Longing for Love: Praying for Illness

Lately, I have been experiencing headaches which sometimes doesn't go away when taken with paracetamol. It gives me sleepless nights because all I can feel is the pain, tossing myself in bed, using pillows and puttingbit fon the side.

Those sleepless nights made re remember about the silliest and stupidest prayer that I everbmade because I was longin for my parent's attention and love.

I was in the sixth grade at that time when my sister slide and fell in our comfort room and it gave her headaches and made her weak. So my parent's attention was on her. I, who love smy family was acting like a nurse, tending rhier needs and all even with how young I was. Yhen there came a time that I got sick, and no one was there for me. With all the strength that I have, even when the world feels spinning, I carried my butt out to the nearest store and bought medicine for fever.

I was in puberty atvthat time and so emotions flooded and I felt so lonely. My parents are so into work yo catch up woth rhe family's financial needs, my oldest sister has her own family, next to her is in the city, being a working stident in college, next to her is having her own world being so grumpy with her headaches.

Then I did the stupidest prayer that I did. I prayed for an illness, a cancer or something that will make me very weak and will draw everybody's attention to me and take care of me. Of course I didn't know how painful cancer was and how expensive it is to cure such illness at that time but that was my prayer.

I was thankful that it didn't happen though. I know God loves me so.

I have forgotten about that prayer until last night. Things were different now, I don't wantbit anymore, nor any sickness that will come to me and my family especially my kids. Every now and then I pray for good health, especially that Covid is a huge threat to everybody now.

I have witnessed that God answers prayers in His time, but I pray that He will not give that prayer to me. My worries is that my kids are still so small and they needed me to provide for them and to guide them through thier life and especially, I wanted to personally tell then about Christ's salvation when they can already understand things in life. I wouldn't want them to be in party houses, disco clubs and bars and be with different men or women in thier lives. I would not want them in hell someday when the judgment will come, that's would be my biggest fear in life.

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