No, I'm not going and will never change my mind

Few days ago, I posted about an anticipated travel with the family to Valencia on 15th to celebrate my grandpa's birthday along with other family members who also share the same birth month. I was excited back then but I realized that travel could drain money and I and my husband had other priorities to attend to and spend money on.

Actually, it was my sister who is very excited to go, she likes adventures and even bought a drone to record videos for her Facebook reels which hasn't gained a penny because she said she cannot blog on hive because her followers is on the other platform and also, she does not know how to write in English very well. I pity her for not doing so when she cooks a lot, which is a good entry for foodies beehive, she crafts a lot which is a great entry for needlework Monday and hive diy communities and she has the whole day to make blogs and interact with other hivers if she only wanted to and willing to learn.

The days are nearing and I and my husband discussed about not going; first, the money we had on hand I prefer to invest on the farm instead of going on travel, last time we went on march during the reunion is that I spent over 5kpesos for food and transportation even though my nephew and I got 50/50 on the expenses.

I honestly spend some of my hive income that time and yeah, I did have regrets even though I kept convincing myself it was worth it. It was never worth it, honestly in every aspect where I look back at it. I had great adventures that time though and 70% of them were not shared in hive yet.

This week, my uncle decided to cut a mahogany tree that is a risk to the community, the trunk has a hole and it was too big already and would probably collapse of strong winds would come. My husband saw and opportunity and asked his friend who has a chain saw to cut the wood for door jam, which my uncle needed for the house he will build, my husband paid for the cutting and had most of the usable wood.

This is one of the things we used the money for. The wood he had he will use on repairing my mother's house, and he planned on replacing the roof which is very leaky. Everytime it rains, my mum puts pails and even huge casserole to help her catch the Rian water so it will not be muddy inside her house.

My sister saw this problem and never even allocated money to repair it. I hope she'll choose her priorities wisely soon.

This weekend, we planned on planting corn too and that's where I think our savings will run out but I hope, I really hope and pray that God will guide and bless us with our investments to provide for our parents.

Lately, I and my husband realized that our hardwork is not really for us to elevate in life, though we could use our income to have a better, and more comfortable living just like others do but we always look back at our parents and we see their hardships, especially my mum. Her daily expenses were a struggle and often borrows from us to buy chicken feeds and to pay for her transportation.

I don't know but she used to have a boarding house, in fact she still has them now but stopped accepting boarders because she doesn't like other people around and even sacrificed her income which has helped her a lot. But perhaps she is discouraged because sis wouldn't stop asking her to buy this and that when she knows she has cash. I know she gives too but I wanted my mum to have her income all to herself and I wanted her to relax, to stop her labor and live like a princess and not a maid;

I haven't told my mum I'm not going yet, only my sis but last night she forwarded me my sister's message who was near my grandpa and says grandpa wanted us over and was crying but no, I'm not going and will never change my mind. His birthday will happen even with us not around and if they wanted to go, they could go without us and my kids would stay too.

I felt pressured, I know she would insist and I projected that mum will convince me to go. I have this rebellion inside but I would try to be nice to say no tomorrow.

Anyways, I am thankful that the husband thinks kindly of my mum to spend his money and effort on her house repairs. I am honestly hurt by it because the nephew and other siblings just couldn't see it and couldn't even see how hard her life was like.

Life is a roller coaster of happiness, excitement and disappointments but despite all that, always have the source of happiness from the people and things that you love!

This will be all for today, thanks you for your never ending support always!

All text and images are mine and this blog post is AI free

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