When Love Dies
Anyone who has gone through the agony of losing someone he/she loves so much will still wish against all odds to have that love back again. But sometimes, a lost love is a love gone forever. No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death.
Set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly. Remember, it may rain for 40 days and 40 nights, but still it will not rain forever. One day, the pouring will stop and there will be plenty of branches where you can find rest. One of these is where you will build your nest and start over again. It's never too late. You may find love and lose it but, When Love dies, you never die with it".
You cannot be a redeemer all your life. The perfect way to test a relationship is through the test of fire. You cannot be a sober with your mistake forever. We all fall and make wrong decisions, but our blunders are not meant to bury us deep in misery but to teach us the valued lessons of life. Loving is always a learning process.. with love we learn how to Care and Sacrifice. We learn to Share and Reach out. We learn to become Unselfish and give more than we can. Then, when everything doesn't end well, we learn how it feels like to fall and get hurt.
But learning doesn't have to end there. After our fall, we strive to get back on our feet and move on. This is where we learn that Life doesn't end where our heartaches begin. There's no future for a relationship of Lies and Selfishness. It's true, there is life in love. But, there can still be life even after losing love if you leave the past behind and let your heart heal and give you the chance to find yourself again.
The success of a relationship lies not only in the beauty of its beginning but in its consistency. Make a choice, not on impulse but a decision based on a healthy balance of mind and heart. Let us always remember that... "Happiness is not a matter of Destiny but a matter of Choice".
You don't have to forget someone you love, what you need to learn is how to accept the verdict of reality without being bitter or sorry for yourself. You would be better off giving that dedication and love to someone more deserving.
The Chemistry of Romance and Stress: How to Boost Your Romance!
Romance! Romance is an unlimited passion for your partner. This passion is inevitably vital for nurturing happiness and joy in our relationship. Romance forms a fundamental base of our sexual life. Sex without romance is like body without a soul. Romance arises out of love for your partner. Romance keeps our life beautiful and evergreen. It brings the most valuable moments in to your life. Being in romance make one addicted in the melody of the beauty of life. The Romance is one of the most pleasurable and joyful feelings a man can experience in his life. The healthier ones romantic life the better he or she will be satisfied in their relationship. This will sprout out the bliss in to their life keeping their family joyful and fulfilling. But there are instances when the romance in our life gets fade. This causes all the happiness and pleasurable moments to dwindle away. One of the most common causes for this is "the stress" that we encounter in our daily life.
Hormones in our body play a vital role in our body in flourishing romance. These hormones are responsible for what we feel while we are in romance. There are two major hormones which plays a vital role in women that creates romance. The Oxytocin in women forces her to bond with her partner. This hormones cause an increase in her commitment for her partner. Oxytocin takes birth when a woman is overcome by a sense of safety and warmth or when she is nurturing her ward Estrogen is the most vital hormone that takes her in to the mood. This hormone generally spikes at the ovulation period. Estrogen is the hormone that evokes lust in women. While in Men, Testosterone is the most striking hormone that evokes lust in men. This testosterone is released when there is a visual stimulation of opposite sex or when there is urgency for sex. Testosterone is released when the Men are overcome by a sense of urgency, sacrifice or is in the problem solving mode.
Yes! These hormones are inevitable in blooming romance in both sexes. Both estrogen and testosterone takes birth from a mother hormone known as DHEA!
But how does our daily life stress affect our romance? The stress hormone "the adrenaline" which steals the romance from our life also takes birth from the same mother hormone DHEA!
So how exactly your romance affect your stress?
When we are in romance testosterone and estrogen will be produced in large quantities in our body. So the mother hormone DHEA is utilized completely for the production of these two romantic hormones. This makes DHEA least available for the production adrenaline "the stress hormone". As a result of this, we won't experience any stress while we are in romance. This is the reason why romance wipes away our stress!
But when we are in stress! Adrenaline is produced in large quantities in our body. So the mother hormone DHEA is completely utilized for the production of the stress hormones. This makes DHEA least available for the production of the two romantic hormones testosterone and oxytocin. As a result of this, we won't experience any romance while we are in stress. This is the reason why stress wipes away our romance!
The male body requires 30 times more testosterone than the female oxytocin to be able to cope with a similar stress level. This is the reason why men lose romance faster than women.
So by increasing romance we will be able to wipe out stress away from our life. Let us have a look at the top 5 strategies and use them to increase our romance.
(1)Be sincere, open and frank, this opens up ones heart causing oxytocin to release to create bonding with the partner.
(2)Avoid unnecessary works that steals away the time to spare with you family and spend your time with your partner. This creates a sense of commitment in her causing to release more oxytocin. This creates more commitment.
(3)Have some trips and create some of the most memorable events in your life with your partner. This will cause to release more dopamine and serotonin. These events will later motivate you to spare more time with her.
(4)Practice mindfulness, it calms our mind and reduce our stress. This will shunt more of the DHEA to produce the romantic hormones.
(5)Be in romance, this will cut down the production of adrenaline!
Live your life in romance!
What's Love Got to Do With Your Health?
While a lack of a love life can be depressing for a person, it can also have a much greater effect than most people realize. People who are in a loving committed relationship may be protecting their health. Over the years, much research has been carried out to determine what role love plays on a person's health. Recent research suggests love can be a lifesaver when it comes to keeping the immune system healthy.
Scientists have been successful in finding evidence that suggests those who are in love have stronger immune systems. This means they are able to fight viruses more efficiently. Through a study conducted by the University of Iowa, it was found women with ovarian cancer, who were in a loving relationship, had more vigorous killer cell activity. Killer cells are white cells that work to destroy cancer cells. Because of love, people who are facing life-threatening illnesses are more likely to recover.
According to the National Longitudinal Mortality Study, research that has been carried out since 1979 proves those who are married live longer and suffer from fewer heart attacks and cancer than those who are single. Married people even suffer from fewer episodes of pneumonia.
Unfortunately, it is not enough to simply be in a relationship. Those who are in bad relationships end up experiencing detrimental health effects that can even be worse than those who are single. Toxic relationships end up putting a person's body under stress which can cause their immune system strength to falter. Studies have shown couples who are constantly fighting are more likely to become ill with colds and simple viruses than those who are happy in their relationship.
Not only does being in love comfort a person's heart, it can also lower a person's blood pressure. The doctors at the University of North Carolina found hugging helps to release oxytocin which is a hormone that relaxes the body. This same hormone dramatically lowers the blood pressure. The more one hugs, the higher their level of oxytocin. Studies show frequent hugging can have almost the same effect as many of the most prescribed blood pressure medications.
Through many scientific studies, health experts now agree love is crucial for keeping a person at their highest level of health. Though many advancements have been made in medical treatment, none can truly mimic what love can do for a person.
If you want to make the most of your health and help prevent your body from developing diseases, it can help to find your true love. They say love makes the world go around and that may be true, but love is especially important for keeping you healthy.
With plenty of love in your life, your immune system will remain strong so it can fight bacteria and the body can remain healthy and strong. Not only will you be gloriously happy, but your body will thank you by keeping you free from illness. With love, you will live longer and experience the true joy that life can bring.
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The Importance of Showing Love
Few people would deny the importance of love in one's life. Most people have experienced love in one of its forms and would admit that it has given them more self-confidence and faith in themselves than they would have had without it. For example, a child who grows up in a family that shows love will probably feel more safe and secure than a child who feels unloved. Beginning one's life in a loving environment helps one feel more secure for the rest of her life. No matter what the type of love you receive, you will benefit from it. Likewise, others benefit from the love you share, and therefore it is time to live in a loving way.
