@zyrich
Love is waiting there within your own abundant being. You just have to overcome the fear of it, unshackle it, and trust where it will take you.
@zyrich
Joined 21 August 2020 · 167 posts
To be is all I got to be..
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@zyrich
@zyrich
Anyone Can Love A Rose But It Takes A Great Deal To Love A Leaf. Never Love Who Is Beautiful But Love The One Who Can Make Ur Life Beautiful
@zyrich
Avoid long awkward silences at all costs! Have things planned to say in case this happens.
@zyrich
Here is adventure. Here is romance. Here is mystery. Tropical rivers – silently flowing into the unknown. The unbelievable splendor of exotic flowers … the eerie sound of the jungle … with eyes that are always watching. This is Adventureland.
@zyrich
It is easy to love the people far away. It is not always easy to love those close to us. It is easier to give a cup of rice to relieve hunger than to relieve the loneliness and pain of someone unloved in our own home. Bring love into your home for this is where our love for each other must start.
@zyrich
Happy anniversary to you both; Have a bright and happy day. Your marriage sets an example; It shines in every way. Through time your bond is strong; It lasts through sun and storm; You'll always have your love To keep each other warm. Happy Anniversary.
@zyrich
I love you like crazy, baby ‘Cuz I’d go crazy without you.
@zyrich
Good morning guys
@zyrich
Good morning guys,
@zyrich
What You Can Learn About Love From Your Dog You can learn a lot about love from your dog - after all they are known as man's best friend. The way they give and receive love to you can teach you an awful lot about giving and receiving love to others and can ultimately help you to achieve a loving and lasting relationship with a fellow human being. So just what can you learn about love from your dog? The most powerful way to demonstrate love is through loyalty. This quality in dogs should be the number one priority in humans. Love freely and unconditionally. Dogs don't expect you to live up to unrealistic expectations, they accept you as you are. This should apply in human relationships too. Express your needs clearly. Your dog always lets you know what he needs. Make sure you communicate with your partner and don't expect him to guess what it is you are after. Always greet your partner with enthusiasm. Your dog is always pleased to see you when you get home and will be waiting to greet you with kisses. Make sure you do the same for your partner however long you have been together. Be comfortable in your own skin. Dogs are perfectly happy to be who they are, whether a scruffy mongrel or a well-bred pedigree. You should be too. Holding grudges is pointless. Your dog will soon forgive and forget any cross words or forgotten meals. You should move on as quickly as they do and not harbour resentment. Don't hold on to the leash too tightly. Just as your dog loves the chance to run freely, your partner also needs space and freedom to grow. Don't lose your wild side. Dogs may be domesticated and tamed, but they always keep a bit of their animal instinct which shows up now and again. Don't fall into routines and habits, keep a little spontaneity and surprise your partner sometimes. Conflicts are avoided by boundaries. Dogs mark their territories and protect their space to ward off intruders. Healthy boundaries create healthy relationships for humans too. When you feel happy, don't be afraid to show it. Your dog jumps around, rolls in the grass, runs about and lets you know that he is feeling happy. Why hold back your feelings? There is no greater pleasure than seeing the person you love being joyful. So you see, you can learn about love from your dog. They are not just dumb animals, but can teach us many things about life, love and relationships
@zyrich
Goodnight everyone
@zyrich
Goodnight everyone
@zyrich
Bat wala na akong points?
