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Is it disrespectful?

23 10 exc
Avatar for Amy05
Written by   130
1 year ago
Topics: Respect, Young, Elders

Is it disrespectful to defend yourself to other people whose older than you even if you're the right one?

I choose to talk about this topic for today since I am quite upset about this toxic trait that if someone is older than you, you have to respect them and that includes agreeing to everything they're saying even though it's wrong.

Respect is a huge act and it shows how kind we are in socializing with everyone around us. If we respect others, we can also receive it from them, that's what most us believed as the saying goes "respect begets respect." But, that's not always the case. Some people are fond of disrespecting others but still have the courage to demand for something they can't even give.

Have you experienced being humiliated by someone older than you, but when you are about to defend yourself, the table had turned, and you're the one being disrespectful now?

I experienced it a lot of times and it's so frustrating being thrown by negative words when in fact it's them who deserved to be called that way.

Here how it goes:

When I was a kid (maybe around 8 years old), there are times that my parents and siblings were leaving me at home especially if they have to attend important matters. I am an introvert before (now an ambivert) and I didn't want to be in a crowd to socialize since it's not really my thing. Since I don't want to go somewhere else and prefer to be in a quiet place, my parents decided to leave me at home for quite some time, but considering my young age, my other relatives have to be with me as well.

One time, my parents trusted my aunt to be with me at home, but when they're not around that aunt of mine was fond of meddling with our things. She tend to drained our stocks of snacks and give it to her children, but when my parents were at home, I am the one they're blaming because my aunt said that I ate them all. During the confrontation, of course, I defended myself but since I am still young, my aunt got the opportunity to turn the table by telling that I am a lier and being disrespectful for answering back. I am not disrespectful, I am just telling the truth to defend myself, but I can't do anything but to be silent at last because I knew that I couldn't win from that nonsense argument.

Even until now, I still do experience to be in a situation where elders have to be respected by means of receiving all their humiliations without answering back. And I know that some of you have experienced/experiencing it too.

Here's another story:

My friend is a hardworking and studious one. She always tries her best to maintain her grades in school by doing her homeworks on time and through reviewing intensively before their exams/quizzes while working on the household chores at their home. But, her mom's mindset isn't the same as hers. Her mom never considered studying as her daughter's main priority and she's forcing my friend to work on their chores rather than doing the pending school works.

One day, my friend was having her online presentation but her mom scolded her for that. Even if she had the proof of studying, her mom still got angry and believed that her daughter was just messing around on her phone. She doesn't care about her daughter's studies but my friend prioritize it that's why she answered back to defend herself. She defended herself but still got slapped for being called as disrespectful. I'm glad that her dad settled everything in the end and my friend is now in a good condition, I guess.

This was based on my friend's story when she opened up with me about it months ago. We are just neighbors and I heard everything, so I know that she hasn't fabricated a story just to stained her mom's image. As much as I want to defend her too during that time, my parents asked me to never meddle with it because it's their family's problem and I will just drag myself into trouble if I did. I am glad that she's fine now, and her mom realized her mistakes.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Being respectful is such a great act and everyone must know how to show it to maintain good relationship with each other.

Respect should be given equally regardless of age and state in life.

It doesn't mean that if you are older than others then you can disrespect anyone but still demand for it. Be objective and never be selfish with everyone's feelings. Know the other's side first before concluding. Everyone has a reason for doing such act. Hear their reasons and never judge them easily as being disrespectful.

As for the young ones, always show respect to anyone around you and if ever that you get caught in an argument with elders, try to explain in a calm voice and never shout at them. You can defend yourself as long as you are on the right track, but if you know that you really did something wrong then apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness. I know that it's not as easy as that, but let me remind you that harsh ways will never be a solution in any problems (someone will get hurt if you did). Settle a problem in a good and calm way, because that's the right approach.

Show respect whether you are young or old, but being called disrespectful for telling the truth is always been wrong.


Author's Note:

Date Published: August 5, 2021

Lead Image: Originally created by me using Canva

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Written by   130
1 year ago
Topics: Respect, Young, Elders
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Comments

Defending yourself in a nice way is not disrespectful especially if you know you are right.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

True, and I hope everyone can accept that fact.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Right

$ 0.00
1 year ago

For me, it's not disrespectful as long as you defend yourself in a proper manner.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

I agree, but some elders won't accept it.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Yeah, some of them are close-minded because they think they are right for being the old one. Well, at least we defended ourselves and let them hear our side.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You're right po, let's try our best to defend ourselves if needed but in a good and calm manner so if ever that they will label us being disrespectful, then we won't feel guilty about it.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Yasss! That's right dear

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I believe it's the same here too. Indian parents want their kids to fear them, not respect them.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

I'm so sad to know about it. I hope the fairness will eventually emerge someday and respect will gain its positive essence again.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

We are the next generation of parents or 'elders'. I swear to not let continue this to my kids or kids around me.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Me too, I want to break that toxic norm.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Have I experienced being humiliated by someone older than me, but when I am about to defend myself, the table had turned, and I am the one being disrespectful now? Yes, tons of times. Sila pa yung MALI tapos tayo pa yung naging masama sa mata ng nakararami. 🤦

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Kaya yung iba nananahimik nalang kasi kapag sumagot sila pabalik, disrespectful na agad yun. Ang unfair lang. 🙃

$ 0.00
1 year ago

napaka unfair talaga

$ 0.00
1 year ago

True, pero kapag tumanda ako never ako mag dedegrade ng mas bata sa akin. Para at least, fair naman. Hehe

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I do agree with what you have written Amy. Yung toxic practices talaga na di dapat mag reason out kasi mas bata, sobra na minsan. We have the right to reason out. Pero yun nga in a calm manner and always input the respect still.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Yes po, yung tipong hindi man lang natin madefend yung sarili natin kasi sign of disrespect na daw kasi yun, which is very frustrating lalo na kung nasa tamang katwiran naman tayo. Nakakalungkot lang kaya minsan pinipili nalang manahimik nung iba at inaako nalang lahat ng kasalanang hindi naman nila ginawa to not be called as disrespectful.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Totoo talaga. Parang wala tayong freedom na magsalita e. Pero ako pag ganyan, tinatry ko padin sumagot. Kasi alam ko naman na ansa tama ako

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ako din, tinatry ko mag-explain nang kalmado pero minsan hindi rin nila inaaccept yun. Kaya mas mabuting manahimik nalang din minsan lalo na kung wala naman akong mapapala.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ay totoo din eh. Nasanay sa naunang panahon na bawal talaga sumagot pag mas bata. Pero sana maiba na ngayon. Pero in a good way padin.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Sana mabigyan din ng freedom ang mga mas bata na iexplain yung side nila pero sana hindi rin sumobra at maabuso.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Totoo din. Yung alam pa din yung limitations.

$ 0.00
1 year ago