The shocking reason you shouldn't read this!

Well hello there!

Long time no see! And that is why I shall start today's article with an apology.

To those who might have been following me, my apologies for the continuously slipping frequency of my postings. Over the past few weeks, I've been in a negative mood and I decided y'all didn't need another whining voice of negativity in your lives and "if you ain't got nothing nice to say, you might wanna consider shutting up".

Hey before i forget: Please take a look at the sponsors. Content worthy of you by people worth your time!

That last line gave me shivers down my back and I'm sure that if an afterlife would have existed my ma would be laughing her ass off right now. One of the more vivid memories of our many many discussions is the one where i assured her that i would never quote anything she said to anyone ever. I was convinced nothing she said had any value to anyone. Here I am quoting her before potential millions of readers. Funny twists this thing we call life can turn us through.

And next, i want to apologize to all y'all. The title is pure clickbait. There are as few reasons to read this as there are not to. If that is shocking, then at least part of the title makes sense.

lol.

Soo... how i am? Well, pretty much back to earth and back to having to fight everything and everybody for every millimeter of progress in my life so far, and keeping the momentum going into the future. Attempts at circumventing laws to get at my compensation, the company owning my house sneaking in new rules to catch me in violation so they can kick me out (and raise the rent 300% for the next Tennant), and well-intended social workers that nearly cost me the visits from my son all haven't made for a period I look back on fondly.

As far as I can tell I've pre-empted most of it and reacted on the bits I didn't see coming, and it seems it has all remained without consequences so far.

But I'm really getting tired of fighting every little thing I try to do to get out of the hole and see the sky again. I don't want to even think about building up something once I'm on the surface though. If that's as much a fight as I'm having now... I've got trouble channeling my inner Bob the Builder, to be honest.

Observed.

The last revelation that showed government agencies can be sick confusing motherfuckers came last week when, through sheer coincidence (which for concerns that will be obvious in this paragraph will not be discussed), i found out that CPS was actively following my internet activity. At least on my social media and probably here as well, everything i post can be recorded and archived entirely out of context to be used at its most damaging potential. I found out when some words were quoted verbatim to me from an article i had posted here and somewhere else. Which words don't matter but suffice to say that at this point every word i put up online makes me check three times if there's anything that could be used against me.

This course doesn't boost my motivation to write and post which results in a lower posting frequency.

I went on a FAYA AWOL

Last two weeks I've actually behaved like a college freshman pledging for a fraternity, and (shhht... don't tell anyone) I think I enjoyed it way more than I should have. An old friend, whom I thought to be dead, showed up at my door suddenly out of nowhere. It turned out he'd been abroad and got his foot in with a company servicing pipelines in the middle east. He was here to make up for leaving without a word and make up for a lost time. Well, I can report that he did just that and then some. With the previous paragraphs in mind, I will refrain from going into details but I can reveal that hardcore festivals and, at least for me, a woman were involved.

He's now moved on and visiting his parents before he'll go back to work. This leaves me with a funny feeling. I don't really want to stop partying and living it up like it's the 90s. I also know that come tomorrow morning I've got to pick up the unsatisfying trainwreck that is my life. And I will. It's just hard not to feel sad and stupid knowing that if I'd not fallen in love with my ex back in 2008 the past two weeks would be what my whole life would be like.

Ah well, I better quit before this becomes an article as the one I wanted to prevent myself from posting. Hope anyone finds this article of any interest or use. I hope to find fuel for my writing inspiration and motivation soon.

Thanks for reading this.

Stay safe and Stay happy!

@anonsunamun