How I fall into a deep hole
I'm telling you, there will be the most heartbreaking moments of your life. You will find yourself wanting to go home amidst the day even though you're working just because you want to breakdown.
You will find your cup of coffee getting cold beside your plate because you got lost with your thoughts, knowing it's your own way of escaping from reality for a while. You will find the love songs sound bitter and it's okay if you don't listen to them for a while.
You will find romantic movies as a bunch of lies and it will take time before you probably get in the loop again when it comes to romance and that's okay. You will find the silence of the nights as a sign to reminisce those memories and later on, your tears will surely flow like a flood, kissing your pillows, and it will break you once again. You will find yourself in doubts if you're really capable of loving, asking what went wrong and why you weren't enough, and dear, it will make you pick up your pieces without anyone behind your back.
But I'm telling you, there will be the perfect morning where you'll wake up and the pains already go away. There will be a perfect afternoon where the thought of him won't bother you anymore and it will feel so right.
There will be a night where you'll realize you're being too much on yourself and that's when the time that you'll decide to love yourself more. You will soon find yourself forgiving those who caused you a lot of aches. That broken heart of yours will become whole again, stronger than what it was before. And just like you, you will be stronger, keeping all the experiences and lessons you learned from the past.
You will fall for now. Maybe, you will distance yourself and not let anyone help you. You will not say a thing and will just keep all your feelings with you. You will even laugh even though it hurts. You will smile with the saddest look in your eyes. You will answer you're okay even though you're not. You will pretend like everything's okay. You will guard yourself. You will hide from people.
And that's okay. Take your time. You don't have to say a thing.
Those people who were with you before will still be here today and until the day you get up again.
We'll wait for you.