BREAKDOWN:a condition in which you are unable to control thoughts or feelings that prevent you from living and working as you usually do (Cambridge Dictionary)In short, something that drives me crazy!
I want to share with you my biggest series of breakdown in the past and the glorious breakdown i experienced which changed my direction
2013, the strongest typhoon hit us leaving numerous corpse along the streets and many other damages it caused. We're so hopeless and helpless that time. Didn't know what to do and where to go!
2014, Persecution hit me! my parents evicted me from the house. They don't like me to be a Born again Christian and wanted me to join them in their religion. I was alone with no house and money.
2015, I thought God was angry with me for letting me stay in a boarding house full of bad spirits. Earlier part of that year, i almost committed suicide. I felt like I was useless and no loves me. I thought all the bad things happened to me were all because of God's anger towards me. This thought was my worst breakdown.
September 2015, i experienced my glorious breakdown that changed my entire life. While being depressed of the thought that no one loves me, my friend lend me a book entitled "DESTINED TO REIGN" by Joseph Prince. After my work, i read the book right away. While reading, my tears rolled over my face and found myself crying so hard! I finished the book reading the whole night and there's only one though that my mind was filled: God is not angry with me! In spite of what happened, one thing is for sure: God is not angry. He has always been with me and for me.
My breakdown becomes glorious when it leads me to JESUS. When it trains me to become more dependent on Him.