Grief Never Dies

Grief changes form, but it never really goes away.

It stays with you and sometimes might even go unnoticed most of the days.

But then one fine day, it resurfaces,

like a photo rusting in an old closet,

a red rose left untouched and unloved in an old diary,

an almost forgotten fragrance in the air;

and sometimes a familiar ache in the heart.

And then it takes you back to places

you thought you forgot the address to,

to memories that don't seem to make sense any more,

to emotions that had become numb over time, to all those parts of you that you had deliberately left behind on the street.

And all of it, every bit of it, seems to be coming back to life in some corner of your heart, mixing with your blood,

and flowing through your veins with each heartbeat.

You wonder why suddenly every beat becomes difficult,

every breath heavy,

why living becomes a burden again,

and the air dense, almost irrespirable.

It is the memories, the moments,

the rusting old memoirs of pain and sadness, and the attenuated emotions,

all of which you had packed and wrapped in the deepest closets of your heart,

making their way into your being, to the heartbeats, to every breath, to your skin,

and reaching out to the outside air to come to life, one more time;

Though weaker and gentle, and a little subtle this time

But Alive,

Living,

Beating,

Breathing;

Within you and around you to make

every beat a little harder,

every breath a little heavier,

every wrong possibility a little more possible, everyone thought a little more significant,

and every good feeling a little more absurd.

.

It is hard for the heart to go on with so much baggage to be pumped out.

And even worse to receive it all again and let it settle, and hide it even deeper this time.

.

And then Grief never dies.

It just changes form.

My little span of brooding:

When I open the window the warm rays of the sun salute me because these rays anxiously waiting for me because I sit beside the window with a cup of tea and daily newspaper with a novel of life and start to think about what I did which I should not have done but that time my pensive mode with help of nature finds out ideas and warmness of sunrays accelerates my energy by warming up my mind, and at the end when I take the last sip of tea the idea comes in my mind then I stand and greet the warm rays which helped me out to think which I could not do under the restless world where every problem starts from money and ends at money how my mind can knit an idea but thanks nature as it all my fatigue of the week has vanished and I feel myself relax.

Balloon

When you give respect to someone out of the way he feels proud being a special person and when you raise your speed of respect a kind of air of arrogance works like a balloon that fills his insane mind and you continue your natural habit to give respect, you notice some unnatural things, give you disrespect because it is your natural style to deal the affairs of life but the other side miscalculates it and does some wrong which presents his true picture before the others who follow him as an ideal, then all his arrogance and mask of superiority reveals, and all his artificial air which you pumped in his mind releases and he falls on the ground, it is not your fault but you must change your style because every person can not bear the pressure of respect.

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