An Apology To Me: A Poem from My Heart; Part One.

"She is Absolute, she is real, she understands me more than everyone, she considers me a friend, she likes being friends with all my friends, we talk for hours and yet she can find any connection between us. She does all she can to look good and be cool around me but never shows it, she is funny, she laughs and put on a smile all the time, even when she is not happy, she looks serious when around people but very jovial and fun when alone.

I consider myself lucky to have her even when she is not mind, it pains having to think she is with someone, not that am perfect or anything, I want to love her more than all. I want to tell her how I feel and not just say it but to show it too. She is perfect, she is real, she is Absolute.

I consider her everything for me, I consider giving up on such kind of feelings but everytime you see or hear her voice you are back to the beginning to where I all started.

Heartbreak hurts,

Heartbreak is painful,

Heartbreak kill your whole being,

Heartbreak poisons your being,

Heartbreak consumes you whole,

Heartbreak stresses you.

I apologise for hurting you

I apologise for making you feel the pain

I apologise for killing your whole being

I apologise for stressing you

I apologise for poisoning us

I apologise for ever being there for us when we needed you

I apologise for not adhering to you warnings

I apologise for being blind

I don't regret falling for her, I can't regret falling for her, I won't regret falling for. Is it an obsession, because my life is more of a compliment, I am right there but still feels like am not seen by anyone, most especially her. I am a compliment, am just there to help others feel good about themselves and make them come up when down, but no one is there to help me feel good about myself and get me up when am down. Am really a compliment, yes I am and I am In love with myself sometimes. So I apologise to me for feeling this way and when I ever I feel sad or happy I apologise for that too.

Because my life is a shallow,

I apologise to my past self

I apologise to my present self

I apologise to my future.

I will still hurt you, I will still poison you, I will still let Heartbreak consumes and stresses you, I will still let us fall for her over again and I will continue apologising to us until I learn the lesson because you have learned the lesson already.

So keep warning ⚠️, keep giving me signs and telling my conscious self to stop the sharade and just move on and never try looking back, because when you look back she is right there and you will go back to the beginning where it all started, where you fell in love with her and it still remains as gold in you mind because you think of it over and over to yourself to to make you feel good and makes you think you are in love.

So, Yes I Apologise for everything and all and all that are yet to be done and met by us, but most especially by me"

It really Hurts when you can't tell that one person how crazy you are about them, and more stupid when you can't do anything about it.

Thanks for reading. This is a Poem written by Me, and is more of an apology to my conscious self, is me apologising to me 😀😅

All the pictures were taken by me and are coming from my gallery.