It was December, I'm excited not because Cristmas is coming but it's the first day of work. Breeze gave us chill as we wait for the bus just outside from our accommodation, other staff are noisy chatting to each other. Bus came and here I am just standing like I don't want to start the reality. But, I have my dream so I step and ready to rack.
We arrived on this prestigious company and I'm so amazed with the beauty of the building. They guided us to a small meeting room where this new joiner induction will happen. We're like 20 people in the room, I was checking each staff and I can see that most of them have this smile on their face. Suddenly, my gaze turn to a guy whose also looking at me, I smiled, but his just staring at me so I just remove my gaze on him.
As day passes by, we more knew each other, we do serious activity and funny play even. But it caught my attention this staring guy, it's like his scared on me but I always find his eye on me. I just ignored it, induction done and we need to face now the reality.
As a week finished, I more enjoy my work, I gain more friends. Then suddenly this starring guy message me, the way he make conversation makes me interested on him, his smart and like a wisdom talker. We became friends but I noticed that his caring a lot. Then one evening he asked if he can court me but I deny it. He didn't stop there, he still continue to show that I'm special but I made boundery. I have priorities and love is not one of them, but he didn't stop and he makes me change my mind. We became lovers.
Days, weeks, months and year passes by. It was beyond perfect our relation we're having fight maximum of 2 days and his always there fixing it and making more the relation stronger.
I admired him a lot, he teach me to become more responsible colleague and even a loving daughter. Life challenge came, I transfer to different company for my own growth. He never change even we're apart from each other, after a month I transfered from our previous work. He also leave from there but still our relation becoming stronger. I'ts very hard that we can't see each other everyday as we used to it but we're trying to be together every week.
Everything is perfect, everything still the same but suddenly there this stories from our previous work telling my boyfriend slept with other lady. Of course, I can't believed on it, he showed lot of love and care, his not only my boyfriend but my bestfriend. We knew each other for a years that we're together and I was sure that he can't do that to me. I was so sure. Stories is coming like it happened I was paranoid already. I kept asking on him but he kept on denying. Stories makes me believe on it, that I just want to leave him. Then again he showed lot of love, he transfered again here in my current job even his position will start again from scratch. He gave up his career to be with me, in his action I believed him again but It never stop me to think about the cheating thing.
A friend of mine from our previous work accidentaly said something that make me feel agony again. I make my own move to know the truth. I catch him off guard but still he kept on denying, but I'm not yet done, I want to know what really happened. I broke up with him and makes him believe that I slept also to a guy who really likes me. I make kiss mark on my body and send the picture of revenge. I lied, to know the truth and for him to feel what he did to me. I make him believed my story then he finally said sorry. He confirm it, it happen before he transfer. They did from the room where we make memories he said their drunk and the lady kissed him.
The worst thing is, they did two times they where at the bar and one of his friend makes him drunk again and makes him use the room he book for his girlfriend. I confirmed also that the lady really likes him and she even asked if he can broke up with me. Now, I'm still with him, I want him to feel the sorrow he gave to me, but, seems like it's coming back the pain. I told him I might get pregnant from the other guy. I saw the pain on his eyes and he just said " It's my fault why you did it, you want me to feel the pain and it is too much now but if you gonna be pregnant it's ok with me. I will take the responsiblity. I will never leave you".
I'm confused from hatred, love and agony. I'm trying to save the relation. I'm trying to accept and just forget it. I'm trying to be a loving girlfriend again. I'm trying to care. I want to believe on him again as he never forgot to show the love he gave to me from the first day. But, I can't. Everytime I see him, I feel nothing and I'm scared of that.