If the time could be turned back

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3 years ago

The waves hit the coral and then broke into a whitish froth like pearls. The sense of uncertainty is the same as the foam of the waves, which scatter all over the place as soon as they hit the waves. As the wind continued to blow, the seagulls flew here and there into a painting of the sky that began to appear orange in color, forming a formation that often changed and then disappeared in the east which is this land. And when it comes back to fill the sky, it continues to float around.

Totally beyond my mind, all became broken for me, scattered and as difficult to put together to put back together.

The pier remains the same. And looks already there, maybe it's been cursing. Afraid. Worried and trembling to wake me up. What is she like and how is she now? Will, she was not mad at me? Ah, suddenly I felt like the dumbest human this afternoon.

Trying to spend days with him. After a brief introduction and somehow an unnamed time for us to remember, I don't have to agree to spend the night sometimes. I felt comfortable knowing her and unfortunately, she didn't feel comfortable with my presence. Since that feeling arose despite the power to tear the veil on me every night, disturb my sleep, feel madness about what I cannot explain in words, and can only make me smile the moments of remembering it. But I regret it if that feeling didn't come, maybe it would be fine right now.

Unfortunately, I never felt empowered by that feeling. When longing for her in every pulse. The moment was so hopeful, even though the reality could meet him. Ah, if that feeling didn't come it wouldn't bother me and her. And at least I'm not the one who teases and becomes hatred for her. If there were no introductions, maybe things would be better no more confusing thoughts.

I should have known about this existence first so as not to spoil things. Should be aware there is a gap between me and her. The distance that she and I ignored as a limit in the early days of identity, which even though I tried many times to kill this feeling at all costs, still kept coming back even though I realized this only caused harm to me. I should have remembered myself where before I knew she's better without having to have closeness to her.

Everything feels so fast and flows without being based on only turning into a comfort-destroying value that is owned for me maybe for him too. I thought why it was so easy for her to say it when it should have been. Perched as the only figure I desperately want to be able to hold me to the twilight. Is it possible? it should have been in my mind at first. If the time could be turned back it wouldn't be like this. Unacceptability, of course, of my own stupid attitude. A night that leads to getting lost in the morning. So that all of that no time is wasted. She used to be so free, but everything has changed, now there is no joy flowing like before. Everything should be thought out beforehand. Look at the only loss that has happened to her.

My thoughts were divided. shaking. Do not understand what to do. And this afternoon I have to meet her again. I shouldn't be creating this feeling anymore. The dead pier that saw my longing die should be realized by me. Because this only brings back memories of the past cutting me up bleeding from old wounds. Although, the shadows on her face, her traces, and her scent were bewitching and made my feet move to keep going again to start. This is a feeling of idiocy, doesn't it just make the flowers bloom on my chest. Like the first time knowing her. I think at least this is my life and maybe she's life will be much more colorful than now. Should have had this option in the past so that nothing happens and no one is disturbed by the day. If the time could be turned back not If could be turned back the time.

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