@zyrich
Relationships Work For As Long As They Work So often I hear scenarios like I keep picking the wrong person over and over again to be in a relationship with. I'm a failure when it comes to relationships. Or, I've had four failed marriages and I'm not going for a fifth. Or, I'm a loser when it comes to relationships. So why bother trying again. How can I be so successful at work and be such a loser when it comes to women? Men? Meetings of adult children from dysfunctional family systems are full of participants that can rattle off and analyze compelling reasons why their numerous relationships don't work out leaving them feeling not good enough, adequate enough, loveable enough or in some way just not worth it. What this does is heighten the shame each already carries and reinforces being defined as a loser and a failure. I remember the great cultural anthropologist Margaret Mead when asked why all her marriages failed responded by saying "I beg your pardon I have had three marriages and None of them was a failure". I don't think that most couples that marry today are mature enough for marriage. I stand by that. At the same time I don't consider any person in a relationship, mature or immature, a failure at relationships. I do believe relationships do change form. They all will and sometimes it means it's time to move on. Anyone who was ever a success at anything just didn't get that way overnight. My career was that of a family therapist. I was in private practice. In a joking way and with a lot of honesty, as well, I often asked clients when they were stuck in judging themselves harshly in regard to relationships, why do you think we in private practice call it a practice? It took years of successes with clients and so-called errors in judgment to be considered a success in my field. It takes perseverance and time to succeed at anything, including relationships. The point being, are you willing to learn and grow and let go of the harsh judgment? Relationships work as long as they work and all relationships change form. Sometimes people stay together as the relationship changes its form and sometimes they part company. When I look back at relationships that I had prior to meeting my husband Tom, I realize that even though when one or the other in the coupleship decided to move on and there was pain, it was the pain or the problem(s) that led up to the pain, that always gave me an opportunity to strengthen my connection for my emotional and spiritual growth. I could have beaten myself up with what a failure I was, as many do, or I could have looked at what my role was and what I could have done better and then decide to change my ways. In one relationship I rationalized not sweating the little stuff to excess. In other words, I simply let too much go that bothered me and what do you suppose happened. Eventually the negative energy that had been building up inside of me began seeping out and it wasn't always pretty when it came out. When my inner pressure cooker really exploded he decided I wasn't for him. That was when I took my first workshop in assertiveness training and learned how to be honest in my relationships so whomever I was with didn't lose their dignity when I had an irritant. Some future relationships appreciated my honesty; some didn't and didn't stay around. That didn't make me a failure or loser. It just meant the one I wanted hadn't shown up yet. I'm a big believer in The Serenity Prayer God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. (other people, places, things) The courage to change the things I can. (me) And, the wisdom to know the difference. You see I believe maturing in a relationship is about having the willingness to take a look at your role when things aren't going well and making the changes you need to make to clean up your side of the street. It's responsible, it's also loving and it's definitely a step forward even if it takes you a lot of tries until you finally get the best outcome. I didn't sweat the small stuff with this particular person for more than a year and for more than a year there were several aspects that worked really well. We had fun and for a year we enjoyed each others company. However, the not so healthy thing that worked for a while, while I dated this man, was what led to the problems that required change. I got to have the illusion, like the words in the song by Billy Joel, "I Love You Just The Way You Are". In the beginning, when we were in the honeymoon stage of our relationship those little irritants seemed like no big deal and I probably swallowed them down with a chocolate chip cookie refusing to be honest even with me. Doing that made me look and feel like such a nice easy-going person that truly led me to believe he was really lucky to have me as his girlfriend. I didn't have to deal with being told "no", becoming a nag, or getting rejected. Neither of us had to learn how to deal with conflict. I denied my own needs and desires to look good in his eyes and mine. In those days I would do whatever I had to do to avoid a conflict. Today, I truly believe what makes or breaks a relationship is how well couples deal with conflict. In today's world a relationship that starts out fun can change form just because each individual has a different idea on where the relationship is to go. He may want to get his career stabilized and she may be ready to say I do and have a baby. If they part ways does this make them failures? I don't think so. A person that stays in a relationship with a blamer, a control freak, a couch potato, an abuser, a bore, or an addict of any kind has their good reason for staying in that relationship too. This is why I say relationships work for as long as they work. Dr. Phil quite often asks his guests when they describe their conflicts in their relationships "how's that working for you? Inevitably they say "not very well" but the truth is something is working well or they would change the form of the relationship. It may be something as simple as they know how bad, "bad" is in the relationship as it is and don't know how bad, "bad" might be if they made a change and change may be more frightening so they stay with familiarity. They may believe they don't deserve better or can't do better and putting up with the way it is feeds that belief. The purpose of all relationships is to learn and grow and sometimes mustering up the courage toward changing our ways can take several attempts and sometimes it may take a while to get started. But you are not a loser if at first you don't see progress. It just means you may have a little more to learn or some belief is in your way that doesn't serve you. The important thing is to not give power to a harsh judgment that shames you and if what you are doing isn't working to your liking and you don't see a way to correct it, you can always find a qualified professional to help you. I'm all for never giving up on loving yourself and asking for help when needed.
