I'm a little bit nervous and worried at the same time, but I know and I believe that Lord God is always in control.
I'm a breadwinner in my family, great responsibilities and obligations are running in my veins. The burdens really burn my heart with tears. But, I'm happy, and I will never get tired of it.
Being a breadwinner is not easy at it is, there are a lot of storms I have been through. There are a lot of things that feel like thunderstorms that hit me and burn me into ashes. Tears that feel like heavy rains that drown me, flooded with problems, and shaken with circumstances. There are many sleepless nights that blurry my sight, a lot of bumps that ruin my vision. Words that feel like a knife, eyes that look down on me, and situations that bury my dignity.
There are a lot of days that I cannot even explain what I feel. I feel nervous and worried at the same time. Being a breadwinner, there are things that scared me the most, the time that I cannot give what they need, and being helpless during emergencies. This thing suffocates me and really kills me inside. I'm crying so loud inside that even tears are afraid to come out.
But I will never lose hope, those things make me feel worthless, but I know that the blessings of God that await me are priceless. I will never turn down my goals, and whatever it takes, I will never forget about my dreams. All of these are struggles, are for the people who believe in me, and I will get through everything for my family.
I know for sure that these things are just temporary, and ways of God to sharpen my faith and test my strength. I surrender all my worries, all my doubts, and all of the struggles in my way to Him because He works miraculously. I know that everything is in control by Him. He is able, always, and in all ways.