We people have different characters. As we interact with people around us, we got to show different layers of we are differently from one person to another.
We have this face that we always show to the world (the first layer), that is somehow different to what we show to our close friends and family (the second layer), and the face we never show to anyone but ourselves (the third layer, the most deep one).
I was just scrolling in my Facebook account a few hours ago when a post about a Japanese theory popped-up in my newsfeed from the FB page of The Finest Minds. I am fond of this kind of topic because I can relate to the main idea since human character is complex and changes from time to time.
Just what I've said earlier, I was really into this kind of topic so I've read several articles about it. One of the articles I've read that clearly explained the topic is the article of Ruthanne Reid entitled "Your Character's Three Faces."
The quote was included there just like what's written on the screenshot of the post above:
The Japanese say you have three faces. The first face, you show to the world. The second face, you show to your close friends, and your family. The third face, you never show anyone. It is the truest reflection of who you are.
~ Mary Burton
I've learned on Rhutanne Reid's article and Mary Burton's Quote that our character depends on who we are dealing with.
Based on my own understanding, I will explain these three faces one by one, with examples.
The first face is what we are showing to the world. It's like a very first layer of our face that anyone can see. That is when the first impression was formed towards us by random people which is sometimes inaccurate compared to who we really are. Someome might say to another, "you look kind," but deep inside that person is evil and tend to act kindly when he/she only needs something to someone.
When I am in a crowd where I don't know anyone I am closed to, I tend to act like a very shy cat or never interact at all, that's why some are having this impression of me as snobbish or unapproachable when it fact I just don't have enough confidence to interact with strangers for the first time. Others have been questioning me for pursuing the teaching profession, because they see me as someone who can't do public speaking, but what they don't know is that, my teacher, classmates, friends, and my family are applauding me for being great in presenting my ideas and interacting with my listeners.
The second face is what we often show to our close friends and family. This face may consider as our real self, as we tend to act naturally in front of the people we value the most. But, not to the extent that this is our real character. It maybe real but still not occupies our whole personality. Sometimes, we are scared to show our real face to them especially if we are doubting if they will choose to stay despite the negative sides we have.
When I'm when I'm with my close friends and family, I tend to act like a crazy loquacious woman that doesn't have any traces of shyness. I act like a clingy puppy and smiles all the time as if I don't have any problems in life, because I don't want to make them worry if ever that I have a problem or I want to radiate positivity to them.
This is the truest face we have. We never show it to anyone but us. This is how we reflect and understand who we really are when alone. We choose to hide it, because we don't want to get judged especially when it contradicts others' characters, we don't want to get rejected when someone can't accept the real us, or to make someone stay by showing our positive side while hiding the negatives.
When I am alone, that's when my real face show up. I don't fully known myself yet, but I have this side that I've never shown to anyone even to my close friends and family. We all have this very personal side that we chose to hide because that's how we protect ourselves and anyone around us, I guess. When I am with my family, sometimes I acted like I agree to what they are saying even though I really wanted to contradict their words. I don't want to cause any trouble at all to them that will soon points me out as being a disrespectful daughter, so I chose to be silent. But, in other instances I can also voice out my opinions without them getting annoyed so I think it depends upon the circumstances. Looks can be deceiving because what we see, isn't always what it/they seem.
These three faces explained our real character that we show in different instances with different people. Our character itself is dynamic just like the world we are living. Changes is inevitable and inescapable even in understanding ourselves. So, as we interact with other people, we have this faces intended for strangers, family and close friends, and to ourselves.
Physically, we only have one face, but psychologically speaking, we have three. We express ourselves depending on who we are interacting with. We act in accordance to what we feel as acceptable to someone, when it's appropriate to show this side or not, and choose to hide by wearing a mask with three layers when needed.
We are living in a world full of illusions. Not all we see are true even towards people. All of us are wearing a mask, accept that. Everyone have their own sides that remain as a secret that only reveal in unexpected time. No one knows. Even if we are very close to someone, they still have a secret that they never want to share with us, because that's their way of protecting themselves or the people around them like us.
Therefore, always be critical when interacting with someone. Observed sharply and never judge when something has been revealed. All of us have reasons for wearing a masks. Be more understanding and objective all the time.
We are not a robot, we act with the help of our mind and heart, and show the faces of who we are differently.
This article is based on my own understanding after reading Ruthanne Reid's article entitled "Your Character's Three Faces." with the quote said by Mary Burton in her work "Hide and Seek (Criminal Profiler #3) about "The Three Faces According to Japanese."
Thank you for reading!!!