In order to share love with others, it might come in handy to consider the various types of love. Obviously, romantic love is the love that spouses, lovers, and committed people have for one another. Parental love, family love, friendly love, and general love for acquaintances and humanity exist to make life more pleasurable. The more love one feels, the less likely he will be a psychopath because loving entails giving something positive of oneself, like caring feelings, to benefit another person. When the recipient of love becomes aware that he or she is loved, that recipient usually feels a very pleasant feeling on many levels including physical, spiritual, and emotional levels. Receiving love impacts the recipient by calming her down and providing her with a better sense of self-worth.
One way to show love, regardless of the type of love the individual feels, is by caring unconditionally and by accepting another person as he is. This means that the one who loves listens to the expression of the feelings of the other without condemnation. Love also entails accepting another person no matter what she looks like and without any other motivations to attain money or material goods.
Accepting others as they are and expressing concern for their well-being is at the root of love no matter what type of love it might be. People who love will not turn their backs on their friends and abandon them when life becomes difficult. The one who loves does not walk along a metaphorical path of convenience because having friends for convenience would only be self-centered. Instead, love necessitates acting kindly, soothing others, and providing positive vibrations to those one loves.
Both management and employees at work need to show love to others on the job. Maybe this idea sounds strange to some. Love for your coworkers and employees is expressed by helping them become successful at what they do. For instance, no one should put anyone else down or deliberately hurt the feelings of others at work. If a fellow-employee is failing at a task, the others should help him attain success as though they were helping their own brother or child be successful. Expressing love at work is the process of empowering others, never exploitation or harassment of any type. Perhaps, the best way to show love to your fellow employees is to respect them and to help them be the best they can be.
Family love remains equally empowering. Family members should support one another as a cohesive unit that encourages each member to act with kind values toward all of humanity. Members of families should encourage the kind actions of the other members of the same family while never blindly accepting any form of cruelty toward non-members of the group. Unfortunately, some people believe that belonging to the same family justifies giving support to family members who behave in cruel ways toward non-members, but that belief is wrong just as hurting anyone, anywhere is dishonest, going against all love. In order to show family love, the members of the same group must not only respect each other but also let that love spread into all of society.
The most obvious form of love is romantic and marital love. Being in a positive romantic relationship benefits everything people do in all areas of life. Knowing that there is a partner with whom one can share experiences at the end of the day has great benefits, especially when beloveds do not put each other down and are willing to listen with gentle support. Romantic love certainly saves lovers from any bad experiences they might encounter while separate throughout the day because conversation with the beloved is therapeutic. Having a boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, or wife is simply a great reassurance and way to help another person.
Friends, likewise, show love to one another through mutual respect, caring, and acceptance. It is important to accept one's friends' dreams and goals while being kind to them at all times. If a friend is going through a challenging time, lending an open ear to listen to her challenges will make a positive change in her life because she will feel inspired by your support. One never knows when that love shown to a friend will inspire him or her to do greater things. In some respects, we should be friends to all peaceful people, lending them a hand in one way or another, by listening to them, by acknowledging them, and by helping them in reasonable ways.
Love has tremendous power to help us grow and to heal us. Everyone benefits from love, from its seeds and by watering them so the seeds of love will grow. Kind words coming from the heart and inspired by love are the true treasures of our coexistence.
Love and Its Definition Around the World
What is love? Love can be defined in many ways such as it is a beautiful word or it is a feeling that one expresses towards someone or something or caring about someone or something. For example, when you care and have feelings for another guy or girl or pet, then that can be described as love. In the modern world today, love can be said to be very complex.
The Love IS project was founded by Chrissie Lam and its intention is to spread love around the world through different projects. The platform aims at connecting people from around the world by allowing them to share stories and describe what love really means to them.
Around the world, love is compared to the feeling of happiness, joy and any other feeling that is associated with it. While people around the world have a different perspective on the subject matter, no perspective is lesser than the other.
Every person gets to experience love in one way or another at some point in their lives. Every individual has undergone an experience that they can say it changed their life. Love is and has always been an open-ended subject that why it's hard to come up with a specific definition of it. Chrissie Lam has been able to vouch that love is unique in each and every individual regardless of the social status, economic class, religion, ethnicity and country.
The Love Is project is not only a platform where people get to define what love is but it is bound by a simple red bracelet that has the word "LOVE" beaded on it. Having worked for American Eagle Outfitters as a concept designer, Chrissie left the job to start her own project - The Supply Change - which enabled her to bring different worlds and concepts together.
The Love Is project began in Kenya where Chrissie worked with Masai women who live in the southern part of the Great Rift Valley. During this time, Chrissie and the women developed a vibrantly colored message bracelet with the word LOVE on it. The bracelet is made from local beads that are used by the Masai women to make their own ceremonial bracelets. Through their bead work, the Masai women are also able to sell their products to the Kenyan people and tourists who visit them with the sole purpose of interacting with them and learning about their lifestyle.
On a flight to Moscow, Chrissie met two girls from Uzbekistan and Kyrgyztan. She struck a conversation with them on what love is. The answers that the girls gave Chrissie inspired her finally taking photos of the two girls and posting them on Instagram. From the photos and the number of interested viewers who commented on them from around the world, the Love Is project began. The project has gained popularity around the world and has featured more than 500 people representing over 90 different nationalities.
The Hard Work of Being a Family
There is no such thing as a perfect family. Behind every door there are issues.
The difference is accepting and encouraging each family member as they are,
not as we would like them to be.
~Catherine Pulsifer~
Are you at peace with everyone in your family? If so, congratulations! Be thankful for your family and for your ability to listen to each other and talk about your differences. No two people are the same. Our values and perceptions are all at least a little different. It is inevitable that from time to time we will see things in a way which conflicts with the views of even those closest to us.
If you find yourself in conflict with an acquaintance, it might not trouble you. What that person feels or believes might not matter that much to you and you just go on your way. There are plenty of other people in the world. Disagreeing with a few of them is no big deal. What they think does not affect your daily life. You just let it go unless you are one of those people who think everyone must agree with you.
What about conflict with a family member? Did you grow up in a family where your parents were able to listen to each other, digest what they heard and respond lovingly? I have never met a family which approaches conflict in this way one hundred percent of the time, including my own. You might have been lucky enough to have had parents who handled most conflicts this way. If so, you most likely learned good ways to handle conflict most of the time.
You might have had parents who weren't so good at managing conflicts. If you never saw good ways to handle difficulties as you grew up, you might find yourself at a loss for how to manage your own conflicts. There are a few ways to improve your ability to handle conflict.
Here are a few suggestions you might want to try:
Find out what is important to the other person and why. Learn how he or she feels about the issue and why.
Next, think about what is important to you and make sure you understand your own feelings.
Look for areas of agreement. Share these with each other.
Share what you love and respect about each other.
Make sure you understand the other's viewpoint.
Agree to hear and respect each other's opinion even if you don't agree with it.
Understanding might lesson the conflict but in the end you might need to accept each other as you both are.
Life Lab Lessons
Make sure you understand your own position and feelings about areas of conflict.
Get some help understanding yourself if you need it.
Do more listening than talking.
Try to understand your relative's position and feelings.
Look for ways to support each other regardless of your differences.
The Transforming Power Of Supernatural Love
How did I know she was the one and only for me?
I don't know if you believe in the love at first or don't, but what I can tell you is: "I have experienced love at first sight and now I am living with the woman of my dreams that I have loved at first sight". Finding love can be painful but the good news is:" You can learn how to find love and avoid heartaches of that Journey"
Before I met my soulmate, I read some of the books about attracting and finding love while healing your heart, I did everything I read from those books. First week nothing major happened but I had to give it some time before seeing the results and at the end of the second week, something magnificent happened, I met a perfect stranger.