@zyrich
How to Get Relationship Advice From a Love Psychic - What a Reading CAN and CANNOT Do Q: Can a psychic tell me if I'm going to find true love? Can a reading tell me if I've found my soulmate? Can a psychic help me get back with my boyfriend? And how accurate are relationship psychics, anyway? Here are a few do's and dont's for psychic relationship readings. Don't take what the intuitive says as LAW. There is always lots of gray in most psychic feelings, and there is no reader who is ever 100 percent right, 100 percent of the time. (and if they tell you they are, it's a good idea to go the other way.) Avoid psychics who talk about casting spells, or casting curses, or who tell you they can perform magic. They can't... and while a good reading can do amazing things for your own insight, information and provide great guidance for what to do next, no legitimate clairvoyant can manipulate the outcome of events at a distance. Do keep an open mind, but DON'T let your brains fall out! I've seen too many people make foolish mistakes when it comes to relationships, and this same thing extends to a reading to fix or salvage that relationship. If it feels too weird or wild, no matter what a psychic tells you to do, use your own common sense and intuitive wisdom to guide you. Do set intentions for what you want to happen with your relationship, or your partner, or your unique situation before even getting on the phone with a relationship psychic. There is something very uniquely powerful, and maybe even completely unexplainable, and aligning your energy, and your intention around an idea that serves the collective good. So if your relationship IS destined to be the "one" or your partner is in fact the person that can give you what you truly need? In my experience, as crazy as it may sound... setting this sort of intention, with passion and purity of spirit, opens up oceans of opportunity that might otherwise close without it. Lastly, DO believe that everything in life happens for a reason, and that you can get great gifts from EVERY experience. (this includes relationships, even the ones that don't always end the way you want them to, or end when you want them to continue) The truth is, everyone in your circle is there for a reason, and serves a divine purpose in the adventure that is your life. This includes every encounter... and if you can truly learn to love, and be grateful for everyone you meet, the universe will lead you in the direction of your destiny, I promise. (and this means for ALL of us, the unconditional love that we are all here to experience)
@zyrich
Good morning guys, I'm back!
@zyrich
When They Tell You They Love You The magic words most ladies want to hear, I love you, you know I love you, and Girl I love you. Well those words may land in your heart or in your stomach depending upon who is saying this and where the relationship has gone are is going. I recall hearing I love you from my now ex-husband as he would leave to go to the Crack house, I would hear I love you as I had to hide my keys in my shoe boxes because I knew he would not look there and if he got the keys I would not be able to get to work. I heard I love you when I went to the mail box and saw a letter from the courts saying he needed to pay child support for the first child he had while we was married. And yes I said the first child there were more L. I heard I love you as I would remind him if he loved us (our 3 kids and I) he would stop doing those things that made us sad, worried and disappointed. So l had to start asking him are you really in love?, because love should not treat you like this the Bible says that love is patient and love is kind, therefore no you don't love this Girl/Woman, Daughter, Wife, and Mother. I knew with all that is in me, that I was in Love with me and because I love me, I had to leave the person who said they loved me for over 18 years of marriage and begin the healing and loving myself process. I had to love my 3 beautiful children enough to remove them from an unhealthy and dysfunctional situation. I remember asking myself, what are you showing/ teaching your daughters. What are you teaching your son? I know that children look at what you do not just what you say. They were my why for improving our situation. I am sharing this so you can love yourself enough to leave, start over or move on if you experience abuse, emotional or physical. You may be reading this and thinking wow it is easier said than done. And I will agree it took me years to leave, I lacked confidence, self-esteem and the belief that I could make it. I had to reach out for help from, family, friends and clergy. I prayed, I cried and I used positive self-talk through affirmations to give me the strength, courage and stamina to make it happen. It was not easy but so necessary to heal and move forward. I adopted a new Love code and I share it with you below. L.O.V.E can mean Loving Over Various Errors or Living Over Victoriously Every day, I chose the latter and I am taking my Pearls back!
