Agony and Ecstasy of Life...

Things began to flood my lungs with salt water , upon diving on my own ocean of all the things I have been into.

As I am heading towards the other side of the street somebody confronted me out of nowhere uttered these words "you seem very happy, yet I feel loneliness is bothering you”, out of my surprised I don't know what to act and how to feel ,I just smiled and replied. "Why do you say so I am happy, see I’m even laughing now.

It's funny how he slapped me with those words."You can laugh and smile all you want, but it won't change a thing. "Your eyes speak for oneself; there's no need to cover it up," he added, running straight towards the approaching vehicle. He pleads goodbye and leave me hanging with a sad eye and a confused mind. But it moved me, and I began to wonder. What went wrong, and why am I unhappy? or I just don't feel like I belong in this world.

There were moments I don’t ever mentioned about my loneliness and how I mourned about things. How sadness visits me in a crowded places full of happy human beings.

I lied when I say that I’m fine where in fact there are days in my life , even if just simple things exhaust my strength.

“She’s barely hanging on, grabbing whatever she can to keep it together for another day. She doesn't think about next week or next month; she only thinks about today. That's what she keeps telling herself. That's how she's made it this far. “

Sometimes you're just tired of things and you just want to put on a happy face to get through the day. Its addicting how you just want to be just with yourself numbing everything , until you feel nothing at all.

Familiar with the term , Fake it untill you make it? Sometimes it helps a lot. Faking your smile, faking your happiness, it all seems so hard until it’s done. And all of that was just the other side of life because we aren’t always well. And it is totally fine to be not okay at times, as we are only human.

"You seem very happy, yet I feel loneliness is bothering you”, as I kept walking and these phrases were still running inside my head, I just realized that truly, I am lonely but not totally alone. As I walked into our dormitory, I can hear my friends bursting into laughter as they watched a movie.

And suddenly I realize, " yeah, sometimes I breakdown, I become weary, I become lonely, but I do have friends, I have my family, I am not alone in this fight.

Often we overlook those people who are there for us to help , quite often we simply hide all the emotions that we had, once we become tired, we isolate ourselves, neglecting those people who are there to love us, those people that are willing to listen with our endless drama in life, those people who are there for us. There are those who more than willing to share a piece of their hearts. Sometimes we measure happiness by what makes us comfortable, by the materials things that sometimes fail us, not realising that there is more to that.

My point in writing this is that, yes, we have moments in life when we feel like we are all alone fighting our own problem , we feel sad at some point , we carry extra baggages on our own, we tend to hide sadness, we feel lonely, but we should also remember that when we feel like the world is falling apart and there's no one to help, let's not forget that we have people in our lives who love and care for us, we just need to let them in, we need to open up ourselves. We have them , our friends and our loved ones. ♥️

It's okay not to be okay, but it's even more fine not to carry the entire world on our back and not let anyone recognize it.

Happiness is all around you; all you have to do is allow yourself to experience it.

To whoever might see this. 😊 Thank you for reading . I hope everything is well with you despite the circumstances you are facing. 🤍 All is well !