How did I met her? I went to a cyber cafe where one of my friends was working, to share some good news with him not knowing that I would meet my soulmate in there. I walked in there with sense of urgency because I couldn't wait to break the news to my friend and guess what?
Immediately after walking in there, there was this girl who was there to fax some of her documents, I looked at her eyes for few seconds and I just couldn't look away anymore because she had just stolen my heart. I stared at her like I have just seen the ghost and she looked at me and smiled as if she knew that I was in a dreamland.
Wow is this real? that's what I asked myself because she was like a God sent angel to me. I couldn't even open my mouth, she charmed me in a way where by I became speechless and I even forgot the reason why I was there because I was just mumbling when trying to talk. I became weak and looked like a fool.
I fell in love with her instantly, she was beautiful, smelling divine, there was just something special and magnificent about her,everything went from wrong to right. She blew my mind and her eyes were like the shining stars in the moonlight.
To cut the long story short, I did not talk to her the same day because her prettiness really scared me but I went home and wondered what I have just seen today. The following day I came back to that cyber cafe and started asking about her and they told me who she is and where she lives and I had to hunt her like a springbok.
I hunted her till I meet her officially because I knew that I had to do something about what I was feeling inside, otherwise I wasn't going to live happily knowing that I love someone but there is nothing I can do about it. I had to play my part for the whole process to work on my favor and today I am a happy man alive!
This girl has everything I have ever wanted from my dream woman, she's beautiful, she respects me, she loves me, she is caring, she is understanding and I just love everything about her. I knew from day one that she was the one because I had been waiting for her to manifest since the universe has answered me.
If you haven't found the one for yourself, don't worry it's never too late. No matter how old you might be, you can still find someone, that you'll think she/he was tailored for you. You can learn how to find love and avoid heartaches of that Journey.
My Gift, Though Small, Is Given To Make You Tall
Oh how small the enemy makes us feel,
When we've only got a pittance to give,
But all of what we give is fully and truly real,
And it's given with the fullest intent,
That another might truly live.
Don't let your discouraged heart stop you from giving your gift. However small it may be to you, God intends you to give it.
He not only intends you give it; he makes it so you cannot not give it. And, even though the enemy can have a field day with your mind, you have done the right thing. You've brought heaven to earth. And, of course, the devil hates that.
REMEMBER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN GIVEN IS A GIFT TO BE GIVEN BACK
Our spiritual gifts are not for our selective use. They're there to benefit the body of believers and the whole world.
Gifts are given in order that they may be given again as gifts to others.
Any gift that God gives that gives extravagantly sows into a Kingdom that reaps in a multiplicity of ways. Almost every single one of these ways is significant; as much as they are also unknown to us.
To receive is an invitation to give. So give. And be glad. Think not of the cost. Think only of the possibilities for the Kingdom. We'll never know until we see the Kingdom in all its glory.
THREE THINGS TO REMEMBER IN THE PIT OF DISCOURAGEMENT
When we give our gifts they're not always received with the gratitude due their receiving.
This we must accept, as they're gifts - given freely with no impediment of obligation.
But we may still necessarily feel slightly or mightily discouraged.
Here's what to do:
1. Remember who gave the gift to us in the first place. God knows what that slap in the face feels like. Think of the times we've rejected him in rejecting the receipt of his gifts, and the times we've rejected him in refusing to give our gifts when he's willed us to. When we're talking the gifts of the Kingdom - gifts good enough for the perfection of heaven - we can see how inappropriate it is for these gifts not to be used or extended to others.
2. Grace abides. There's no obligation on the receiver to receive them with thanks, or to even receive them at all. A gift does not command a receiving. Grace abides. It must.
3. What a friend we have in Jesus. In prayer we have a Lord and Saviour who will understand and empathise with us - that rejection at Calvary was harder than any rejection we have to bear. Bitter discouragements ought to be aimed at him who knows the gall of bitter distress better than we ever can.
***
Don't let your discouraged heart stop you from giving your gift. However small it may be to you, God intends you to give it.
Truly.
When I give my gift to you,
Even though I know it's small,
Know that I give with an intent that's true,
An intent that wants you to feel tall.
The Transforming Power Of Supernatural Love
What do we know about love? Do we know what love is? Human as we are, we do not naturally know what true love is!
But it is possible for persons to experience a continuous measure of true love!
So let us look at some pointers to true love--shown in the book of absolute truth--the Holy Bible.
The truth about true love--cannot be gotten from this world--as it now is!
It would help to believe love can be taught by--only One Person. That Person is Jesus Christ. He is "... the way, the truth, and the life;" (St.John 14:6).
However, it is not possible to experience the secret things of God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit--if one is not in communion and fellowship with them!
True love--is God's love. It is--supernatural! It goes beyond the natural! Although it is given--in measure--to the believer, it is powerful! It never fails. It is the work of God's Holy Spirit. It is given to anyone who believes and follows Jesus Christ--and is allowing Him to transform their mind and heart.
Some verses of Scriptures, found in 1 Corinthians 13, give insights into true nature of love. They read:
"Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.
2) And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not love I am nothing.
3) And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profits me nothing.
4) Love suffers long, and is kind; love envies not; love praises not itself, is not puffed up,
5) Does not behave itself unseemly, seeks not her own, is not easily, thinks no evil;
6) Rejoices not in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
7) Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things,
8) Love never fails; but whether there be prophecies there shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge it shall vanish away.
13) And now abides faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love."
No human being can understand or perform this kind of love by themselves!
However, believers are expected to exhibit some measure of--supernatural love-when they are surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus Christ--and live in the Power of His Holy Spirit.
Good day to all read.cash family...
Goodnight guys and good bless you all
Best Relationship Advice
Read on to find the key principles you should adhere to and that form the cornerstones of the unwritten dating and relationship bible:
1. Have self value
This is the key point because it's critical to your success with people. If you take on board nothing else in this article - make a mental note of this point!
Most women fail in love for this reason and this reason alone. Women are pre-socialised doormats. We were raised to believe we need to give in order to get but we have been misguided.
The women who are successful in love honor themselves before a man. Such women stand for something knowing that if they didn't they would fall for anything.
How do you do this exactly you may ask?
You establish boundaries. In your mind you develop a list of behaviours or actions that a man may do which you find unacceptable. If you don't know off the top of your head yet, remember them when they happen. If you don't know how to judge whether you are being rational or not, simply trust that if something offends or hurts you - it's not okay and you need to let him know or cut him off completely.
Put yourself first. Never put a man before yourself. Why? Because no one else will look after you when he isn't there or everyone else has commitments because they are looking after themselves. Secondly, a man will only value you as much as you value yourself. So if you are putting him first you are decreasing your value by default.
Don't try to please him. It sounds counterintuitive to a female, but it screams desperation. When you go the extra distance to show him how much you care it will look just like that to him, that you are trying to hard.
Girlfriend - get a life. There is nothing sexier than a woman who has her own life, goals - something going for herself. A man wants to be a part of your world if it is going on. Think about it, that is exactly why you want to be a part of a guy's life, because it's exciting and he has something going for himself.
Express yourself. Just like men like a woman who is playful or a woman who smiles and melts his heart, they also love a woman who expresses herself openly through her gestures. It shows her self-belief and value as person.
What Love Does and Does Not Do
Do you know love does not do?
It does not keep a record of wrongs. What does that actually mean? It means that you forgive. Forgiveness is the act of releasing someone from a debt that they owe you... whether this is a monetary debt, physical debt or emotional debt, it does not matter.
