Pain is inevitable; suffering is a choice - anonymous

proverb above is easy to say but hard to do especially when it was you om someone's shoes

Two of my online friends lost their sons not too long ago and it hurts me so much and it is making me so afraid too. The mothers are still grieving and I pray that God will send comfort their way.

I knew it in my heart that losing someone you love is painful, I lost my father and it broke my heart yet they say nothing compares to the pain a mother would feel if they lost their child.

I could not imagine the pain, my mother lost her oldest son so young at 7 years old in a most impossible way. He drowned on a knee deep water and float up in the water even if it was just less than an hour after death.

My mother was devastated and she said it took her too long to recover and I am glad she had or else I would not be here.

That thought of my mother losing my brother became a core memory of mine dictating my instinct to take care of my kids to the point that I overthink a lot and it becane a habbit since I nanny my nephews and nieces way back in my younger years.

I became a supermom of my own, I do a chore in one hand while holding the child in the other; my right eye is watching my work but my left keep the child monitored. My right ear I use to for work and the left I use to listen to the kids, knowing what they were doing.

I saved my kids from fall and hurt many times, yet my husband did a quarople. If possible I don't want them get hurt and most of all, I don't want them to die. And I guess no mother wants their child
dead, protect them with their lives instead but we all know that God is the author of our lives and we could not do anything against his will.

I could not remember how many times I kept extension wires out of child's reach, how many times I kept sharp objects out of their hand and out of the way, I could not count how many times I hanged the child by grabbing his clothes to prevent them from falling.

The news I received gave me so much fear of losing.

I'm so sorry for your loss, sisters, I pray your hearts will find comfort soon.

All texts and images are mine please do not copy. Images taken using my Huawei Y9s edited using Inshot photo editor.

See you around.

This article was originally posted here