I had this house from my parents. This house owned by everyone, me and my siblings. Since my brother's and sister's are got married also they build their own home. They had already their own house. Our home become so peaceful when Papa's left. My two married sisters are still with us at that time. Since they have already their babies our home becomes happy. Their babies becomes our pain reliever. I am still young at that time i think 7 or 8 Years old. So i couldn't deny that I was a babysitter before since elementary.

When they have Their Own

When they decided to build a house our home becomes peaceful again. So quite and i really feel the sadness in this house. When one of my single brother got a job he started to renovate our house. Then changes becomes a way of happiness again, despite the problem way face. We do feel comfortable that time because our house got finished the division of the room and had finishing the floor. Something change but, sadness is still their.

Since the day Papa left, i always have a question in my mind that never been answered. Why is he left? Is he came back? When will be eating together with a happy big family? I taught that Papa will came home so soon. I don't feel him like he died. I just feel he is just left us for purpose and get a job in a far away place and then come home soon. I usually used to it that he came every Saturday afternoon and brought some bread. Then when I'm getting older, i understand all that it would not be happen again.

The Called Sadness

The sadness in this house is still there up to this day. And it was just do it again since Mama left us year 2017. Since she left i think the more pain i felt. It was so sad in my side because I always believed that they'll be back together with Papa but it's not. Up to this age I'm still longing there love and care special with my Papa. I just remembered him that he will carry me wherever he go not like the others that they can bond together until they got married.

Got Bored

A while ago, me and my daughter got bored in the house. No one visiting as. I call my sister to be here but she doesn't answer. I realized what if i will try to go there house. But sad to say that they are not there. So we go to the store beside the road. And then there they are. We feel happy now with my baby it was our first time to go out with no permission with her Papa. Hehehe.. Her Papa is so strict when it comes to baby but it's okay i just tell him when he got home from work. And he just ask if there are other people there, and i just answered nothing but only my sister and my nieces and nephew. He was worried because we know we are still in pandemic. We know tha couldn't tell what they feel,that's why he won't allow us to expose other people.

So much for that, this is our photo a quick picture with my baby outside the house. I just add it a different filter 😊

My thoughts

Even if i already have a daughter i could still remember the pain inside our house that's why this house was so memorable to me. I got married with no parents guiding that's why I am still longing for it. Somehow, I am not satisfied with their love and care because they left 😔 I know you will understand me. It is not easy for me.

I will just end this until next time.. 🥰