My Mind Left Me During Christmas Break

Is it still okay to enroll in another academic semester when my mind is still not here with me as it stuck during the previous holidays?

I am having a conversation with my classmate a while back, exchanging queries about when will be the exact enrollment for the next semester. It is already January 3 and it’s supposed to be the resumption of classes, but no announcement about it pops up in our group chat. I don’t know what should I feel with our silent group chat, with no announcement coming from our professors and dean.

I am stuck with what should I feel, whether I’ll be worried because days are passing, but I am not yet enrolled, or I’ll be happy because I still have time to relax, far from piles of stressful school works.

Aside from that, I also accept the fact that my overall mental and physical health are not yet ready for this semester. My brain is not yet ready for another academic breakdown (charot), but I am also eager to enroll and continue my studies as I have my goal to graduate in college, hold my degree, work with decent job and salary, and help my parents/family with our finances everyday.

I don’t think I really enjoy the recent academic break/short vacation we have. Problems and stressful situations showered our family recently, so I did not actually enjoy our vacation. We haven’t got back the money borrowed from us even though we already talk about it in Barangay Hall, my grandma died unexpectedly that left us in tears and with huge finances for the funeral services, some of our equipment and machineries needs fixing which requires us to spend huge money from it as well, and so many problems that involves money. On that note, we all worked intensively to solve our financial problem. I did include in my recent article that I gave money to my father for our farm that came from my earnings in our printing business and here in read.cash and noise.cash.

When we still have our online class, I planned that when vacation came, I will relax and sleep early to gain back my drained energy. I also planned about studying in advance for the next semester, so that, my brain will be prepared enough to take another lessons. However, I did not achieve those that I’ve planned.

During the vacation, what I did was working to help my parent, crying because of emotional breakdown, and have a very small amount of time to do my hobbies and have fun. I am always sleeping late because it seems like my insomnia worsen because of stress. On that note, I don’t think, I am still healthy and my mind is always wandering in a pool of problems.

Though, I already practiced the way of preventing negative thoughts in my mind (I already made an article about it, so you can check it out) I am still stressed with every event and situation in my life. My brain can’t do its main function to the fullest and that made me worried since 2nd semester of this school year is approaching.

I told my classmate earlier that I am still not sure about when I am going to enroll since there are no announcement about it so far, and my mind is still not ready to take lessons. I still wanted to enjoy the remaining days of vacation, and have fun as much as possible. My mind hasn’t gotten back yet as it is still stuck in Christmas and New Year Holidays, and I think that I should be worried about it.

To be honest, I am writing this article by barely using my thinking ability, and just letting my fingers to do the work by typing the words in the laptop I’m using right now. This is a free writing style so I am not really concern right now with the proper grammar, punctuations, and sentence coherence for this piece of writing.

I am apologizing with you right now if ever that you found some grammatical errors as my mind is still not here with me, it is still enjoying in the time of Christmas break. Hahaha

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Despite the absence of my mind (metaphorically speaking), I will still try my best to gain it back and utilize it with its supposed capacity. Of course, it is not okay to enroll this coming semester without my brain with me as I might be doomed during our class with my strict professors. Aside from that, if I won’t bring back my brain’s ability to absorb the lessons and utilize it to make judgments, I won’t get my desired grades in college, and there’s no chance for me to get the latin honor which my family want me to have. However, I am not pressuring myself that much about getting higher grades always, I just want to have decent marks so I won’t disappoint myself, my family, and other closed people around me.

From that moment, I will try my best to attract and get back my mind, and bring it back to reality.

Author’s Note:

As a sign of gratitude, I want to express how thankful I am to you, my readers. Thank you very much for those who keeps on supporting me with my articles, and I hope that even though my writing skill was not yet pro enough, you are still learning from it. I am very thankful also to my sponsors, I am hoping that you are all doing fine and for you to be showered with more blessings from above. 

Special mention to @gwapojohn as I am really thankful about his sponsorship renewal for me. I hope, you will be blessed more with your kindness.

May the good Lord bless you more with love and grace! 😇❤️

Thank you so much for reading! 💕

Date Published: January 3, 2022

Lead Image and Gif: Originally edited by me using Canva