Is it disrespectful?

Is it disrespectful to defend yourself to other people whose older than you even if you're the right one?

I choose to talk about this topic for today since I am quite upset about this toxic trait that if someone is older than you, you have to respect them and that includes agreeing to everything they're saying even though it's wrong.

Respect is a huge act and it shows how kind we are in socializing with everyone around us. If we respect others, we can also receive it from them, that's what most us believed as the saying goes "respect begets respect." But, that's not always the case. Some people are fond of disrespecting others but still have the courage to demand for something they can't even give.

Have you experienced being humiliated by someone older than you, but when you are about to defend yourself, the table had turned, and you're the one being disrespectful now?

I experienced it a lot of times and it's so frustrating being thrown by negative words when in fact it's them who deserved to be called that way.

Here how it goes:

When I was a kid (maybe around 8 years old), there are times that my parents and siblings were leaving me at home especially if they have to attend important matters. I am an introvert before (now an ambivert) and I didn't want to be in a crowd to socialize since it's not really my thing. Since I don't want to go somewhere else and prefer to be in a quiet place, my parents decided to leave me at home for quite some time, but considering my young age, my other relatives have to be with me as well.

One time, my parents trusted my aunt to be with me at home, but when they're not around that aunt of mine was fond of meddling with our things. She tend to drained our stocks of snacks and give it to her children, but when my parents were at home, I am the one they're blaming because my aunt said that I ate them all. During the confrontation, of course, I defended myself but since I am still young, my aunt got the opportunity to turn the table by telling that I am a lier and being disrespectful for answering back. I am not disrespectful, I am just telling the truth to defend myself, but I can't do anything but to be silent at last because I knew that I couldn't win from that nonsense argument.

Even until now, I still do experience to be in a situation where elders have to be respected by means of receiving all their humiliations without answering back. And I know that some of you have experienced/experiencing it too.

Here's another story:

My friend is a hardworking and studious one. She always tries her best to maintain her grades in school by doing her homeworks on time and through reviewing intensively before their exams/quizzes while working on the household chores at their home. But, her mom's mindset isn't the same as hers. Her mom never considered studying as her daughter's main priority and she's forcing my friend to work on their chores rather than doing the pending school works.

One day, my friend was having her online presentation but her mom scolded her for that. Even if she had the proof of studying, her mom still got angry and believed that her daughter was just messing around on her phone. She doesn't care about her daughter's studies but my friend prioritize it that's why she answered back to defend herself. She defended herself but still got slapped for being called as disrespectful. I'm glad that her dad settled everything in the end and my friend is now in a good condition, I guess.

This was based on my friend's story when she opened up with me about it months ago. We are just neighbors and I heard everything, so I know that she hasn't fabricated a story just to stained her mom's image. As much as I want to defend her too during that time, my parents asked me to never meddle with it because it's their family's problem and I will just drag myself into trouble if I did. I am glad that she's fine now, and her mom realized her mistakes.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Being respectful is such a great act and everyone must know how to show it to maintain good relationship with each other.

Respect should be given equally regardless of age and state in life.

It doesn't mean that if you are older than others then you can disrespect anyone but still demand for it. Be objective and never be selfish with everyone's feelings. Know the other's side first before concluding. Everyone has a reason for doing such act. Hear their reasons and never judge them easily as being disrespectful.

As for the young ones, always show respect to anyone around you and if ever that you get caught in an argument with elders, try to explain in a calm voice and never shout at them. You can defend yourself as long as you are on the right track, but if you know that you really did something wrong then apologize to them and ask for their forgiveness. I know that it's not as easy as that, but let me remind you that harsh ways will never be a solution in any problems (someone will get hurt if you did). Settle a problem in a good and calm way, because that's the right approach.

Show respect whether you are young or old, but being called disrespectful for telling the truth is always been wrong.

Author's Note:

Date Published: August 5, 2021

Lead Image: Originally created by me using Canva