Steps to Forgiveness:
1) Acknowledgement of the offense
When there is an issue between you and your partner, you need to bring it up and talk about it. If your spouse has offended you and you do not bring it up, you miss an opportunity to show your spouse that you love enough to forgive them and your spouse misses the opportunity to understand you better.
2) Choose to Forgive
When you have offended your spouse, it is obvious that you need to apologize in a sincere manner. Likewise, it should be obvious that when you are the one who is hurt, you need to offer forgiveness. This process releases brings the relationship into balance again and it is vital to the process of forgiveness.
3) Restore the Relationship
After acknowledging the issue and going through the process of asking for forgiveness and giving it, it is important to continue the process of restoration through reconciliation and developing a deeper relationship with your spouse. What can you learn from this and how can you do it better/differently in the future?
4) Extend Grace and Love
When someone has hurt you, be the first to attempt to extend love and grace to your spouse. It is an awesome opportunity to show your spouse that regardless of what they have done, you love them, are committed to them and forgive them. Re-affirming the relationship is the best thing you can do to re-build and restore the trust in the relationship.
5) Stop Talking about it
This is probably one of the most important steps! Once you have forgiven someone - be done with it! Let it go! Bringing it up at any time in the future shows your partner that your word cannot be trusted and are selfish and "choosy" in your love.
Trust is lost in that you had given your word to forgive when you really have not forgiven them. You are selfish in that you place who you are as more important than your spouse is by withholding the love of forgiveness from them.
Acknowledge, Choose, Restore, Extend and Stop (ACRES)
Follow these steps to forgiveness and your relationship will be better for it... This is not just for your marriage, but also for any relationship, you have. I promise you that if you choose forgiveness, you will not only help others but yourself. Grudges are exhausting and as the Sloth from Ice Age said, "I'm too lazy to hold a grudge."
Love Is Also a Four Letter Word
We have come a long way since 1960 when the dead hand of the censor was lifted off the classic novel, Lady Chatterley's Lover. As a youngster, I must have got hold of a contraband copy and my youthful fingers trembled as I turned the novel's pages. I am not surprised that author; D.H. Lawrence first considered calling his novel Tenderness. The love making between Lady Chatterley and her gamekeeper lover Oliver Mellors was in fact sensitively portrayed. The language used was matter of fact without intending to shock. The censors were right to lift the ban.
Here was a golden opportunity in literature to treat the act of making love as the most pure and noble of human experiences. Instead, the floodgates opened to reduce this most precious of gifts, that of procreation, to the depths of degeneracy. Pornography has turned love-making into a display of semi-violent crude sex. It is now as far removed from romantic love as it is possible to be. The scenes portrayed are often perverted, depraved and in graphic form similar to biblical visions of hell. Few of us can relate such activity to our own lives.
What happened to the inspiring nature of lovemaking; the quickened heart of love at first sight; a shy flowering of mutual attraction; the chemistry between two people we know exists but cannot fathom. Is the love that grows to a point where a partner's life is more important than one's own still recognized? Pornography slammed its jackboot on the neck of mutual affection, togetherness, tenderness, shared spirits and ideals. Porn trampled on commitment, the concept of developing relationships through the most beautiful form of foreplay imaginable; the courting process. Pornography is what pig swill is to food. The quackery of mockery clubbed the world's romantic idealists and set out its stall to the most base of animal instincts in man.
True lovemaking is a carnival of living for its purpose is life. Pornography represents the death of spiritual and physical romance; it drives a stake through its life-giving purpose. It wasn't the removal of censorship that let loose the backed-up sewer of pornography that flooded over our lives. It was our inability to separate the highest form of romance from the most debauched and degenerate of sex. We are reminded of Elizabeth Browning's poem: How do I Love Thee? This beautiful poem is still voted Britain's most loved romantic poem. If the word beginning with the letter L was replaced with another four letter word beginning with F would that poem and many other sonnets of pure love have survived for five minutes let alone hundreds of years? That is the difference between animal rutting and romantic love: One lasts for a few minutes to leave a feeling of barrenness, the other lasts for centuries and leaves one with a sense of fulfillment.
3 True Components In A Random Act of Kindness
A random act of kindness has these three features: it's to be done now, for no reason, and for no credit.
Jesus is the reason for the season,
Kindness works in every season and region,
Do Random Acts for no reason,
Do your kindness in secret.
God gave us his Son - the grace of which implies such an act of kindness as to resemble what we, from our human viewpoint, could only do as a random act.
For us to replicate the immensity of God's act of kindness we need it to be random, such that our partialities and prejudices don't get in the way.
This is understood three ways:
Firstly, we typically hang back on doing kindness. God never did. We find every excuse in the book, at times, to resist giving a kindness. Yet we can all recall a time when we did a good thing without delay, reason or credit and we were incredibly blessed as a result.
To give now is to give in obedience to the Holy Spirit.
Secondly, we do kindnesses, but we do them for a reason, which usually involves a favour returned. How many times have we given something to someone, or done something nice, thinking even subconsciously, "there's a favour owed now"? This is particularly the case if we find it easy to give, yet not so easy to receive. Whether the favour is returned or not, as human beings we cannot help think what might follow. To give with no reason alludes to no human (corrupt) intention. To give with no reason means we give with our right hand in such a way as to not let the left hand know what we're doing. In other words, to give without reason attempts a purely spiritual endeavour.
So, to give, as prompted by the Spirit,
is to give now, with no reason.
Thirdly, we tend to do our kindness for our credit. Good things done usually have about them recognition, which esteems to us, value. We're valued and we feel valuable. Yet, do we trust in the Lord enough to do our good deed with no need of reward? If we did, we'd find ourselves very comfortably sat inside the intent of Jesus' Sermon in Matthew 6. And that ought to always be our goal.
A perfect random act of kindness is done now, for no reason, for no credit.
Each of these three components removes three barriers as we take our humanness out of the equation of love. This understands that love comes from God in us, and not inherently from us within ourselves.
***
Jesus is not just the reason for the Christmas season, though it's been helpful to reclaim that idea. Jesus is the reason for kindness in every season, because the Father showed such an immense and unremitting kindness in giving his Son for us all.
Random acts of kindness are God's perfect will in and for every season.
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A Confessional Letter to the Love of My Life
The moment since you smiled, I knew, I was in love. There has not been a single day that has passed by when I have not thought or remembered you. You were my past, you are my present, and you will be my future.
From the deepest core of my heart, I love you but there are times when I seriously want to hurt you for not acknowledging me or being away. No, I do not mean that my love for you is over, it can never be. I fight with you because I love you.
My Dearest, I do not know how to pen down my thoughts, so I am scribbling them in a random manner. In a hope that you would understand why I hate you yet love you.
"And then, I wanted to kill you...
For being bad to me.
For saying nasty things even when it was not my fault.
For keeping me waiting for hours in cafe
For forgetting my tastes, likes, and dislikes.
For quarrelling with me for no reason.
For choosing others over me.
To abandon me and go for outing with your friends.
For the sleepless nights you gave me when I was away and your forgot to call me.
For not replying when I wanted an answer.
Trust me, there are numerous reasons, for which, I wanted to kill you,
Because you made feel unworthy, rejected, unloved, and alone.
BUT...
There are zillion reasons, for which I love you,
When you kiss me while I sleep.
When you love me unconditionally and with my flaws.
When you gift me my favorite book and make a cup of coffee.
When you listen to all my madness with a smile on your face.
When you secretly present surprises to me, without letting anyone know,
When you say 'I love you' in different ways.
When you cry watching me in pain.
