When you're in the depths of your despair:make it count

Being joyful is difficult. There's a lot of pressure to be the happiest version of yourself and reach, what the internet calls, our highest selves, but how do we achieve that, really? And should we beat ourselves up for not being able to feel likr we're ever going to get to that point?

It's a privilege to be happy all the time. Not all of us are equipped with the appropriate resources that could fulfill us, it's a privilege, one might say, to genuinely feel satisfied all your life,to not worry about making ends meet, having enough for rent, or cover your tuition fees. It's a privilege if you have access to therapy, it's a privilege to have understanding parents and companions who can comprehend the fact that your brain is not built the same as other people, people who are bright and don't contemplate the usefulness of their existence everyday.

But from pain stems art. A seed is planted everytime you feel like you've reached rock bottom. Reader, whoever you might be, i am wholeheartedly telling you to live out your pain, fully and proudly. Listen to your sad music and cry and sleep till noon and overeat. Lay in your bed all day and isolate yourself from the world. Learn to be by yourself through these times, because you will get through it. Even if in a lifetime of sadness you only get one day of happiness, consider it an achievement. Nothing lasts forever and reader, i know you know they don't. To find something everlasting is impossible; your sadness is indeed evanescent. But it is also beautiful, and deep, worthy of love.

Reader, learn to love your pain, and more importantly, learn to love the version of yourself that hurts. The version of yourself that hasn't showered in a week, the version of yourself that wears the same shirt everyday for a month, the version of yourself with a heart that's been teared apart. Write about your pain, paint your feelings, dance it out. When you're in the depths of your despair, let it flow.