July 7, 2021

Oh my gosh, it's been 7 days that I wasn't able to write an article. I don't know but I was a lil bit unmotivated and don't have something to write. My mind was blurry and I can't think of things to write. I always look at the screen but my hands and brain won't cooperate. My notification, was bombarded and it only means that I am not active this past few days. I need to catch up things in here.

So, my article is about the eldest child's dream. It is about the unreachable dream of an eldest child because of her own family.

I am fortunate to have everything I want in life. I am fortunate that I able to graduate in college. Everything I ask from my Ate's and Kuya's, they will give it to me. I am spoiled by them and I felt love. I am the youngest of the family. We're eight siblings and I am the only one who graduated a four year course while my siblings took vocational courses. Now, they are working in a company so that we have a food in the table. They also supports our parents needs especially vitamins cause they're getting old.

Looking at my graduation picture, I can say that I already reach my dream and that is to graduate in college. I am now doing my review for the upcoming examination. As I look in the picture in our wall, I saw my siblings picture wearing their white toga and some are black from their vocational courses they've graduated. Though they're already working now, I wasn't able to asked them if what's their dreams in life. Do they also have a dream like me. I look around and they're not here cause they're working in a company around the clock. Though they're not in a higher position, I am still proud of them cause they able to support this family.

One night, Ate Delly came. She's the second child of the family. Our other siblings especially the eldest was yet not around. Ate Delly and Ate Dolly, our eldest wasn't able to continue their studies after their high school but they're still working as a saleslady. I went to Ate Delly while she's sipping coffee. She smile at me as I sit in front of her.

"Do you want coffee, Dalhia?" She asked me.

"No Ate, thanks I'm done already." I replied.

"Oh, I see." She continue sipping her coffee.

"Ate, may I asked a question?"

"Sure."

"I am just wondering, ahm actually, I want to know if what's your dream? We haven't able to talked about it. Actually all of us siblings" I started.

She looked at me and smile. A little silence before she open her mouth.

"You know, my only dream is that we will be complete even we all gets old. My dream is that we're all in this house during holidays like Christmas and birthdays. Ate Dolly went to Manila to work as a saleslady after her graduation in high school, same with her I done it also. We need to do it to help Mama and Papa cause you know, we're so many. You were little that time. We're both glad that we able to support your studies. From your Kuya and you. We're happy for our family of what we have now." She said and stood up. She put the cup on the sink and walk inside after she smiled at me.

I want to say something but I am not able to speak. She didn't answer my question but I know what she mean. I know what they've done for us to continue our studies. I know how they manage to make money for us to survive everyday. I know how much they sacrifice for our family but I really don't know what's their dream. Now that I asked, I think she don't like to talk what it is. Maybe she just want to forget it. I know they're happy for us. I saw how proud they were during my graduation. And I am proud of them too.

Looking at my Ate Delly, I felt pity to her and to Ate Dolly. They sacrifice their dreams for us their siblings. I can't blame my parents though cause I understand their situation. But looking at her, I know she have a dream but she kept it inside. I'm sorry Ate. I'm sorry that you sacrificed your dreams because of us.

Closing Thoughts

In our tradition and norms, sometimes I don't like it really. I don't agree and for me it should be stopped. Why do some eldest child suffer because of parents decisions and choices in life? Though not all parents were like that but still, we can't deny the fact that many parents were not ready with their obligations. They tend to pass their responsibility to their children once they grow up. What's their purpose of having a child? As a parent, they should know that their responsibility has no ending and no day offs. They should know that there's no retirement on it that once you're tired, you're going to pass it on your children.

I've known someone who did it. A parent who doesn't know how to do his responsibility. Why did he have children after all if he can't able to do his responsibility right? I felt pity for the children.

The burden is always passed to the eldest. Sometimes the eldest dreams died because he/she will sacrifice for his/her siblings. I am not saying that eldest should not done that cause it's his/her choice to do. It's not his/her obligations.

That's why, if you're not ready to have a big responsibility, you should not have children. Much better, if you already have regular work or if not, you are willing to work for your family. As a parent, it's better to have children if your status is already stable. Why? So that your children will not suffer from your choices. Always think of the consequences.