When you do all humanly possible things to make me feel better on my 'down' days.
When our souls meet, it changes my life forever.
When you react in the funniest, sarcastic way to make me laugh.
When you wait tirelessly on my shopping spree.
When you let me be 'me.'
When you make an effort to be friends with everyone, I know,
When you treat my family in the same way as I treat yours.
When you make feel special and the only alive girl on the planet.
When you cook or bake my favorite dishes.
When you are with 'me!'"
No matter how mad or angry I am on you, my reasons to love you will always win over the reasons wanting to kill you. Because love comes in forms!
Everything Is Clearer When You Are in Love
When it comes to human emotions, nothing beats the feeling of falling in love. If you are in love, you look at the world around you in a very positive and optimistic way. Your love for someone, or something, encourages you to be the best that you can be.
In other words, love is what's behind passion and inspiration. Just the mere sight of the person you adore makes your heart beat faster, and your brain work more efficiently. Even if you are going through something, love will be there to lighten the burden, and carry you through. In other words, you need love to fully enjoy life. Love makes everything better.
With that said, you should always be more generous in giving your love. The more you love, the more you will enjoy life. If you take a look at the happiest and most successful people around you, you will immediately see that they are where they are now, because they choose to love and focus their attention on positive things. Yes, there are people who consider them as enemies, but they don't pay attention to those people. What they do is spend most of their time around people and things that they love. When everything's said and done, loving and being loved, is the key to an existence that's filled with bliss, peace, and success. And of course, when you are in love, it motivates you to excel in whatever endeavor you want to pursue. Whether you are creating a piece of art, composing a song, or writing a short story, your love for someone will always be there to inspire you. Some of the best-known paintings, novels, and songs in the world were born out of love. That said, if you want to enjoy life more, you should love more.
Tips on How To View Your Goals With Clarity. Everybody wants to be successful in life. However, success does not come on a silver platter. It is also difficult to inherit success. To be successful in life, we have to have a dream. A dream strong enough to give us wings, the desire to achieve our dream. It starts with setting goals. The following are some tips you can use in order to see
1. Define your goals
Here is a trick question, how do you eat an elephant? The simple answer is, one bite at a time. That is how you approach the journey to your ultimate dream. One step at a time. You lay out a series of steps, which will be your goals toward the achievement of your dream.
2. Set realistic goals
Make sure that your goals are realistic. Every goal you set has to stretch you a little beyond your comfort zone. Being unrealistic about your goals will add excessive amounts of stress over trying to reach a goal that is effectively out of reach.
You want to ensure that the goals you set are measurable. For instance, you can say that after one year you want to have three cows and two goats. That goal is measurable. This quantifies what you want to achieve in one year. You will view your goals more clearly if they are measurable. To have a dream, a purpose in your life is very important. Your goals should be specifically tailored around your ultimate dream, being measurable, achievable, realistic, and time bound. This gives you a clear vision of your future path. So get started, and never give up.
The Art of Loving
"How do I find my soul mate"? "How do I recognize my soul mate when I meet him or her?" "What, exactly, can I do to attract a soul mate?" These are the most popular questions my coaching clients ask me. I answer these questions the same way each time. "Master the art of loving, and everything else will fall into place."
So many of us assume that true love is what we see in movies and on television. In Hollywood films, the hero and heroine meet, fall in love, have a falling out and unite in the end to live happily ever after. At Valentine's Day, for example, love is measured by how many diamonds, flowers, greeting cards and chocolates are purchased for the loved one. Women especially focus on their physical appearance with Americans spending more than $12 billion a year in cosmetic procedures. Sure these methods may bring a superficial, fleeting type of love, but it's not the avenue to true, lasting, spiritual love.
The key to attracting a soul mate is simply this: Master the art of loving in a deep, genuine and sacred way. The type of love I am talking about is when our heart overflows with love for all, and we see the light of the Divine in everyone. This is unconditional love pure and simple -- when we give without seeking, or asking for, anything in return. In this higher state of awareness, love is not reserved for one person alone. A higher consciousness develops when we are a channel for Divine Love. We undergo a spiritual transformation and expand our hearts to touch all of creation.
When we cross the bridge from conditional to unconditional love, we experience the true joy that giving of ourselves brings. Everything in your life shifts when your heart expands from giving unconditional love. You can no longer hold a grudge. You can't live from fear-based illusions. You cannot indulge in selfishness. Your vibratory rate rises, and your entire life changes because you become a magnetic energy for good.
We must listen to the urge to love beyond human constraints. We are, after all, on this planet to express God's love. While human forms of love change (people die, leave us, move away), God's love is permanent and everlasting. Love is the most powerful healing force in the universe. The last time you were emotionally wounded, it was love that healed you, love that dried your tears, love that revealed your wholeness once again.
To master the art of loving, give love. Give it fully. Give it freely. Don't keep it for just a chosen few in your life. Expand your love parameters. Let your radiant light shine and touch the heart of everyone you come in contact with. Give a smile, a touch, an act of kindness and compassion. No one can resist the flame of love that blazes out from you sweetly and beautifully.
Activating the love in you is the most powerful way to attract a soul mate. Love is irresistible. You become radiant with beauty when you are courageous enough to give your love to all. Keep in mind that your beauty is not measured by your physical attractiveness but in the amount of love in your heart that you shine onto others.
Another important key in mastering the art of loving is forgiveness. Forgiveness is essential to love. That includes letting go of the past. Holding onto grudges or resentments will not move you into a healthy relationship. Forgiveness is a key for finding a soul mate because it creates a shift in energy. It sets you free. What happened happened, and you can't change that. But you can change your energy around it. Your ability for happiness decreases as your inability to forgive increases because you have not let go. Hanging on to the past will block your future. Simply accept the gift from the experience and deepen your connection with God. Experiences of suffering and woundedness are what's called transformational drama and shake ups that wake us. It is through these challenges that we learn compassion, kindness and understanding. Struggles such as ones that have transpired in love relationships help us discover renewed strength and inner beauty. As painful as it might have been, forgiving expands us as spiritual beings and we come to a place of softness and gentleness.
The Divine Lover beckons you for forgive, release and respond with love. Then we live in higher vibratory states are fertile ground to meet a soul mate. Expansion of the heart through Divine Love results in love flourishing in personal relationships. All love given is precious. No amount of love exchanged is ever wasted. So don't be afraid to love with abandon no matter what may have happened in the past.
Affirm:
I forgive, release and respond with love.
I will love every being and all of creation with all my heart and soul until all of life is enhanced by my love.
I give the endless love God has for me; one heart, one life, one mind, one love.
After practicing Divine Love, you are sure to attract a soul mate. When you do, you will recognize your beloved because you will feel drawn to that person. My research shows that people who have met their soul mates have felt magnetically drawn to the person stronger than just an attraction. Why? Because the soul recognizes the other person on a soul level. You feel a familiarity -- like you have known the person all your life. And you have because you have been together before being incarnated on this Earth.
Master the art of loving by loving all in a sacred and holy way. Simply BE LOVE. This is the secret to attracting a soul mate and the key to everlasting joy.
Art of Love
Although I am no expert on Love, I have learned a few things in life that I want to share with you. These are lessons that I wished that my parents had told me, for it may have saved me a lot of pain. Although, perhaps there is value in the pain suffered at the hand of grueling relationships, and the soul wishes for us to grow and become more loving through these difficult life experiences. The arena of romantic love is an incredible opportunity for stretching your ability to love unconditionally.