@zyrich
Hi good day to all
@zyrich
Be Care-Free In Love But Not Care-Less Love is the ultimate truth When you love someone you don't look at the appearance, caste or creed. You just love that person immensely without expectations. Well, that's what I think because personally I believe that love has no boundaries, no grudges or anything bad that makes us think twice before accepting our prince/princess charming. Express and don't hesitate Don't wait for the other person to make the first move or else you would be waiting for a lifetime until you lose all your teeth. This is really true because I have seen teenagers, adults and even people over fifty who fall in love but never ever say it. Oh dear, why don't you just express yourself to that person? If he/she will refuse it will be least important, because you confessed your true feelings for her/him. That will make you a hero in his/her eyes. Being honest, sincere and unfailing in your approach will definitely win a good place in their hearts for you. Love is a plant Another thing, don't be in a hurry to possess your love. That will only make your ruin the beautiful moments that you plan to have later. Love is like a plant and it needs a careful nurturing. Be slow, steady yet determined to have them in your hearts, because getting mentally closer is more important than having them in your arms. These things apply for both men and women. For teenagers, guys, you have to wait until you get full matured and understand enough the real meaning of spending your life together with your dream boy/girl. I am not saying true love doesn't exist. It does definitely. But you need to realise it. It can happen in a spur of moment, or it can take years after you get married to someone completely different. But, love will happen and it's not an assurance but deep faith and belief. I really think, where there is God there is love, so if you believe in God you will surely believe in love. The Then & Now The modern age is a mixture of mental and physical connection. I am not against anything; you can connect with your soul mate but make sure you recognize it. Not everybody marries the love of their life but you can surely love the one you marry. The important thing is to understand, respect and adore your partner's feelings and their passion. Men and Women, both have that understanding of running a successful marriage. They are educated modern people and they have seen the good and bad of their lives. The scenario was different for the past generation because our parents weren't allowed to be in love at an early age. Their parents chose the bride and groom, and bingo! They were tied to an everlasting knot. I am citing these facts of particular countries which have strong religious beliefs and have some amount of traditional approach in the marriage thing. But please don't worry. Today, the concept has changed and we are allowed to choose our life-partner by our own. The only thing is he/she should be acceptable to our parents and society and should NOT make us regret our decision at a later stage. Just be positive. God is with us, and he will definitely help in embellishing our lives. Good Luck and Bless you people. We often get confused about finding our soulmate and searching for that love which will make our lives a fairy wonderland. But how many times have we thought about creating a life and ambiance that leads to that heaven of perfection?
@zyrich
How To Love, Accept a Gift, And Be Grateful in Life! How to love ' I love you enough to let you be happy in your own way.' Love is not: To retaliate if you are not approved. Love is not: To successfully control your love, to abide by your choices and fancies. Love is: To bring out the best - humane qualities, humility, and humour - in your love. Love is: To live in harmony, with your love, Free in mind, with no compulsions or tension or greed. To love truly after marriage, throughout the life is no joke. It is a tough exercise. There are not many true lovers, in marriage. Yet they prefer to co-exist, for want of better alternative. How to accept a gift I gave a gift to my friend. He thanked me. Later, My friend laughed at my choice with other friends. I overheard it. I was sad. * Even if it was not suitable for my friend, My friend could have accepted it, Expressed thanks, warmth, and kept quiet. He could have disposed off the gift suitably, later. * Or he could have told me directly, Why the gift wasn't appropriate for him. I would have been satisfied. But, He chose to laugh at me with other friends. I felt cut off. It is a routine happening, all around us. Let's not be insensitive to others' feelings. Why do we laugh at others We all, want to feel superior to others. There are two ways: (1) Do something extraordinary. People recognise your distinction, and respect you. It needs hard work, and perseverance. Not so easy! (2) If we can't work hard, and still want to be up in the eyes of society, There is an easy way out! Let's pull down others, Then, relatively speaking, we are upgraded. But, When we laugh with others, at the poor selection of a gift, We lower our image. How to be grateful Let's remember all the good acts and favours of our friends, and relations including the spouse. But we tend to forget, friends' good deeds easily. We do remember for years, smallest negative comments, and actions of others. * A friend helped me. He spent 2-3 days, of his time exclusively for me, He helped me with money, and Guided me on various aspects of settling down in a new job. I thanked him 'That's why we have friends!', I thought. Few days later, I had an informal simple dinner in his house. I expected better food, even for an impromptu guest. How could he do it? I hadn't forgotten it, till date. I will never forget it. This is the base human nature! God help me, and bless me: Never to forget any good deeds done to me by my friends, relatives, including my spouse. And remain grateful towards them, for ever. And help me to forget the non-fulfillment of expectations, amicably.
