We have all experienced the feeling of sitting in a history class, bored to no end while a teacher tries desperately to get us interested in a pivotal event that happened a century ago. Nodding our heads along, pretending that we aren't pondering over what will be served for lunch, or imagining the adventures that may occur with the upcoming weekend. In short, being anywhere but the present. In those seemingly dismissive moments of our lives, no matter how far into the imagination we ventured, could we have ever dreamed of living through a historic event of our very own?
It may not be as morbid as the Black Plague or the spread of influenza but, as I sit here, watching the Covid-19 quarantine lockdown continually lengthen, I have come to the realisation that this is its own nightmare. Want to hang out with some mates? You can't, we're on lockdown. Want to go out and earn a small income? You can't, we're on lockdown. Want to go on a simple walk and enjoy the local scenery? You can't, because there is the large possibility of catching a virus that is becoming wildly known as a killer. This experience has felt as though we are animals in a zoo, and Corona Virus is the zookeeper with the tranquilizer gun, keeping us encaged. All those Sunday afternoons I spent begging to any higher power that the weekend would miraculously last forever, have finally come back to haunt me.
It has been well over a month of precautionary quarantine, and my mind has managed to numb itself enough to be entertained by the smallest of occurrences. You see, quarantine is difficult enough not being able leave the house (or apartment), but try doing this with no television, frustratingly slow WiFi, and a broken washing machine. This is the concoction of events that is responsible for several daily mental breakdowns. Now, I am aware, being from South Africa, that I am much more privledged with the given circumstances than many people out there that are grateful for at least having a roof over their heads. This thought alone makes me try to be grateful for everything that I do have, and not focus on everything that I do not. However, when you are sitting with a bucket of water and soap, washing the clothes that you have worn for the last 3 days because you don't want heaps of washing to get through every week, not even being able to listen to music because your connection is terrible, the positives seem like a far fetched pile of hopes hiding in the back of your mind.
The worst part of this experience is the false hopes that you feed yourself in the beginning. You tell yourself you will be productive in lockdown: do some exercise, teach yourself new crafts and hobbies, start up old crafts and hobbies, fill your days with meaning and plans. However, as the days pass and the end seems further and further out of reach, we all end up filling our days with the same sources: food, sleep and Netflix. Some may add the extra flavours of social media, Youtube, and possibly the odd conversations with the outside world over Zoom or Skype. All in all, there's not much we can do but sit and wait for this to be over , and start our lives with more appreciation than before, enjoying the consistency of a busy day. Am I the only person who has motioned along a forever switching rollercoaster of being productive and being a couch potato? My motivations seem to be lacking the consistency that one needs in order to be fully productive on a daily basis.
With that being said, I have decided that I shan't focus on the plans of the present, but rather my intentions for the future. As I am currently taking a gap year, (great timing, right?) I have decided that the rest of the year will be spent preparing and executing an independent, solo travel adventure. I have become sick of staying at home, going through the daily motions of life. I want to work, explore the beautiful country that I live in with my very own, well earned money. I want to feel the uncertainty of experience, and the adrenaline that comes with being on your own and no one there to fix it when you slip up. I have realised that I thrive on the unknown, and being locked up, at home all day, is filled with nothing but the known. Quarantine has given me enough relaxation time to fully commit to a plan for the future, one can only sit at home for so long, after all.
As we live through this period, a time that will be taught to future children who will ask us how we survived it, how we endured it, we must create memories so we can tell them about the hardships that were faced, the longest and shortest months of our lives, but also the adventures we created and the innovations that it created within us. Quarantine may be hell, but it will be one hell of a story to tell.
🤗 actually history, literature and English language were my best in highschool