Yesterday while waiting for the water to boil for coffee, I was scrolling on Facebook and found an intriguing post where my ex-co-worker was tagged. The post says sad lines about a baby that died; I did not care much and scrolled after reading because I never assumed anything.

Vilma gave birth last November 2021 and she had visited here when she was still pregnant. I like her and I care a lot for her; she is a neighbor of my sister who lives in Valencia Bukidnon which makes me more caring for her.

Way back when she applied to the company where I work, she was assigned to the farm because she is a Bachelor of Science in Agriculture major in Animal Science graduate. On the farm, she is found a lover and was issued by her co-worker there that she had been going to the bathroom with the guy. Somebody backstabbed her and texted the boss, but the main office does not want to let her go because she is good at doing her work. She was then reassigned to the main office and after a few months, the backstabber resigned and Vilma found out about her, she was heartbroken to find out because the backstabber comforted her when the issue was still hot on the farm.

When I was reassigned to the feed mill department, Vilma took a board exam and stopped working, she went back home and married thus she then had a baby.

But a devastating event happened, the baby died yesterday and that made my heart heavy that I wanted to cry. I asked my co-worker here who had a video call with her earlier today, and she said that the child was teething and having mild fever and cough which is normal for the kids; my kids were like that too. But the child was having diarrhea and was vomiting and they took the baby to the hospital but is already having a convulsion then everything went bad so fast.

If you look at the picture below, you would not expect her to be sick or dying. The father was the most devastated but it was the mother that had a strong bond with the child. I just pray that God will give them strength for the darkest hours of their life.

Source:

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=3113414238922492&set=pcb.3113417558922160

I felt a heavy heart with what happened because I have three kids and even if they are past this stage, I still fear losing them that is why I am very vigilant of everything that they do and check them regularly especially when they are not feeling so well.

Do you know this song by Eric Clapton? My husband got curious about the story behind this one and searched about it to better understand the song. He then shared it with me last Friday.

Tears In Heaven

Song by Eric Clapton

Lyrics

Would you know my name?
If I saw you in heaven
Would it be the same?
If I saw you in heaven

I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Would you hold my hand?
If I saw you in heaven
Would you help me stand?
If I saw you in heaven

I'll find my way
Through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay
Here in heaven

Time can bring you down
Time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart
Have you begging please
Begging please

Beyond the door
There's peace, I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more
Tears in heaven

Would you know my name?
If I saw you in heaven
Would you be the same?
If I saw you in heaven

I must be strong
And carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Will Jennings / Eric Patrick Clapton

Tears In Heaven lyrics © Blue Sky Rider Songs, E C Music Ltd

Eric's son died which inspired him to write this song and this is where the heaviness of my heart started.

source:

https://www.guitarworld.com/features/tragedy-inspires-eric-claptons-tears-heaven

In 1991, following the death of his son, Conor, Eric Clapton collaborated with songwriter Will Jennings to write "Tears in Heaven." The song is a memorial to Conor, who at four years old, fell 50 stories to his death from a New York City apartment building. Horribly affected by the death of his son, Clapton went into reclusion for several months before returning to work on the soundtrack to the film Rush. Clapton recruited Jennings to help him finish the song for the soundtrack.

Losing someone you care about is not easy. You can say that they are lucky to go ahead of us so that won't struggle in life anymore or maybe they will not feel the pain anymore but it still hurts. We long for them and it makes us miss them even more. The memories are there following, hunting and making us remember them every time.

Losing my kids is now my greatest fear. My mother once lost her eldest child when he was still 7 years old (that was long before I was born) and it devastated her but I am glad that she is strong enough to recover over the years. hey said when a child dies, he will be in heaven for there is the kingdom of God, but the question is will I go there too? Shall I see them those who I cared for and went ahead to rest in peace? Will they know me and will I know them? You know, I keep praying about not losing anyone that I love but that is the reality of life, everyone must go.

All those thoughts and news made it unbearable for me so I took a lone time for myself to cry for them and to ease the burden of my heavy heart. I needed it. I have been receiving and hearing sad news and it accumulated heaviness in my heart.

I will leave this all in here right now, thanks for staying with me. Keep safe.