@zyrich
Grabe naman dalawa na ang nag spam sakin
@zyrich
How Much Do You Really Lover Her? "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her" (Eph 5:25) ***The union of husband and wife is a setting for love at its best. Tender love on one side matches loving obedience on the other. And the grand rule for every husband to make marriage thrive is: Love your wife as Christ loved the Church.*** Two questions arise here: How much do you love your wife, and, how did Christ love the Church? Christ gave everything for the Church, even His life. So then husbands should, if necessary, lay down their lives for their wives: and there is more implied in the words than mere protection and support; for, as Christ gave himself for the Church to save it, so husbands should, by all means in their power, labour to promote the salvation of their wives, and their constant edification in righteousness. Jacob found a woman he loved, and he was ready to do everything for her. In spite of his father-in-law's deception, the dual marriage forced on him, and a tainted future, Jacob was loyal and committed to the love of his life. His heart was set on Rachel and nothing could dislodge him or discourage him. The lover-man Jacob loved and clung to his wife. He was devoted to her. He did not see her problem as hers alone. Their problems and challenges were shared. Note that it was not until Rachel conceived and bare Joseph that Jacob decided to relocate from Haran, away from servitude and a manipulating and deceitful father-in-law. "And it came to pass, when Rachel had born Joseph, that Jacob said unto Laban, Send me away, that I may go unto mine own place, and to my country"(Gen 30:25) Jacob loved Rachel and was totally devoted and committed to her. Are you devoted to your wife, to your spouse? Do you tell your wife to mind her troublesome children even though you fathered them? Do you leave your wife to bear her burdens alone? Does what pinches her touch you? Are you lovers in bed and on the dining table, but are strangers in tackling her personal problems? Do you help your wife do menial household chores or other things when she is genuinely tired, ill or temporarily incapacitated? Are you a helper of your help-mate? Many husbands are quick to demand submission form their wives and shout them down. But God says, "Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them" (Col. 3:19). The authority of the man over the woman is founded on his love to her, and this love must be such as to lead him to risk his life for her. She has need of all the assistance and support which her husband can give her; and, if she performs her duty well, she deserves the utmost of his love and affection.
@zyrich
Chemistry of Love When I first met M, I was in college. She happened to become my closest friend in due course of time. She had a huge crush on a guy in her neighbourhood. She told me about all the dreams she wanted to fulfil with this guy. I sometimes felt that she is in love with the guy though she never declared it in exact words. One day, after class when we went to canteen to have a bite, she confessed her feelings and also described me a very grand preparation for proposing him. She was nervous and full of anticipation. Sometimes she was talking too much and sometimes fell silent. I tried to soothe her mental agony or excitement whichever way the readers might put it. I do not know if I was of any help. Since I am a person who thrives on romance, I really got enormously excited about the whole matter. Next day in college, I waited for her impatiently. She did not come for the first class, making me almost crazy in anticipation. I was not able to concentrate. The next class, she entered, looked at me as if trying to suppress her smile. She took the seat just next to me and in hushed tones half filled with shyness and half with triumph, told me that the guy had accepted her proposal. Her eyes were glittering with emotion. After the class we went to a coffee shop for elaborate discussions on the matter. She described the whole incident with such animation, that I truly envied her happiness. I kept thinking that M has got the true love of her life. Or was it true love? Or is true love and eternity of relationships a figment of our imagination. After one year she told me in the bus stop, while waiting for a bus to our college, that she is head over heals in love with a classmate of ours and wanted to break off with the neighbourhood guy. I was extremely perplexed. Before this I thought that she had received the love of the person whom she desired so much, then what went wrong? Why did she fall out of love? I asked her the reasons for her sudden change in feelings. She told me in a guilty voice that she was not in love with him anymore, but she didn't know of any particular reason. She told me that she never realised that she was drifting away from him. When exactly she started feeling for our classmate was absolutely unknown to her as if some magic spell was put on her. Her eyes looked so helpless. Previously I used to feel that people who claim that they fell in love with somebody else while still being in a relationship were weak people with no strength of character. I believed them to be devoid of the ability to feel love in its true essence and lacking in devotion and commitment. But looking at her face I could not see anything of that sort. She was very much in love with our classmate, had the same glitter of emotion in her eyes for the guy promising all notions of commitment and devotion. She was ashamed of feeling that way, for another guy but her feeling itself had no impurity. She never wanted to betray anybody, but she had fallen in love even without taking her own conscious permission. My theory of eternal love was shaken for the first time. Now when I look back after so many years and think with all other similar incidents acting as proof of my new theory, I feel wiser and less naive. I feel that we are like molecules which are in constant brownian motion and like molecules we keep bumping into different kinds of people. Sometimes we collide with people who catch our interest and we fall in love just like molecules undergo chemical reactions. How stable the newly formed compound is foretells the future reactions these constituent molecules might undergo. Similarly when two people form a relationship, the time for which they will be together depends on the depth of the relationship. Also in both cases the circumstances have a huge role to play. Whom will you meet next or how the same person you had loved so much will change with time or what unavoidable circumstances might pull two people apart are some of the reasons why love although still being an eternal feeling is non-existent for eternity. This is a short love story from a spectator who is in love with romance. I have always thrived on drama and romance. I love to observe people in love and the way they handle their emotions. Some of these real life experiences have influenced my notion of relationships. There are many such short stories which are profoundly interesting and have excited imagination of all sorts.