A partner is bound to trigger some long forgotten hurts and inadequacies. These are based on your warped sense of self that was acquired from a childhood where your very own parents did not even fully know how to love. Nor did they know how to be love or teach you about the true nature of love. When we remember that our very essence is love, we stop seeking it from others and learn to be present instead. Our motivation for being in relationship shifts the moment we acknowledge that we are complete and always have been.
Consider for a minute how you are programmed from all those Hollywood movies that you must find your "other half" so that you can feel whole and complete in life. Feel how untrue that really is. Your soul knows that you are enough and have value just the way you are. You came into this world complete and perhaps the purpose for having a partner is to simply complement one another so you can each shine your gifts more brightly and enjoy the journey of life with a friend and support. Keeping that in mind, I have learned some valuable lessons about love that I want to share with you during this season of love.
*1. Love is not enough to make a relationship work.
*2. Simply be who you are and see who stays around.
*3. Love needs no defense. Give up defending your position and just be love. It is more important that you are happy than that you are right.
*4. When someone lashes out at you or you lash out at someone else it is because either they or you need love. Strive to stay in your heart and feel love for the other and / or for yourself even if they or you are unkind.
*5.You must be willing to give up control in relationships- they have a life of their own.
*6. Your happiness and self-approval does not depend on anyone else. True intimacy begins with yourself. Learn to enjoy time being alone with yourself.
*7. It is never a mistake to love. The soul knows the reasons why, even if you don't.
*8. Love without attachment and love others exactly as they are.
*9. Love is demonstrated and felt more through positive actions than through golden words.
*10. It is enough for you to be a living expression of love; you don't have to earn it.
*11. It's OK for you to say you're sorry and to accept an apology from your partner. You are both entitled to a "Do-over" when necessary.
*12. Let go of past hurts and negative beliefs about relationships and be present in love and trust with your partner.
*13. Don't ever be in too much of a hurry to hug the ones you love and to say, "I love you."
*14. The forms and actions of this world like bodies, sex, and food, may be illusions but they are made real by love. Sacred sexuality with love may very well be one of the closest experiences of knowing your Divine nature while being in a physical body.
It's Cupid, Stupid
Once again it is that time of the year when the air smells mushy and love songs galore. The love struck couples seem abundant like mushrooms and tadpoles after the rain only to dissipate quickly enough with the follow-up breakups, hopping away from their love struck cupids as they learn to jump. With the media moguls pitching in their best, with tacky ads and too-much-in-love couples, you'll be forced to get sucked into the deadly retail trap with the 'love marketing' bandwagon blowing their trumpets a notch higher than the previous year. Red roses, dresses and chocolates vanish in an abyss faster than you sneeze and say "aachoo".
So before you spend your emotions with your money, consider a few facts. The "Valentine's Day" spending is slated to hit 18.9 billion mark in the US alone. Yes! You read it correct. Now, before you spend on the usual card, chocolate, red rose, gift routine. Here's a list of a few things to consider before you swipe the card and make the purchase, do things a little 'different' this year.
List of carefully thought gifts you could look at.
1.) Dump the rose and go for the evergreen grass: By grass I don't mean marijuana, but the humble widely growing patch of garden grass. Pitch it to your beloved this way: "Honey my love is not like the red rose which withers the next day, but like the shaft of green grass which is abundant and long-lasting."
2.) Two papers and a glue stick: Stick the papers (preferably pink and heart-shaped for the desired effect) with the glue when in front of her and say "Our love is like this glue which sticks us together eternally"
3.) A pair of sharp scissors: (This is risky but deadly!) "Even if you cut me, I shall always be yours." (Told you it is risky!)
4.) A bar of butter: (Preferably at room temperature) "Baby diamonds are hard and heartless by my heart melts like this (hand over the gooey butter at this point) when I see you"
5.) A bottle of strain-remover: "Baby my love shall leave no strain on your heart even if you try and remove it with this (hand her the bottle)
Do try them at your own discretion and preferably with running shoes on in case you have to hit the door faster than you give the gift.
Love: The Special and Unique Feeling of Life
Love is a psychological sentiment which comes out like other emotional feelings like curiosity, anger etc. Through the vision of psychology, in this article, I am going to discuss two parts. The first part is about intimate love and interrelated parental and the second part is about significance and importance of love and adoration on inspiration and pair-bonding.
At the time of young age, our parents should support us with all kinds of spiritual and material foster. The most important thing is that their support should be selfless and unconditional. Otherwise, it is really hard for us to survive in this world for a longer period. Thus, it is considered that parental love is unforgettable and it is in a way similar to the intimate love as both of them are interrelated. This is the reason why we always look for the most capable and responsible guidance for our future.
We find now that our parents sometimes motivate us to know about love. I still remember my father told me that love is creativity. It's an art of living beings. If we humans are getting love in our life, that means we are blessed. We are lucky that we are getting someone's unconditional and selfless love. Thus, you can know now that our parents can easily motivate us with the benefits of love and it grows from generation to generation. They can nurture their children with good things and make them to not being a materialistic person in their life.
While parental love is important in our life, at the same time we need the basic intimate love also at a certain age. Our body needs to develop with time. With the intimate love we share our emotions, feelings to our partners. Even in a conjugal life, a wife after a certain time plays the role of a mother of her husband. She cares for him and nurtures him with all emotions. After the all day hard work, the husband finds peace in the lap of his wife, which he used to get before in his mother's lap. So, now it can be seen that parental love and conjugal love are really interrelated.
Every living being at a certain moment enjoys the universal feeling of love. If we talk about the living beings, you can see that even animals also know the touch of love. As an example, it is seen that a mother dog also cares and protects her babies. So, this feeling is not only for human beings, it is rather felt by each and every living being.
It is basically related biologically and rotates in a circle. When a child is born, the parents forget everything except taking care of him/her. They find their life in nurturing the baby. They spend their whole life in it. After the baby grows up, he/she finds his/her life partner and then it rotates in a biological structure.
Even according to Mahatma Gandhi, love is life. So, every person should find his/her life and enjoy it throughout their life. Remember that love can make your life heavenly. So, you should never waste your feelings.
Be happy and love your loved ones!
Love Is What Love Does
If there is any word in this world that has lost its place in relationships, it's love. The world has substituted love for everything from people, to money, careers, things, sex, feelings, etc. The saddest thing about it, the replacements has crept their way to church. Most relationships among the people of God are now a reflection of what's in the world rather than a replica of what's in the Word. Love itself has not changed. It is built solely on your acts-what you do, what you give-your every act of kindness.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son... " St John 3:16 NIV
Love is verified through deeds of kindness. It hasn't lost its luster, its purpose, its drive, or its assignment. It has and always will do what it was originally intended to do. In order to receive the complete manifestation of it, we have to give up our own selfish, inconsiderate and insensitive perception and definition of love and take on the real genuine meaning of it. For the bible defines love as God.
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love." 1 John 4:8 NIV
Love's definition is so plain and simple, but its people who have made it so complex. In this is generation, most efforts to find love are initiated with dreams of settling down with the fine biceps, nice body, beautiful hair, and that exceptionally financial-friendly person, not realizing that this mindset of settling down is rather more in lines of settling for the imitation version of love. Understand that having someone who's handsome and beautiful with money is not the problem. The dilemma is failing to decipher what takes precedence over the other in relationship. Do they love you? or have they fallen head-over-hills in love with what you have? This is not a gender-specific error, for it applies to male and female. People have simply reconstructed the meaning of love and its attributes to fit them and their own personal agenda, and wonder why relationships often result in death. Understand that when it comes to building anything, especially relationships, the initial start of the construction, the foundation, influences the assembly of the entire building. If your relationship foundation is built on anything other than the things that's designed to make it durable and stand against the poundings of the heat, rain, and winds, it will sooner or later tumble. At some point, no matter how good it looks, or appear to others, it will come down. How your life of love is built matters.
"Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it... " Psalm 127:1 KJV
What Bait Are You Using to Attract Love?
On a journey for love, we have a tendency to display the very thing we want others to like or love about us most. For example, women and men alike, whether consciously or subconsciously, tend to highlight tangible things such as cars, homes, money, etc.; financial statuses, physical physiques, careers, and ministry are included. Please don't misinterpret this to suggest that all those things carry no weight in relationships, because to a certain degree they do. However, on a search for love, the thing you really need to place emphasis on most is the real genuine qualities of you-no makeup, body parts, financial status, or anything of such. Displaying all these outer qualities draws attention away from the real you. Therefore, leading others to love what you do best; enticing them to place emphasis on your body parts, careers, and monetary status more than you. At the end of the day, when real love comes, it's looking for you. This rings true in all relationships, whether seeking a spouse, friend, job, business, or even relationships in ministry. You'd be surprised to the many people who falls in love with the idea of marriage or the wedding more so than the person they're marrying or married to. Many relationships are held together by finances; as many are also intact as long as he or she retains their physical physique. You must remember that the adhesive you use to hold your relationship together will fasten as long as you use the right glue. If the glue you use loses its ability to stick, whatever's held together by it is at risk of falling apart. With that being said, to ensure real genuine love in your relationships, take advantage of the glue, the love, the God that's able to make it stick and last. This is the love that is defined and generated by God.
Your Relationship with God Reflects
Your relationship with God is a direct reflection of your relationship with others. For that reason, the bible requires us to love God first, then others as we would ourselves. Rightly so, we're not ready to love others until we learn how to love God. For loving God teaches us how to love ourselves as well as others. If your love for others is out of alignment or not in the right perspective, then your relationship with God is the same-questionable. We must be careful and intentional about not choosing to make a life with people who do not have a relationship with God. On the other hand, it's just as risky to pursue relationships with those who do love God, while lacking in that area yourself. That will attract major turmoil for both involved. If he has problems loving God, he'll have problems loving the people or daughter of God. We're conceding to allow others to love us according to the world's standards and not the Word's when we don't strategize in relationships. Don't choose to accept reduced or imitation love over the abundant kind of love that only comes from God. If it means having to wait on the Lord, then wait.
"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends... " 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV
Love Is A Gift
The one thing that makes loves hard to understand is the fact that we try to understand it with the mind while we can only understand it by heart. Love is a gift that God granted to us so freely by giving His only son to save us from sin. We in turn naturally extend this love to people around us and even though you could end up loving two people in two different ways, it is love nonetheless. There is really nothing that is more beautiful than to have the ability to love others and nothing feels better than to have others love you.
Where do we go wrong?
Today love appears overrated and not very many people know how it really feels to love and to give love as the gift that it is supposed to be. By trying to love using our heads, we have ended up sliding love into sexuality and when this happens, we lose the true meaning of love. Most people today are those that love expecting something in return but love as a gift should be given without expecting anything in return. When we end up having expectations simply because we love, then getting disappointed is easy which explains why there are so many sad and unhappy relationships today.
When you love, then you will want the best for the other person and you wouldn't be too inclined in what they give back to you. Actually the fact remains that not many people will make you feel appreciated for the good you do onto them and when you focus on this lack, then you could even lose your ability to love and appreciate people around you. Love should be given as a gift in that you do it to make others happy and to make them feel you care without really hoping that they will gift you back. When you are able to give love happily and without any expectations, then you will definitely be more fulfilled and content.
How to love
Before anything else, you must learn to love yourself before you can love people around you. When you love yourself, you will feel happy whether you are single, in a relationship or in a marriage. Marriages based on love survive the test of time compared to those unions that are based on other conveniences they offer such as financial stability. To love yourself, concentrate on your traits and accept any flaws you are not comfortable with. When you accept yourself for the person you are then you will be confident and content, hence making it easier for you to extend the love to people around you.
Feeling inadequate can have negative effects on your confidence and self-esteem and this affects your view of love and how you give it. By accepting the person you are, you will know your worth and you will also manage to see others for who they are regardless of their flaws. When this balance is achieved, you most definitely will be able to share love as valuable gift.
How Millennials Of Divorced Parents Can Avoid Following In Their Parents' Footsteps
People (faith conscious Millennials specifically) needed to know that there is someone who completely understands why they might be concerned about the future. Being able to have relationships that connect in a way that is sustainable over a lifetime is vital to a healthy marriage.
Faith conscious Millennials know that they absolutely MUST change their perspective on love if they want to change the trajectory of marriage in their own life. The trouble is, they don't know where to start.
Two Kinds Of Couples
After a decade of practical coaching, researching and studying marriage and family dynamics, this is what I've noticed as the difference between those who stay together, and those who don't.
When two people marry they, generationally speaking, continue repeating their parents unhealthy habits even when they don't want to. Subconsciously they go back to what they know because it's whats comfortable, like a dirty diaper. Even though a dirty diaper stinks, we've adapted to wearing the same thing over and over again because it's what we're use to. Often these couples end up in a divorce just like their parents.
When two unhealthy people marry who are consciously aware that making the choice to change their subconscious beliefs take work, and they're willing to do whatever it takes to create a healthy environment, they become difference makers that not only stay together, but also change the world around them.
Why Some People Never Change
Those who don't want to take personal responsibility to grow will often argue, "Who's to say whats healthy and what isn't? The term "healthy" can be subjective from a relational sense."
Though that may be true, I speak of a healthy love that is rare, one that removes pride, bitterness, greed, gossip, addictions, criticisms and that takes personal responsibility for showing up BEING love, instead of demanding love. This takes work, and often financial resources, to create a healthy environment.
You might be asking if this environment would still be possible if only one person in the relationship were to choose a healthier lifestyle but the other refused? My answer will always be yes. It is still possible, but it takes twice as much conviction on the part of the one who is making healthier decisions to stick with it. My own life was a direct reflection of that.
My husband believes he can only go so far with healthy choices before he will turn back around to what he's use to. I can't fault him for doing what is more comfortable when we're all guilty of the same thing. This is simply human nature. The choice I had to make was whether or not it was worth the risk to do what I needed to do to stay healthy without him, rather than go backward to what might leave us divorced someday. Was it risky? You bet.
My husband is a woodworker, and an overall handyman. He is amazingly talented and a complete perfectionist in his work. He also believes that in relationships, "good is good enough". I find this quite interesting when he is a complete perfectionist about everything else. (For the record, being a perfectionist adds its own level of unhealthy) Both my husband and I came from unhealthy environments, and the truth is, he doesn't care to work as hard as I do on relationships in general. So 'good' is actually as good as it'll ever get to him.
Settling or Strengthening
Does this mean that I'm settling by staying? Not one bit. I chose to marry the only man I've ever loved. I made a covenant between God and myself to stay committed to him and live in unity. This takes an extra dose of conviction on my part to be intentional about my choices. I don't allow pitfalls or excuses to keep us stuck in unhealthy sinful habits, nor allow beliefs about who we are as a couple derail us from staying together and finding joy. My husband loves this strength in me and knows it's what binds us together. But every strength can also become a weakness if we're not paying attention. By my stepping back and allowing him the space to step up and take responsibility as the leader in our home, we each do our part to make the marriage work in a healthy way.
No matter what we've been through, we are content, and (most of the time) quite happy to stay married for the rest of our lives.
