On many occasions, we do not know how to say no and we succumb to a request; it is difficult to refuse, because if we do we feel selfish and we are afraid that the other person will be displeased, criticize us and give us aside, but sometimes you have to know how to say no to gain the respect of oneself and those around us.
It is important to understand that the ability to say no is closely related to self-esteem, so people who have low self-esteem and low self-confidence, feel nervous about others and tend to accept requests.
Perhaps it is because of the education offered based on being obedient and helpful, so your self-esteem may have come to depend on the things you do for other people. It's a vicious cycle in which the people around you expect you to always fulfill their wishes.
Being unable to say no can cause you to appear stressed, irritable and lacking in energy, so you need to assess the situation twice before agreeing.
Saying no to orders, suggestions and manifestations that go against our own interests is essential in order not to be subjugated by others.
One must know how to maintain one's autonomy and be assertive. That is to say, to have the ability to express our opinions and attitudes in a way that expresses our interests, but without hurting others.
TIPS FOR SAYING NO
- Use simple answers, in a firm and direct way; remember that you are not asking permission to say no. Don't make excuses and give your reasons for not accepting.
- Think about your free time, and after you have done so, be able to say no with greater confidence.
- Don't compromise if you can't, only do it if you agree with the request, or feel able to do it; you can suggest other alternatives, but in no case compromise if you can't. Always remember that the refusal is independent of the refusal.
- Always remember that refusal is independent of rejection; if you refuse the request, it does not mean that you are refusing a person. There is as much right to say no as there is to ask for the favor.
- Don't feel guilty about saying no to your children, because they need to hear that answer from time to time so that they develop a sense of self-control and boundaries can be set.
- Be true to yourself about what you really want.
Keep in mind that expressing your own desires comes first; if you always try to please everyone, you leave a door open for people to take advantage of you, although sometimes you may have to make concessions and accept that it's okay.