@zyrich
Love Is This Strange Feeling You Get Inside Love is this strange feeling you get inside. The love that you feel for someone can't be explained even if you try. Putting love into words may seem easy, but it can be complicated. Thinking of ways to express this feeling can take time, but it doesn't matter because this feeling of love feels real. In many ways you can be scared of losing what you've found, every day you need to constantly remind yourself that this is real, that it's not the same as anything that you had experience in the past, and that this time the real thing has come along. As well as to constantly remind yourself not to screw up the wonderful thing that is happening at this moment of time. We all experience these types of fear. The fear of doing it wrong or the fear of losing the best thing that you've ever had. In any case back to topic. The moment you feel real love, you feel happy, like you can do anything and (even better) do anything with that person. This type of feeling wants you to strive to be better than the person you were yesterday and every day you feel yourself moving more to become the person that you were always meant to be. I know I'm babbling on about love and most people don't believe in love or lost hope in love. Lots of choices were made and things have changed a lot over the years. I know this, because I've never been satisfied in my choices I've made, but in all the things that I've done wrong, I think one of my mistakes turned out to be the best decision I have ever made, because in that mistake I found the real feeling, the way it is supposed to be, the way everybody should experience it. Sometimes making a reckless decision in the heap of a moment can change your life completely. That is how I found my happiness; I can finally say I know what happiness feels like, without any hesitation. Once upon a time I didn't believe happiness existed, but believe me now when I say, happiness is out there and it might be looking for you right at this moment. But don't just wait for it to find you, go out there, experience, and make choices until you walk into the happiness that was looking for you. Maybe, just maybe this feeling of love could be the story of my happily ever after.
@zyrich
Those Who Share, Dare, and Those Who Care, Bear LIFTING others aloft before the Lord is a privilege, but more fundamentally it requires faith and wisdom beyond selflessness. Whilst we hold people aloft, by prayer, petition, intercession, and peer or professional support, we may occasionally or often be tempted to take our eyes off our own issues - those things we're responsible for - our self-care and the care God has anointed us for, e.g. family. If we're humble we might pray that someone else might stand in the gap for us. Plainly, everyone needs care. But let's presume, for the purposes of this article our self-care and family-care roles are sorted, well-structured and satisfactory. This article can be summarised thus. The carer bears. The sharer dares. Know that the one who cares, Listens patiently and bears, And the one who shares, Feels love from the one who cares. Is there anything more sacredly valuable in life - God's Spirit incarnate as if Jesus living and breathing there in the midst - than someone who's willing to patiently listen and bear another's burden? The one who cares, bears. They bear much. Because they can. For no reward. And the result is the one who shares, who feels the carer's bearing of their struggle (caring) in their sharing, feels love, and they receive God's healing for that moment. The one who shares, Is the one who dares, Theirs is the healing, Healing soul's feeling. The one who shares, must, of course, dare. They must risk their emotional material. None of us can approach God's healing Presence without being vulnerable; throwing caution to the wind. The trouble is, when we share we are tempted to share our complaints and misery, but we often don't risk enough to expose the truths of our inadequacies. We find it easier to expose our perceptions of others' inadequacies. This renders care useless as far as healing's concerned. The adept carer uses counselling techniques to skilfully enquire into the felt states of the person they care for. They encourage daring on the part of the person they're caring for. Where daring actually occurs real therapy takes place through transformative access to primary (core) emotions (e.g. the sorrow beyond anger; the fear beyond bargaining; the pride beyond denial). Know that the one who shares, Trusts the one who cares, And the one who cares, Encourages the one who shares. Daring is not simply boldness for brashness's sake, it's a task of trust - one of life's most courageous and sacred tasks. This is something that a carer feels incredibly honoured in. There are fewer more privileged places in the ministry of caring relationships than when someone offers to trust us with their visceral material. The carer encourages the sharer into the trust of safety - to expose core vulnerabilities. This is sacred work and the carer must prove trustworthy. What's involved is a golden transaction between the sharer and the carer, and, done well, transformation takes place, between them, and in each of them. Don't forget these two interdependent truths: Those who share, dare, and those who care, bear.
