We all have fears, but not all of us can face it. Some are brave enough to conquer something they are afraid of, even if their hearts are pounding hard at first. But some can't even stand in front of someone or something simply because they are not brave enough to face their fears.
We people have different kinds of fear, that's because we are not the same in some ways. There's something that I am afraid of, but not to others. But there are things I am capable of facing without fears, but others can't even look forward to those things.
In this article, I will sum up the fears that most people are having a hard time to face. These fears doesn't talk about those phobias accompanied by a certain physical thing, but rather talk about the common fears we can feel in different circumstances in life.
Most of us are always aiming for perfection that's because we are afraid of getting humiliated. We don't want others throwing insults towards us, and we don't want to cry from embarrassment. Who would have thought that there are some people who are not afraid of this anymore? Those are people who already accepted that life is full of imperfections and that it's okay to commit mistakes sometimes even if others may not be happy with it. Those are people who are already used to such embarrassments and they are not afraid of it anymore.
How about you? Are you afraid of getting embarrassed too?
That feeling when we can't say something we want to and we can't do what we want to do just because we are afraid of getting rejected by someone. It's like we can't act freely and we always seek validations from someone if what we're doing is acceptable for them or not. But honestly, we should train ourselves not to fear with this thing anymore. I know, it's not that easy, but we can practice it slowly, right? We should be brave enough to face someone with full conviction, no matter how scary it is to be rejected by them whom we are valuing the most. But, sometimes there's an exception as well. If we know that what we're doing is wrong and we will easily rejected by someone, might as well change that behavior into positive so that there won't be any problems at all. But, if what we're doing is right, we shouldn't be afraid if someone disagreed with us. If they rejected us even if we are doing good, then it's not our problem anymore, it's theirs.
So now, are you still afraid of getting rejected?
Some are happy to live a dynamic life, but some are afraid of experiencing changes once in a while. Change is inevitable and inescapable. We can't do anything about it because it is the result of our own choices or the changing world itself. No matter how we take care of something, there will come a time that it will be gone and the change will come. Nothing's permanent in this world, I know we are all familiar with that saying. Nothing lasts forever except true love. Don't be afraid of change, and just accept it. Great things will come, in God's will.
Are you also afraid of change?
In relation to the previous fears I've mentioned, nothing's permanent in this world, and there will come a time that the people we are expecting to stay with us forever will leave us alone. As early as now, we should prepare ourselves to be happy with our own, and don't depend too much on other people. I know, being with someone we love is irreplaceable. No matter how we distance ourselves from them, we will still long for their existence. But, being genuinely happy independently is priceless. That feeling wherein even if we are alone inside our room, we can still be happy and comfortable with our own. My introverted self is not afraid of this anymore. I can make myself smile even if I am sitting alone in a room with no friends at all. Even if I am being left alone at home especially if my family members will have to attend important matters, I can still be happy by just watching dramas, reading a book, or writing stories.
How about you? Are you afraid of being left alone?
Just like changes, criticisms are inescapable as well. Even if we did something impeccable, there are people who will still point out what's wrong with our works. No matter what personality we have, we can still receive insults or criticisms. But others can't handle criticisms very well because they are afraid of it in the first place. They refrain from showing their real self and put the mask on to cover up their flaws. But, honestly speaking, no matter what we do, no matter what attitude or behavior we show, we can still be thrown by criticisms from random people, so might as well face them with overflowing confidence. Not everyone will be pleased by who we are as a person, but if we really love ourselves and have a positive mindset, we can turn those criticims to motivation.
So now, are you afraid of being criticized?
Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is feeling the fear, the doubt, the insecurity, and deciding that something else is more important. And then doing it.
~Mark Manson (The Hidden Costs of Happiness)
Just like what Mark Manson said, being brave doesn't mean that we are not afraid of something or someone anymore. It means that, even if we have fears in our hearts, we still have enough bravery to face it no matter what. Even with the doubts and insecurities that are clouding our thoughts, let those fade away by the confidence we wear.
There are million reasons we can consider to not be afraid of something, so if ever that you can't find those, why not create it yourself.
Feel the fear but not to the extent that we will lose the confidence to face it. Feel it in a sense that we are slowly gaining confidence to conquer everything we are afraid of. If we will leave in fear, nothing will happen, and opportunities will be gone. We shouldn't lose the grip from all the chances we are already grasping, just because we are afraid to go on. Although the fear is still there, wear the confidence that will help us to remove those fears in our system.
Even though it's not an instant process and requires a lot of time to do, slowly we will just smile someday because the fears we experienced before made us stronger than ever.