Everyday, it's very essential for us to communicate with everyone around us especially if we want to build connections, to share and gain information, or to just lighten up our mood.
Communication is one of the things that we really need to survive. It may not belong to the physiological needs of Maslow's Hierarchy, but then we can't deny the fact that we really have to deal with it from time to time.
But, communicating is not always that easy. It may sound as a piece of cake but to be honest, it's not. Yes, it became natural for us to talk everytime, but then establishing a good conversation without getting lost can give as a hard time.
Let's take it this way for further explanation.
Have you ever experienced talking to someone wherein you already fed them with bunch of stories but it seems like they've lost the thread of what you're saying?
Maybe they wasn't interested enough with whatever you're talking about or they can't understand even a single word about it, but since they don't want to disappoint you they just keep on listening or let's just say merely hearing what's coming out in your mouth.
On the other hand, if you are in their situation, what will you feel when you can't keep up with the conversation?
For me, I felt bad whenever I'm talking with someone and can't understand what they're saying. It seems like I am too slow and doesn't have high IQ to get through the conversation. I am so disappointed with myself everytime my friend asked me about my opinion about the topic she told me a few minutes ago and I can't come up with an appropriate response.
With that, I decided to read some articles and books, and luckily I've found Jake Amorelli's article entitled "How to explain anything to anyone: 4 steps to clearer communication" which was also based from TED’s “How to Be a Better Human” series with Dominic Walliman.
In that article, Walliman explained about the common scenarios that a two participants in a conversation may experience. And, in that moment, he came up with a conclusion that everyone of us can explain anything to anyone as long as we follow the right steps.
"Everyone’s got a different background, everyone’s got a different set of knowledge, and it’s our job to explain the information in terms that they already understand," says Walliman.
We do not have similar background and knowledge that's why we can't always make sure that every topic we have in a conversation can understand by our listener. It's better to ask them first if they are familiar with what we are about to tell them or if it is really necessary to talk about that topic then better explain it to them in a way they can understand. Don't use too much technical or deep words, because they might just end up asking questions continuously or they will get bored easily and decided to not comprehend everything you say.
“It’s better to explain, say, three things that someone will understand … rather than barrage them with a whole load of information that kind of undoes all of your good work to begin with,” Walliman says.
Yes, it's possible for us to learn everything because we have the ability to do so, but then our mind has its limit as well in such a way that we can't be able to absorb too much information at a time. So whenever you're talking to someone, better talk to them in a brief and concise manner and don't talk to much with bunch of unnecessary information. Just speak what they should have to learn about and explain it to them without any segways.
“It’s better to come up with a simpler explanation that maybe isn’t completely technically correct but it gets the point across,” Walliman says.
Sometimes, it's better to get things clear rather than explaining it in a technical yet accurate way, but your listener can't even understand every bit of what you're saying. If you want them to understand you especially when you're explaining something deep, it's better to establish first a basic understanding such as using analogy which could not be technically correct but can lead to a clearer picture. And if ever they want to dig deeper to the concept you've introduced to them then that's the time to explain everything in a more accurate way, but always make sure that they can still absorb everything without them being left behind in the conversation.
“If you’re taking the time to explain something to someone, there’s probably a reason you’re doing it — either you think it’s super-important or very, very interesting,” says Walliman.
If you want your listener to not get lost with the thread you established, it is advisable to explain everything in a more interesting way and tell them about how cool your topic is. Better provide them with some examples about how relevant your subject is even in real life situation and what are the benefits they can get by knowing it. With that, they will pay attention more with your words because they know that by being knowledgeable with it, it can save them from being in trouble in the future.
Communication is way more clearer when the speaker knows about the different ways on how to make their listener stay with them throughout the conversation. It's not always about how you will discuss everything in a more accurate way, but on how you will speak in clarity. Discuss everything directly and avoid many segways because your listener may not absorb it all. Make it more fun and interesting as well and not be too serious in a sense that your listener's mind will start to fly for being bored.
I know, you don't want to disappoint your listener, so if you want to catch more of their attention and develop a clearer communication then this article will help you to reach your goal. But, if you want to know more about this topic, you can also search similar topic with this one and find some important explanation that may essentially help you to communicate clearly with everyone.
Speak with an objective of being understood, and not just to boost how knowledgeable you are with your words.