@zyrich
Why Do We Criticise When We Can Encourage? "If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other." - Galatians 5:15 (NIV) Criticism: (noun) 2. the act of passing severe judgment; censure; faultfinding. (Source: dictionary.com) FEEDBACK in life is something that comes unmetered and unmerited much of the time. It seems whether we're Christian or not, or whether we're operating in Christian communities or not, matters little. We cannot assume that Christians will either love their neighbour as themselves (Paul's reminder of Jesus' summation of the Matthew 22:37-39 Great Commandment in Galatians 5:14) or love one another (Jesus' final commandment in John 13:34). These 'commandments' are not as inculcated in us as God would like. Our discipleship, however, is to be centred on these. There always needs to be room for the provision of constructive feedback. That's feedback that can be hard to hear. But that feedback, skilfully delivered, both motivates and inspires. It encourages. Criticism, on the other hand, plays the person and not the ball. It all depends on the motive of the feedback, for some feedback is apparently couched in love, but it doesn't feel loving when it's received. It falls short. It misses the mark. It's no encouragement. Yes, even in constructive feedback there is encouragement. That's the test of whether it's constructive or not. Having spent more than half my life in the industrial workplace I've dealt with much feedback, not all of it well intentioned, but some of it expertly delivered - because it was well intentioned. We might expect to run up against crudeness where trade unions battle daily with management. We come to expect crude behaviour from worldly people who frankly don't care much for the airs and graces of 'love'. And this is part of the problem - we come to expect more from our churches, our pastors, our fellow Christians, and brothers and sisters in Christ. But we shouldn't. We've all fallen short of the holy standard of love at all times, in all situations, and in all ways. None of us can claim anything close to perfection. We've all patented our own original designs of the age old nemesis of holiness: sin. Criticism will occur. We ourselves will criticise. We'll be hurt, and we'll hurt. Our only protection against falling for being hurt by criticism is to expect it - to anticipate it before it comes, and to train ourselves to react via responses of grace. Our only protection against falling into the sin of criticising others is to intend to encourage everyone all the time. That way, even when we have to deliver constructive feedback, we do so with loving care, prayerfully and gently, with the intent of building the other person up. But if we bite and devour each other we'll destroy each other, and, worse, we'll bring not glory to God, but prove ourselves a laughingstock to a world testing our Christianity for the real thing or not. Recall what Jesus told us in John 13:35; that's how the world knows we're his disciples: if we love one another. Criticism is not love. It's ill-intentioned communication. My challenge is this. It's harder by far to deliver constructive feedback well (in a way that's received thankfully) than it is to simply criticise, which can take no thought nor effort nor prayerful approach. Criticism can well be born out of laziness. Christians ought to be up for such a challenge - to do the harder thing - for they seek to bless the Lord via their obedience to his commands. Encouragement is respectful and honouring of a person's soul, soothing to their wounds, and sensitivity for their vulnerabilities. It inspires people when they're down, and it challenges when they're up. Encouragement is a gift in and from the giver, for the receiver. It builds up and does not tear down. No one was ever destroyed by encouragement. But many are by criticism. Why would we criticise when we can encourage? If our intention is to love, we'll convert every critical spirit into encouragement to build the other up.
@zyrich
How To Choose a Hobby You Will Both Love Finding hobbies both you and your partner love can be somewhat difficult, especially if you two consider yourselves to be very different people. But with some perspective and analyze you will soon realize you are not so different after all. If you were, you would not have been attracted to each other. Here is how you will find a hobby you will both love: Talk about common interests - go out if you want to or simply have dinner at home and talk about things you like. Discover what things you got in common, such as nature, design or any other domain and take it from there. Look for fun activities - search on the Internet, ask your friends or any other source what activities you can do together. Do not go for a boring one or something that the other might not fully enjoy. You want this activity to turn into your hobby and connect you two, not to break you apart or anything. Invite your partner to enjoy a thing you like - kindly ask your partner to try a thing you enjoy. This does not mean that if your partner simply hates watching soap operas you should make him watch them with you. He might start hating them even more. And you might have a big fight over this. Be considerate regarding the activity you plan on sharing with your partner. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you like, as a woman, to be taken to a mechanic shop and put to work? As much as you hate it, your partner hates it too. Respect your partner when he says no - always keep in mind that you are trying to find a common hobby, not to start an argument. In other words, if your partner simply says no to a possible hobby do not pressure him into doing it. It simply might not be his thing and there is no point in yelling at him for no reason. Accept his decision and find something else. There are plenty of things to choose from. See what you have already experienced together - discover what you two have already done together. What were the things that brought you two together? You can always discover some link to your common habits and enjoy them as much as the other hobbies. After you have completed all these steps, you are most likely to find a common hobby or more. If you found more, see which one is more important for you two, which one you would like to start doing right away. That is the one for you. Finding common ground is a thing related with a deep analyze into your relationship. If you are able to communicate in the right way, you will find the common hobby you have been looking for. If your communication is bad, you will end up in an unfortunate situation.
