The mastery of self-deception is never exhausted

Have you ever wondered why you react the same way to a similar event over and over again, even though you know the consequences will be bad? Have you ever thought about how your brain rationalizes your behavior? Something happens, you react, and then the brain comes up with a rationale to explain the behavior that results from that reaction.

For example, you get angry at work when you can't find the report you were working on. You blame your company for not giving you enough work space, or the cleaning staff for moving things around, or your boss or manager for giving you this ridiculous task. All the while, you don't accept the fact that you are impatient because you are tired, you suppress your unhappiness with your work or your life... So, how can you stay calm when your emotions are triggered, what can you do when it comes to emotional triggers?

It may seem like it's small things like not being able to find your report or moving things around that make you feel bad and angry, but these emotional reactions to these situations that cause you to self-sabotage are the resurfacing of the effects of past events. 

Many of us have irrational, emotional responses when faced with situations that trigger our emotions, and more often than not, we either deceive ourselves or hurt ourselves because of the inaccuracy of our responses.

Instead of seeing yourself as a victim, accept your power. This is the only way to stop cheating yourself. When you explore what triggers you to feel that way, you also have a chance to feel differently. You will also have a clearer perspective on what you need to do or what you need to change. What would your life be like if you controlled your reactions? How free would you feel if you lived your life according to your own choices? If the answers to these questions inspire you, then you can move on to the next step.

When your breathing quickens or your muscles suddenly tense, when you feel a sudden pressure in your stomach or chest, stop and ask yourself what you are feeling and why you are feeling this way. Do not judge or fear your feelings. If you fail to recognize your feelings, you will not be able to change them and they will continue to negatively affect your relationships, your performance at work, your happiness and enjoyment of life.

Do you feel that you have lost something or that you are not getting something you deserve or want? When our strengths that help us in life are not satisfied, they become the biggest emotional triggers. When you feel that these strengths are being taken away from you or that circumstances are depriving you of them, your emotions are triggered. The sooner you recognize that your emotions are being triggered in this way, the sooner you can recognize whether the threat is real or not.

But this is not to say that emotional needs in life are bad. Everyone has needs in life because these needs serve the person at some point. For example, your experience may tell you that to succeed in life you need control, a safe environment and people around you who support you. But the more you get attached to your needs to be in control, to be safe and to look smart, the more your brain starts to search for threats to these needs. These threats, or the lack of fulfillment of these needs, will trigger your emotions.

Over time, with practice, you can make your emotions less triggered, but don't expect them to disappear completely. The best thing you can do is to recognize when an emotion is triggered and then choose what you want to say or do.

Sometimes you need to stop controlling or managing your emotions. Instead, you can try to feel differently. This is how you can achieve emotional freedom.