Most people believe your kind of temperament is also a cause of shyness. Shyness is a Destiny killer just in case you don't know. You have no reason of any kind to remain timid.
I don't preach what I don't know so let me start with myself. I was happy when this topic came to me.
Shyness was my number one troubler that I battled for years. It made me miss a lot of opportunities even though I have the charisma and knowledge. I was running away during my service year anytime It was my turn to present on Tv or Radio. I will automatically form sickness and run away od I will really fall sick and then skip. It was a battle.
My boss made me understand that my reading was perfect. But still it was a No no. One day he kept me by his side after practicing he said I wouldn't leave until after the presentation.
You know what he said?
" With courage you will do this presentation. If you want to disgrace yourself go there and do that" I was sweating and feeling cold. I thought about it. This is Tv And this man is right. I don't know who is watching. How can I go there and fall my hand.
I didn't want to disgrace myself and my generation I comported myself and finally I was done. I did it🤷♀️I didn't pee on my body, No one beat me either. I was praised. That was a first encounter and I beat shyness to an extent.
See all you need to do to overcome shyness are;
1. HAVE A RIGHT MINDSET.
Let your mind tell you that you need to do this no matter what it takes. Let your mind be anle to direct. You birth what your mind conceives. If your mind tells you there is no way you can do it then you won't do it.
I had to correct my mindset. I did it in a way that if I tell myself I'm going there, I will go. But if I say I'm not. I stay.
That is what I have conceived in my mind.
You hear people say.
"My mind no carry me" You don't have it in your mind to do it that is why you won't do it.
2. TRY OUT NEW THINGS.
New things can be anything positive. Change your normal routine of passing through one particular route. Change the routine of always staying by yourself locked up in a room. Try to be among people even if you are not talking with them.
This is what I do from school days. I get #200 or at most #500 And I walk into a mall. No appointment with anybody, I will just go by myself. Buy one plastic coke and sit down
You know how busy a Mall is right? People might not be looking at you, just minding their business but because you are shy you will feel that their attention is on you.
Walk into a crowded place. Alone you don't need to take anyone along it's a therapy for you alone. I do this till now to build myself more.
3. POSITIVE AFFIRMATION
When you are always speaking good to yourself, it has a way of pumping strength into you.
I can do this!
I am made for more!
I am talented!
People need to hear my voice!
You just keep the list on and on.
4. PREPARE AHEAD
If you have a program or anything you are assigned to do. Make sure you have practiced it very well at home, It helps.
I don't know if you have tried this. Get a mirror or gather your siblings and start talking. Say whatever you want to say that day. And if you fail, they will laugh and correct you. See if you want to be a leader you have to stand up on your feet and throw away shyness . It doesn't do any good. I wouldn't have come this far.
The moment I signed up for influence, Impact, and income. I had to start building myself. I'm sure you see amazing ladies out there speaking either on Tv or you are seeing her life. And you wish to be like them
Stop wishing. You can be more than them. Your message alone when you begin will announce you.
5. STOP TAKING NOTE OF EVERYTHING
When you are called up to do something after you have prepared and you head straight to the podium you might still be feeling shy.
Listen! Say whatever you have to say. Even when you make a mistake. Let me shock you. Only you know that you have made a mistake. What you have to do is continue and don't pause. It's your over consciousness that makes you shy. Most times no one knows you are shy so when you enter a place.
6. FACE IT
Most times when I walk into some places no one knows I'm shy except my friends or close family are there. I face it. I make sure I don't make it known to them.
You can't be given a microphone and you begin to shake. Hell No! Say whatever you have in your mind. Even if it's for few minutes. And hand over the microphone.
If you have anyone that Is having a program, plead with the person that you either want to be an ucher or a messenger. I don't know but anything that will make you stand in the face of people do it!
If you really want to overcome shyness then you must be violent about it. I hate it!
8. MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE
Don't just walk into a place looking shabbily. My sister dress fine first. Then be there early enough so you can have time to sit, observe, and communicate with some persons. When you dress well, it goes a long way in covering your shyness. Believe it or not.
Then if you are comfortable on heels try it out. Put on your heels and your cloth then walk majestically. It helps in boosting your self esteem. It makes you look like you are the best of all. And of course, you are if you tell yourself that.
9.THINK LIKE YOU ARE TALKING TO YOUR FAMILY AND FRIENDS
You know these people are strangers though but walk up there with the mindset that they are my friends and family. You feel comfortable around them that's why we are using them.
10. LOOK DIRECTLY AT THEIR EYES.
Don't focus on one person. Move your eyes around from one person to another so that they will know you have a tangible message
11.STAY AWAY FROM FRIENDS THAT TALK ANYHOW
I don't know how to fix the caption 😃but I want you to understand. Some friends are not helping you come out of your shell but they are these people that like talking you down. Note only you though it's their attitude. They can embarrass you and themselves anywhere
Not minding how you feel. I had this loud friend in my 100level she knew how I hated noise. But she was always doing it to me. She will say something that would make me shy and not only that I might end up crying. It was as bad as that.
She wasn't helping me but caging me more. The same with most of your friends. They are not helping you. They will always tell you No
We have another type of friend that makes sure you do it yourself without hiding. They won't help you. They will even mention your name to be the head of something. They know you are shy, but they want you to handle the position.
See, you cannot be a leader when you have not been able to lead yourself. If you have a vision, a goal, or a message you will fight so hard to achieve it without nothing stopping you. Tell shyness, leave me alone. Drop it and go and handle it. Listen, you will not be heard or seen until you have decided. As for me, the world must hear my voice and also see me.
12. BE OPEN TO OPPORTUNITIES
The world must know me, they muse hear my every message. They must see me. A few days ago I had a live meeting with a fellow influencer and we are planning something big. I already know my work in the upcoming program. I'm moderating. What do moderators do? I started by asking myself that. Certainly, I will show life and smash it.
Do you know what it means? The better you start standing up to opportunities. It will help you grow on time. It will add influence to you with time
13. PRACTICE IN YOUR MIND
Do you know how to do that? Be talking to yourself inside of you like you have a group of persons or people inside of you.
Most times you will be working and demonstrating. You are not running mad you are fighting shyness. Whatever you have practiced inside of you for a very long time when you are given an opportunity you will display.
Don't wait to be called on first. Start practicing
14. DO COPY AND PASTE.
This is for people who are shy and fighting to break loose. You can cram what you want to say and show up to pour it out. It's easy. This is because you are starting to reduce the pressure.
15. MAKE DO WITH YOUR HANDS
Let your hand move as you are talking. Keep talking, keep moving the hands don't let it stand still. Shy people need to get covered. Like they need covering a lot to be anle to function. If you don't like your hands empty, use your phone. Hold your phone and wave it sometimes. You will feel comfortable.
16. WRITE YOUR POINTS DOWN
Let shyness not consume you and you forget your points. Write it down, while you look you remember
Just getting here and am already grasping something from the previous, am enlighten already and wish to know more......That's the best message you can ever tell.
You are shy but you are smiling it covers the shame you are shaming 😃
I hope with all this simple steps you will overcome shyness in you .
Thanks for reading
Always smile? You cannot trust people who always smile. If you want something you better ask yourself first if you really want it or just think you want it. I doubt you miss chances because of shyness, if you miss them you might be not the right one or didn't prepare. Interviews for example are mainly online these days. Say what needs to be said in your c.v. and add extra info, hobbies, interests included, and do not go for a job that doesn't fit you. Know your limits. Also interesting to figure out is (know yourself) why you are shy (introvert, lack of self-esteem, under certain circumstances only...)