In recent years, numerous studies have been aimed at evaluating the various home factors that influence the child's attitudes and behavior, Results have shown that the influence of home situations and family relationships is far greater than was originally believed. While no attempt will be made here to discuss the factors in the order of their importance, as complete a survey as possible will be made. It will become apparent that the deterioration of family relationships is not due to one factor alone but to many and that most, if not all, of these factors are controllable.
PARENTAL ATTITUDES
Parental attitudes influence the way parents treat their child, and their treatment of him, in turn, influences his attitude toward them. Fundamentally, therefore, the parent-child relationship is dependent upon the parents' attitudes. And as was stressed earlier, many parental attitudes are formed before the child is born. Many are romanticized; they are based on what parents would like their children to be.
Parental attitudes are influenced partly by cultural values, partly by the personality pat terns of the parents, and partly by their concepts of the role of parents.
Cultural Values. Around the turn of the century, Freud contended that too much "parental tenderness" accelerates sexual maturity, "spoils" the child, and makes him unable to be satisfied with a smaller amount of love in later life. This theory was echoed by many American psychologists. The one who sounded the loudest warnings was J. B. Watson, who, during the twenties, advised parents to beware of too much mother love because of the harmful effects it has on the personality development of the child as he grows older.
Now the pendulum has swung to the opposite extreme. It is agreed that mother love and affection are needed for good mental health. Too much, rather than too little, affection should be shown the child, especially during early childhood. One of the strongest exponents of the importance of love in the child's life is Ribble. According to her:
Poor relationship with the parents leads to reactions in the infant which tend to be come the basis of adult personality disorders. The most important asset of the baby as he begins life is two emotionally healthy parents. His deepest need by far is the understanding care of one consistent individual, his mother. Perhaps in time we shall recognize the danger of the emotionally unhealthy personality and shall see that emotional disturbance in the parents is as dangerous as is tuberculosis or syphilis.
This emphasis on the importance of "mothering," on understanding the child and his needs, means that children today receive more affection from their parents than was formerly believed good for them. When this attitude is carried to extremes and is pro longed into adolescence, it is likely to result in a socially and emotionally immature indi vidual who is unfitted to make adjustments to the demands of adult life.
Personality of Parents. Even when a general cultural attitude toward children exists, the attitude of parents toward their children is markedly influenced by their own personality patterns. Attitudes vary from adult to adult and from time to time in the same adult. This inconsistency, or "ambivalence," does not necessarily depend upon the child's behavior, but upon the momentary mood of the parent, his memories of the way he was treated as a child, changes in the pattern of family living brought about by the child, and the value placed upon parenthood by the cultural group.
The parents' attitude toward the child may be a reflection of their own adjustment to life and to marriage. Family happiness and unity arc markedly affected by such factors as husband-wife relationships, in law interference, money problems, and the health and personality characteristics of the parents. The attitude of the parents toward one another has more impact on preschoolers than on older children.
Concept of Parental Role. The attitude of the mother toward motherhood plays an important role in her relationships with her child. When a woman does not want to have a child and tries unsuccessfully to force an abortion, she develops feelings of guilt and resentment toward the child. When a woman is unhappy about her pregnancy, she is likely to experience more emotional tension and nausea than is normal. This tension reaction often persists for many months after the infant is born.
Very often there is a resentment toward the second child, especially if the interval between the arrival of the first and second is short. Most mothers feel guilty about their unfavorable attitudes toward their babies and attempt to compensate by being over indulgent. Frequently, however, the joys of parenthood are enough to bring about a change in maternal attitudes. Parental attitudes are more favorable when the child is wanted. Most adults have a preference for a family of a given size, but they may increase the size of the family in the hope of having a child of a preferred sex. The child thus added may turn out to be unwanted if it is not of the desired sex. The child most likely to be unwanted is the child of an unwed mother. The age of the parents is influential in determining their attitudes toward the child. Young parents are likely to take their pa rental responsibilities lightly, while overage parents are apt to be more nervous and less energetic and thus overprotective and demanding. Should one parent be overage, there may be a clash in interests and values between the parents regarding the child's behavior. The educational level of parents is more important than age. Parents of higher educational levels give their children more freedom than those of lower educational levels.
The age and educational level of parents also affect their feeling of adequacy for the parental role. Parents who are older and better educated generally feel more adequate; this is reflected in a more relaxed, acceptant attitude toward the child. Some parents feel adequate to meet the needs of a child of a given age only. These "age specific" parents have an inflexibility which prevents them from growing along with their children. A mother who "loves" little babies, for example, may have a good relationship with her child during his first years of life, but unless she develops some flexibility, she will be unable to meet his needs as he grows older. The child senses the parent's feeling of inadequacy and reacts unfavorably to it.
