My Story ~ Asking For Help
I don't know about asking people for help, I grew up doing my thing on my own, all by myself.
To me, calling on people for help made me look weak, I knew I could do these thing on my own if I set my mind on it and I am determined so why bug someone else about it?
Asking for help or assistance was more like a taboo for me, a word in my vocabulary I never made use of.
I could go on panicking about a thing but I will still find my way around it, and if I can't, I have the internet to assist me.
I actually loved myself that way, I could search up information on my own, discover things on my own and do whatever I wanted to do by myself. And I didn't ever think anything I would need help with wouldn't be found on the net except a few things like running into financial challenges that require a little bit of an assistance per cash.
And that was the worst of it all, I grew up believing asking people for money is a way of telling them, hey, you can use me as you please simply because of this favor or debt so I made sure I never owe any human a dime.
And because of this, I often rejected genuine favour and offers because I just didn't want to be associated with anyone all in the name of help of any kind, especially from the opposite sex.
Receiving things from men has always been a challenge to me from age 10 or so. I remember promising myself never to allow men have their way through me with flashy things and gifts and this includes their help.
I loathed men for trying to please me with their money and all, so I never gave anyone a chance to help me with anything.
Fast forward to 2020, I met a new friend, and this very person changed my mindset about allowing people to assist and help me in a way they can and not feeling burdened about it or feel indebted to them.
I still wasn't comfortable with that idea and so I shared my story of not ever asking for help or allowing people to help me. I usually struggle on my own until I find my way out of something or around something and with this many don't really know the things I've been up to or struggling to do on my own.
He said it wasn't the best thing to do, he made me understand I could always ask for help from the right source and people. He told me how allowing people to lend a helping hand can make the work easier and less cumbersome for me and guess what? I gave in into that thought.
I let my guard down and I started feeling it was okay to just run to him for help whenever I wanted. Yes, he made me feel that way though in the virtual world.
Whenever a particular task was laid before me which cause me to panic, I always run to this person to help me out with it, and just like my former friend Google he did always have an answer to almost all my questions, he helped make the work easier for me just as he said.
And guess what again? This made me become very lazy, I didn't research on my own again, whenever there was something to do or work on, I always have this person in mind to run to for help, my mind was already configured to the person that had the right answers and that he wouldn't fail me. This continued for a while until I realized this wasn't helping me in any way, though it helped ease my burden and save me the time and struggles but it was eating me up somehow.
Fast forward to a few days back, I ran to this same person asking for help on something. I was new to this particular route and I wanted a guide on it.
Let's say this happened like 7 days ago, I asked for help on the second (2) day which we assume to be Tuesday, and while trying everything the person asked me to do I still couldn't set up the thing I wanted to and I got really confused about the whole thing which was frustrating me to some extend cause I hated trying to do something over and over again but the result remain the same. So after a day or two, I went back to tell the person I couldn't get the result of what I wanted and that I followed all the guidelines he gave but still didn't get there.
And what did I get in return?
Oh well, this isn't for you, and other things I can't mention
I was like, for real? Is this actually coming from you? He yelled at me for not getting the so simple and easy thing for about three days already. God knows I felt dumb, stupid, and every other word you could put together. For the mere fact that he made it feel like I was a burden to him or I was disturbing his peace by bugging him about the small thing, he assumes others would have gotten in an hour or even less.
He even painted to my face that I claim to be what I am not, and by that I mean, claiming to be knowledgeable about a particular thing when I don't even have an idea about little things like this. I was hurt, and yes I cried for a few minutes.
I don't like people shouting at me or more or less making me look stupid and all when I've put in all my effort to make anything work to my best ability. I felt I should have never approached him for help.
Though he didn't actually mean to hurt me with his words or actions or make me feel the way I do but like they say; people only make you feel the way you do because you let them so I actually did allow myself to feel that way and I felt like a burden. Though I made him understand this feeling and why I wasn't getting the whole thing at first which wasn't entirely my fault, he apologized and said he didn't know either but did it change the fact that he already caused me pain just for approaching him to ask for help? No! It didn't change that. I forgave him and I moved on.
I don't know if, after that moment, I took up my No asking for help! garment again. But I don't think one bad experience would make me block ways to receiving favor from others and letting them help me too when necessary.
Come on! One time hurts but the next wouldn't hurt as much. Don't shy away from asking for help because you are afraid of people yelling at you, calling you names, or making you feel and look stupid for not knowing a particular.
Remember no one is an island and we all need others to succeed in life.
These are the words I said to myself and I will constantly be reminded of them.
It's okay to ask for help, never feel like it's out of place to seek help when you get stuck.
Be humble, receive the shame, and take the claps but be sure to learn something in the process.
Special shout out to one of my friends @didiee for always laying down her crowns😃😁 and asking for help whenever she gets stuck not minding what others would say to her, especially from me cause I don't spare her the lashes😂😅
To my faithful readers and wonderful sponsors, my heart goes out to you guys. Thank you for making my journey here a fun-filled and exciting one. Thanks for trusting and supporting my work too. I pray that God blesses you all real good :)
26 May 2022
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Thursday
