Almost giving up

June 15, 2023

Giving up is not an option!

Mostly we here those words from our friends, family or even with ourseleves when we are giving advice with others, but when it comes to ourselves we can't deny the fact that we almost giving up also.

Last week, I was really exhausted about my family situation, I miss the old times that even I am far from them I know that they are happy and have each others back thru thick and thin.

But lately the alter side was happening, my family were like dispersed and leaving the life on thier own, our family group chat was very inactive, the problems are keep coming and I feel like I am the most responsible of bring them back together to be as family again, but I dony know how to do it since I am far from them and we are struggling financially too.

This type of situations triggers my depression, since I have no one to talk too and share what I have in my heart and mind, and I cant control myself and Adrielle is the one who suffers my anger.

I am very sorry for her because I know she dont deserve it but I cant control, and just this last saturday, I receive another message about my family that something was happening again, and of course Adrielle was just a kid with naughtiness and just to divert my depression, I leave her playing alone and I stayed in our comfort room, I let my emotion comes out while doing our laundry, I was crying and talking to myself what was happening and I am thinking of leaving Adrielle alone with her father because I want a peace of mind even just for a couple of days, but when I was thinking what will happen to Adrielle if I do that maybe she will keep of crying all day looking for me, and that time my inner self awaken, and asking myself why I need to do it with Adrielle, she knew nothing and yet she will need to suffer, and after that, I talk to her and hug her tight.

Depression is not really easy if you have a weak mind and always pretend to be ok infront of everyone, sometimes letting go of our emotions is really a great help to lossen up the burden in our hearts, my experience weeks ago is the hardest feeling that I have to fight, between mental and physical and I am thankful that I overcome it with the help of myself also.

Everyone of us have different struggles in life, some maybe easy and others maybe hard, I just hope we knew how to fight those struggles and remain standing despites the hardship we encounter.

Sometimes, its ok to ask someone if he/she is okay, coz others are just pretending to be okay but deep inside they are looking for someone to open up what are they going through about life.