Sadness, Frustration
Through this pandemic, I know and I understand that many people has lost a lot. Just like other people, I too lost a lot. It's not only about the material things that I lost but I lost everything I have. The last 2 years has been too much for me to handle. After having an open fracture of the tibia and fibula due to falling down on a not so high area, I was in total debt paying for my hospital bills that I neglected going back and forth tot he hospital for my check up and rehabilitation. I was the one who has removed the medical staple on my leg since, I can't get a hold of the doctor. Soon after probably my strong will, I started to walk. though I can't walk or run as do before, slow walking is okay; however, it has made me more frustrated in life. I can no longer carry heavy things due to fear of tearing my leg that was only attached by a stainless steel. I can no longer do all the things I used to do, hiking, running, and everything. The accident has made me a total freak that I almost don't want to get out of the house.
AS of these days, I am still in the midst of paying all the debts I have but these has affect my family so much. I am the bread winner of my family and because of the debt due to the accident, I had to give 70% of my income to all my debtors. the remaining 30%, I had to spend it for our utility bills, food and others. was it enough? No, it was not enough. It has been so tough that in at this point and time, I have been thinking of taking my own life.
However, I am thinking of my kids. I have 3 lovely kids. I can't take the risk and entrust them to other people. Behind these suffering, I asked help from many friends. It made me so happy that they were willing to help.
As for my relatives, well yes, they helped... they helped and after that they started to ask me to pay them back. The problem is... where am I going to get the money to pay them all back... Again this made me fall into depression. I already don't know what to do. I already don't know how to start. I am so tired. .. so tired ... I feel like I am fading away.
IN the past 2 days, I feel like I am suffocated. I can't breathe... and I wished I would really stop breathing....
IS there someone out there?
I need help...
Physically, mentally, emotionally finacially...
Sadness, Frustration
Through this pandemic, I know and I understand that many people has lost a lot. Just like other people, I too lost a lot. It's not only about the material things that I lost but I lost everything I have. The last 2 years has been too much for me to handle. After having an open fracture of the tibia and fibula due to falling down on a not so high area, I was in total debt paying for my hospital bills that I neglected going back and forth tot he hospital for my check up and rehabilitation. I was the one who has removed the medical staple on my leg since, I can't get a hold of the doctor. Soon after probably my strong will, I started to walk. though I can't walk or run as do before, slow walking is okay; however, it has made me more frustrated in life. I can no longer carry heavy things due to fear of tearing my leg that was only attached by a stainless steel. I can no longer do all the things I used to do, hiking, running, and everything. The accident has made me a total freak that I almost don't want to get out of the house.
AS of these days, I am still in the midst of paying all the debts I have but these has affect my family so much. I am the bread winner of my family and because of the debt due to the accident, I had to give 70% of my income to all my debtors. the remaining 30%, I had to spend it for our utility bills, food and others. was it enough? No, it was not enough. It has been so tough that in at this point and time, I have been thinking of taking my own life.
However, I am thinking of my kids. I have 3 lovely kids. I can't take the risk and entrust them to other people. Behind these suffering, I asked help from many friends. It made me so happy that they were willing to help.
As for my relatives, well yes, they helped... they helped and after that they started to ask me to pay them back. The problem is... where am I going to get the money to pay them all back... Again this made me fall into depression. I already don't know what to do. I already don't know how to start. I am so tired. .. so tired ... I feel like I am fading away.
IN the past 2 days, I feel like I am suffocated. I can't breathe... and I wished I would really stop breathing....
IS there someone out there?
I need help... Physically, mentally, emotionally finacially...