resolve obstacles, and improve your resilience by having to face uncertainty in life. It will help you evolve as a human being.
How much in life can you be completely certain about?
Does anyone have a lifetime employment, a promise of good health, or utter assurance of what tomorrow will bring? The illusion of having some influence over a situation is provided by behaviors such as worrying, micromanaging, and procrastinating, but what do they affect in reality? The reality is that life will find a way to surprise you, no matter how hard you try to plan and prepare for any possible outcome. All that really does aspire for certainty is fuel concern and anxiety.
Do you think bad things are going to happen only because there is an uncertain outcome? What is the chance that they will?
It's easy to overestimate the risk of something negative happening when you're faced with uncertainty, and underestimate your capacity to cope if it does. But even at this precarious moment, given that the risk of something bad happening is tiny, is it possible to live with the slight chance and concentrate on the more likely results instead? In particular cases, ask your friends and family how they deal with confusion. Are you willing to do the same?
Learn to embrace uncertainty
The reality is that you already embrace a lot of ambiguity every day, no matter how much you try to eradicate doubt and instability from your life. You embrace a degree of ambiguity anytime you cross a street, get behind the wheel of a car, or eat takeout or restaurant food. You trust that the traffic will stop, that you're not going to have an accident, and that anything you eat is healthy. In these situations, the chances of something bad happening are minimal, so you accept the risk and move on without needing trust. If you are religious, as part of your religion, you are also likely to accept some skepticism and confusion.
It can be difficult to think critically and correctly weigh up the likelihood of something negative happening when unreasonable fears and worries take root. The following steps will help to help you become more tolerant and to consider uncertainty:
Identify the causes of your uncertainty. A lot of confusion, through unnecessary concern or a negative outlook, for instance, appears to be self-generated. Some uncertainty can, however, be created by external sources, especially at times like this. It can all fuel your own worries and doubts to read media stories that concentrate on worst-case scenarios, spend time on social media amid speculation and half-truths, or simply connect with nervous friends. That's why so many people are currently panic-buying toilet paper, watching others do it, and it feeds their own fears. You may take steps to prevent or decrease your sensitivity to them by knowing your causes.
Recognize the need for certainty as you feel. Note when you start feeling nervous and frightened about a situation, start thinking about what-ifs, or feel like a situation is much worse than it really is. Check for physical signs that you feel nervous about. The tension in your neck or shoulders, shortness of breath, headache, or an empty feeling in your stomach can be apparent. Take a moment to pause and realize why you crave reassurance or a promise.
Give yourself the uncertainty to experience. Let yourself feel the pain of confusion instead of engaging in vain attempts to maintain control over the uncontrollable. Like all feelings, they will ultimately pass if you allow yourself to feel fear and uncertainty. Focus on the present moment and your breathing and encourage yourself to experience the confusion you are feeling clearly and observe it. To keep you grounded in the moment, take some long, deep breaths or try meditation.
Let go. By remembering that you're not a fortune teller, react to the what-ifs running through your head; you don't know what's going to happen. All you can do is let go and, as part of life, embrace confusion.
Let your focus move. Focus on solvable issues, take action on those parts of an issue you can tackle, or just go back to what you were doing. Refocus your attention on the present moment and your own breathing when your mind wanders back to worrying, or the feelings of confusion return.
Concentrate on the present
Uncertainty is also based on fears about the future and all the negative stuff that you might expect to happen. In the days ahead, it can leave you feeling helpless and frustrated, exaggerate the seriousness of the issues you face, and even paralyze you from taking steps to solve a problem.
Focusing on the moment is one of the surest ways to stop thinking about the future. Turn your focus to what's happening right now, instead of trying to guess what could happen. You will disrupt the pessimistic assumptions and tragic predictions going through your mind by being completely linked to the moment.
Through mindfulness, you will learn to consciously concentrate your focus on the moment. With daily practice, mindfulness will help transform your concern about potential issues to a greater appreciation of the present moment, as well as help relax your mind, alleviate tension, and improve your overall mood.
By following an audio meditation or integrating it into an exercise routine, such as walking, you may begin a mindfulness exercise. It may take perseverance to use mindfulness to remain focused on the moment. You can initially find that your mind begins to drift back to your future fears and concerns, but keep it up. You are reinforcing a new mental habit that will help you break free of confusion every time you concentrate your attention on the present.
Managing anxiety and stress
It will help you stop the downward spiral of depressive feelings, find inner peace, and better cope with the turmoil in your life by taking action to reduce your overall stress and anxiety levels.
Get going. Exercise is a stress-reliever and anti-anxiety therapy that is natural and effective. Try incorporating an element of mindfulness and reflecting on how your body feels when you walk. Pay attention, for example, to the sensation of your feet touching the ground as you walk, run, or dance, or the sound of your breathing, or the feeling of your skin being sunny or windy.
Allow time to rest. For daily practice, pick a relaxation technique such as meditation, yoga, or deep breathing exercises and try to set aside time each day.
Get plenty of sleep. Excessive worry and uncertainty will interrupt your sleep, just as anxiety and stress can be fuelled by a lack of quality sleep. You can help to sleep better at night by changing your daytime habits and taking time to relax and unwind before bed.
Eat a balanced diet. Eating nutritious meals can help to maintain your levels of energy and avoid mood swings. Stop sugar and refined foods and aim to add more salmon, walnuts, soybeans, and flaxseed omega-3 fats to give a boost to your overall mood.