@zyrich
Are You A Taker Or A Caretaker In Your Relationships? Every relationship has a taker and a caretaker in it. Some people like to take care of others, to nurture them, to make them feel safe, at the cost of being overly protective, to provide for others and to take care of most of the things. They also have a tendency of letting go of their happiness and putting the taker on the first place, ignoring their feelings or current state of mind. Other people are takers. They accept what they are given: love, affection, protection and they keep on taking more. They also want others to make them happy, put them first and to fill their emptiness. They also hold others responsible for their own feelings. In fact, the caretakers and takers are two sides of the same coin. They also have a way of meeting. Takers spot other takers and do not like each other, because they need someone to take care of them. Caretakers feel alright around other caretakers, but immediately fall into love with a taker, since they tend to be quite charming people. But both caretakers and takers abandon themselves. Takers abandon themselves when they are both alone and with other people. They can't stand the thought of being alone so they fill their time with food, work or TV. Caretakers abandon themselves when they are with others. They put their feelings aside and worry about others. What do both of them need to learn? As they have a tendency of abandoning themselves, both takers and caretakers need to learn how to love themselves. A taker considers that other people should be the source of the joy, fun, love and protection. They can't picture themselves loving them. They simply can't. They think it is perfectly natural to receive love from another person. They know they struggle with self-abandonment and it pains them a lot to see other people are not eager to step up their game and take care of them. This is the source of their pain. Instead of being able to love themselves, they make others responsible for their feelings. A caretaker thinks it is not right to love themselves until no one needs them. They think they have to struggle to get the love they deserve and that love is something that you must earn, not something that it is given to you. It is not that they can't love themselves, they do, but they won't. Not until they are alone. As soon as they realize they have been putting off their feelings and abandoning themselves into taking care of other people, caretakers are most likely to start loving themselves. They might actually learn how to take care of their own person and how to provide love for their own sake. That is only after they have been faced with their abandonment issue. So now that you know how to identify whether you are a taker or a caretaker, can you see which one are you? Do you take or do you give?
@zyrich
Good morning guys
@zyrich
How To Keep Love Alive Many couples struggle with the idea of keeping their love alive and keeping the flame still burning. After a couple of years of marriage things might be getting dull. But keeping the love alive is possible. All you need is creativity and some time on your hands. How can you keep love alive? Here are some tips on how to keep loving someone or how to keep love alive: Do not forget about romantic gestures - bringing flowers to your wife, buying some sexy lingerie for your husband or simply cooking her a nice dinner are small gestures that have a big effect. After a while people forget to do these gestures and when love dies they wonder why. It is mostly because you forgot to make your partner feel loved and appreciated. Do not let the anger get the best of you - conflict is expected in any relationship, but how you react when you encounter it is one of the most important things. If you got angry due to some fight you had with your partner take some time to cool down, to let the anger go away and then try to solve the problem. Do not yell at each other, since the yelling will solve absolutely nothing. Anger will only bring more anger and soon enough you will throw objects at him. And this can be a major falling out. Do not see only the bad parts - yes, we all have flaws and sometimes we make mistakes that have an impact in our life and the life of others. If your partner wronged you do not focus on the mistake, but focus on the fact that he has been trying to repair it. Also, do not look for the flaws. See your husband for the lovely person he is. See the whole person. Do not compare your partner with others - each person is wired in a different way. Do not compare your husband with any other person. Or your wife for that matter. Comparing is never healthy. In fact, it can actually take away your happiness and ruin your relationship. Try to keep your marriage and partnership comparing free. Learn your spouse's way of speaking - as previously stated we are all different and we do not have the same language as well as our husband or wife from time to time. Especially considering the fact that women and men are genetically built distinct. Learn what your wife wants to tell you, learn to adapt your system to hers and vice-versa. Do not ruin your current relationship - there are some ground breaking deals, which you should definitely avoid, such as cheating, flirting with other people and other stuff that can turn your relationship into an emotional wreck. These are some tips on how to keep love alive after a few years of relationship. Keeping the love alive is possible only if you put in some effort and time. Dedicate yourself to your partner and everything will be alright.