Millennials Pay Attention Here
I'm speaking directly to single or newly married Millennials: do not buy into the philosophy that 'good is good enough'. When you feel your relationship is good enough, you stop growing. There is no moving forward. There is simply doing the same things you've always done while you keep getting the same results you've always gotten. I can assure you that this thought is part of what contributes to divorce. Always keep learning about what make a great marriage.
Be Content
Absolutely be content in all thing, but always choose to give your very best to your significant other just like you did when you began to win them over. If you will remember that loving differently than your examples did is ALWAYS worth the risk, then you may soon see success. You will STILL have ups and downs no matter what, but you'll be able to get through them in a much healthier way, the only way... together.
I've already seen drastic changes in the Millennials I serve. Jenica went from a legalistic life to one of complete freedom and joy. Tim became a successful leader once he stopped looking through the eyes of fear and started looking through the eyes of love. Gertrude created schools in her village that transformed her entire country through educating 157 needy children, who would otherwise not have food to eat, much less an education. It all began with The Kellie Frazier Kindergarten.
My points is too small and the value is going down.......
Not a great day for me guys...
The Jealous Lover
As I woke up this morning, I had His presence hit me, and the Holy Spirit said..."I am a Jealous God" and rather than just listen and wait upon HIM... I just got up and went downstairs... went over to the kettle, threw it on for a coffee and went to just look outside. And I had that rise on me again. I shrugged it off as I had my schedule to keep, have brekkie then rush to put dinner on so my beautiful wife didn't have to do as much on Mothers day. I reasoned... "don't have to do anything today, Carol said it all about Mother's yesterday"... As the day progressed I still had an immense pressure from Him and Exodus 20:4-6 came to me.
"You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them, for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sins of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments."
Jealousy is always associated with love. And I say to you this day, The Lord Your God is Captivated by YOU. He's Jealous over you. He doesn't want your eyes roaming onto any other love or interest.
Reflect upon lovers and their love...
They love to-
~anticipate the intimacy together~to be alone together~to be so close they can feel each others heartbeat~to find delight in every aspect of each others lives~to move together~to listen to each others voice~to share the burdens of their hearts to each other~to share the secrets of their hearts to each other~to speak life to each other and look forward, setting goals.
Where is Jesus in your life? Is the Holy Spirit of the Most High Living God still the one who woo's your heart? Or has another love stepped in ever so slowly? The Lord is calling us out... are we allowing Him our time, thoughts and attention? Or barely acknowledging the One who is shaking you from your slumber and awakening your soul back to your first love.
I saw people who are turning a blind eye to whats captured their hearts, and are damaging themselves. Re-shaping what HE has called... and willingly running from "being living sacrifices" who are humble, submitted and pleasing to God. Turn, face what has you bound, own it and come into a place of peace. 1 John 15-17.
You're Made for More, You're Made As Love
It's time for My queens to arise. It's time for My girls to stand and take their place. When a woman speaks all stand in attention. She shall speak with strength and I will show Myself through her words. I long to fill your life and I long to serve your desires. I AM your Love. You are my life.
When the queen walks in the room, all stand to attention more than even the king. They respect and honor her above all, for life comes out of her. She carries herself with honor and dignity, she reigns in righteousness and truth. She rules with honesty and love and she executes judgment because of love. She grows in dignity and strength from the love of her King. She is molded into the image of the heart of the Father.
The world stands in attention to a lady that is crowed with My love, that walks in the newness of life that I provided for her. I AM the light she walks in, I AM her beauty and I AM the glow that shines from within her.
I AM the love of her life and I AM the life of her heart. I AM her eternal King and her first love.The queen gives honor to her king and he draws on the light of her life. His strength shines in her shadow for I AM her light and I AM what fills her. You see it's not the woman, that looks to the man to fill her. It is the woman, that walks in my light and knows her worth found only in Me that the man draws his strength from and he is filled through her. His courage comes from her love. She is the aid that enables his life and pushes him forward but her strength is not found in him. It is found only in ME and when I fill her and she abides in My love, she will strengthen her family with the bond of love I have given her.
The strength of life comes from the woman. When the woman tries to find her worth in her husband and tries to fill him without Me, she will find herself empty and longing for a love he can't possibly give her. I AM the love of her life. I AM the gift giver and I gave her as a gift, as a help, for man could not endure without that love I placed in her that only she can give him. She is mine for she came right out of MY heart.
Why is a woman more committed than a man in many places? Because she holds the bond of love that I poured out into her to release to her husband and her family to the world I sent her to heal with My love. When the woman at the well came to Me, she was empty and void of the love that only I could give her. The love she was foreordained to be sustained by so she could be the strength that holds the family together.
She couldn't find that in a man and without me, they couldn't find love within her. Without me, she can give nothing. Without Me, her efforts are empty and her heart is void. I AM the love of her life. My name is JESUS. Her worth is found in Me and when she doesn't know that, she will never be filled and her husband will never be filled because I am the bond that connects them and I do it through her.
You are my daughter and I love you. The light of My love shines toward you, you are the apple of my eye and the breath of lips. You are my life and the light of my heart. You are my little girl, the jewel of my crown. I have ordained you to show my love to the nations. My glory is found and revealed through My love.
I AM love, I AM light, I AM your life and your worth is found in me. Oh my love, my precious daughter. I gave up My crown so you could wear it, I gave up My Throne so you could sit with me, I gave you my life so you could live in me. I am the one that fills you, I am the one that sustains you, I AM the One that holds you. I AM your King and I am your life. You are my vessel of truth and honor and My true love is to shine through you. You are my expression of Love, your softness, your shine, your exuberance comes from me.
My daughters need to arise as the queens they are so my sons can be the kings I purposed them to be and you reign in this life together. There is no king without the light of his queen.
I AM your King and YOU are my queen. You are my light and I AM yours.
Stop Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
From our early teens we all have our own idea of what love is; the one thing that is not in conflict is everyone begins searching for it. Is there a method to the madness of chasing something that for many seems elusive? Are you one of those people who always seem to feel you have somehow landed or fallen for the wrong person, leaving you on the hurting end of love? There are some guidelines that do more than make sense.
1) If you don't want a partner who drinks or parties, don't go to a bar, nightclub or racy party to meet one. Confine your serious search to workplaces, local gatherings, restaurants and other random opportunities.
2) If cheaters don't appeal to you, refuse to be involved with anyone who is cheating on someone else to be with you. If you attempt to fool yourself into believing they love you too much to do that, understand that is what their current partner thought. Cheaters cheat.
3) Hate deceitful people? Don't gloss over untruthful statements your partner is inclined to make. They are not small white lies or offered for entertainment. They are lies. Liars lie. If you find yourself telling your friends your partner always tells you something that turns out to be less than truthful, you're dating a liar.
4) Feel like you are being treated like you are second class? Accepting behavior that is less than caring and respectful is construed as your agreement to be treated as less than the King or Queen you deserve to be in your relationship. Never accept the idea that you are lucky to have your partner and therefore will tolerate less than you deserve. No one belongs on a pedestal that high. Find someone who meets you on equal ground and loves who you are.
5) Don't settle for any long-term relationship with a person who is not capable and intent on seeing the very best in you and helping you see the same. Find someone you feel the same way about. Couples who uplift each other contribute to one another's happiness and create lasting relationships.
One last thing; if you pay attention to people they will tell you who they are. People often voice their own weaknesses by stating how much they hate that attribute in others. They hate the reflection of their own weakness projected back at them.
People who are mistrustful may be less than trustworthy. We all judge our expectations of others by what we would do in a similar situation. Want to know if they will lie, steal or cheat? Listen to their assessment of the behavior they expect from someone else in a situation that would promote those things!
@zyrich
