The Asshole’s Ten Demandments

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3 years ago

hey there, this article isn't made to make you an assh*le or anything,and the content is debatable. However, I just thought to write about it for change and it's from a basic book called Assh*leology, It's a fun read. Now let's start the list

I. The asshole cares about the asshole the most.

Life isn’t always fair. It’s occasionally cruel. And an asshole learns that eventually other people will disappoint. They don’t mean to, but it’s part of human nature. It’s because of this fact that the asshole must think of himself first. The asshole is always the most important person in any situation. With every decision and opportunity the asshole asks internally, “How does this benefit me?” “What do I stand to gain?” and “How can I make the most of this situation?” The phrase “What’s in it for me?” was likely coined by an asshole.

II. The asshole is always right.

Most people think they are right. The asshole knows he is right. Every time. He will go to extremes to prove his point. Even when the debate seems to be coming to an end, and in the favor of the other person, the asshole will not let it go until he is proven correct. Even when all facts prove the asshole wrong, in the asshole’s mind, he is still 100-percent correct. An eventual surrender from the other side will also suffice.

III. The asshole rarely apologizes.

“Sorry” isn’t a part of the asshole’s vocabulary. Sure he has used it on a few occasions—like when he accidentally bumped into someone on the subway or when he was found out for sleeping with all the women in his friend’s family— but even in those moments he really doesn’t mean he is regretful. He means, “Sorry you weren’t lucky enough to rub against me longer” or “Sorry your family genes couldn’t produce more women for me to bed.” There is never anything to be sorry about if the asshole is never wrong.

IV. The asshole never accepts the word “no.”

While an asshole never uses the word “sorry,” neither does he accept the word “no.” No doesn’t exist in the world of the asshole. It’s just yes: Yes to his wishes. Yes to his demands. Yes to his place for drinks after dinner. If he does hear the word no, he turns it into yes. (The only exception: When a particular no really does mean no. That situation shouldn’t have to be explained.)

V. The asshole is always in control.

The asshole is in complete command in every situation—in the boardroom, the bar room, and the bedroom. He steps up to take charge and doesn’t look for help unless absolutely necessary. The asshole stays cool, calm, and collected.

VI. The asshole always has a plan.

The asshole didn’t get to the top based solely on luck and clichés. The asshole always has short-term and long-term goals, and he plots the exact steps required to reach those goals. He is methodical in his approach. If things don’t go according to plan (usually the fault of others), the asshole always has a Plan B.

VII. The asshole takes what he wants.

The asshole never asks, he takes. The people who ask never get exactly what they want. The asshole always gets what he wants—the nicer office, the bigger slice of cake, the best out of life.

VIII. The asshole always looks good.

There are no occasions when an asshole isn’t on his game, in public or in private. The asshole always looks his best. Clothes are the extension of the man. Therefore, the asshole is always spot on. He doesn’t have to be a trendsetter, but the asshole is never out of style.

IX. The asshole learns from his (few) mistakes.

An asshole would never be pompous enough to claim perfection— no man is perfect. He does learn from the mistakes he makes in life, though. And he never makes the same mistake twice. The asshole’s motto: Trick me once, shame on you. Trick me twice? Won’t happen. You’re lucky you tricked me once.

X. The asshole is always evolving.

The asshole never stops learning, growing, expanding, or experiencing everything life has to offer. When a person stops evolving, they start dying. An asshole will live forever. (Well, at least longer than you.) Learn these Demandments. Memorize them. Print them on a piece of paper and carry them around in your pocket. If a situation arises where you just don’t know what to do or what the next course of action is, refer to the Demandments. They hold all the answers.

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Congratulations. Your article is great and you are the winner of my giveaway that's why I upvote your article. Thank you 😊

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Thanks mark ^^

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