The right time to Give Up

THE RIGHT TIME TO GIVE UP

For me, the month of May has been a period of learning, unlearning and relearning. May 2021 holds a significant position in my history because it marks the period when I gave extreme criticism to certain principles in my life.

Since 2019, I have been an ardent preacher of the gospel of tenacity and persistence. I have always cringed each time someone used the phrase "give up" to describe a decision they took. I believed that there was nothing in this world that was not worth pursuing, as long as the right mindset was employed.

Things, however, took a different turn when I started reflecting deeply on all my values. I began to read books in a bid to find clarity and precision, to ensure that whatever belief I decided to keep will be worth keeping.

In the course of this journey, I have come to realize that there are times when it will be suicidal to keep pressing for a dream. I realized that four factors will make it logical for a man to give up on his dream.

You will know that it is time to give up on a dream:

WHEN YOUR DREAMS DEMAND YOUR VALUES AS A COST PRICE

While reading John Maxwell's "Put Your Dream To The Test", it dawned on me that there are certain costs that are just too high a price for your dreams.

Any vision or dream that forces you to compromise your value system isn't worth pursuing. This is not talking about your religious affiliations, as we are usually quick to confuse our value system with our religious inclination.

When you calculate the cost of birthing your vision and you realize that it has placed a demand on your integrity, honesty, faithfulness and other values, it is a sign for you to give up on such a dream.

WHEN YOUR DREAM PLACES AN UNREASONABLE DEMAND ON YOUR HEALTH

While it is true that pursuing success may cause you to stretch, it is important to know that there are certain points when your health should not be stretched any further.

A vision that places unnecessary strain on your health or requires you to neglect your health, without room for compromise is not worth pursuing. Your health should never be sacrificed on the altar of achievements because only a healthy man has the potential to see a dream to fulfilment.

If it demands your health, it is no longer a race for fulfilment but a race laced with over-ambition.

WHEN YOUR DREAMS REQUIRES YOU TO REMAIN IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP

Toxic relationships, no matter how they are painted, have no good to offer. They are channels through which energy is replaced with strands of frustration and bitterness.

You will be making the right choice by giving up on a dream if it forces you to remain in a toxic relationship if its success is hinged on your "enduring" a toxic marriage or friendship.

You should not be controlled by your goals, but be guided by them. So, when the alarm goes off on your dream and the source is an uncompromisingly toxic relationship, you just have to brace yourself, lay down your cards and walk away. Why? Because the success of your dream is largely dependent on your mental and emotional stability.

WHEN YOUR DREAM ALIENATES YOUR FAMILY FROM YOU

My family is the only group of people that is worthy of a compromise. This may sound biased, but it is the truth.

Believe it or not, there is a level of compromise that we can reach when it comes to our families. Except yours is a disintegrated or loveless one, every one of us has bent the rules for family's sake at one point or the other.

In pursuing your dreams, you must take care that such dreams do not completely detach you from your family. Yes, there are times when it would seem like we have to choose to distance ourselves from them. But in the actual sense, it is all for the greater good.

Before you decide to head out on that path, calculate how much of your attention to your family it would cost. If such a dream will force you to become a stranger to them or to create a gulf between you and your family, you might need a second thought.

Note this...

Our dreams will naturally pull us out of our comfort zone, so it is normal for it to seem as if it is going against these four criteria.

This is why each dream must be subjected to extreme scrutiny. In cases where you can wing things around (except for #1!), I believe it is normal.

However, we must be honest enough to pull the restraints when the price becomes too high because, in the end, it is not just about birthing the dream. What matters is living the dream.

Till I write you again.

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