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In tune (reflection)

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Written by   11
1 year ago

Sharing with others is… A curious thing.

Normally people assume that human interaction is based only on the exchange of information; which is, if not incorrect, at least very limited to the superficial aspect of communication, ignoring (or perhaps denying) the emotional aspect   of said interaction, what I like to call  "Tuning" .

"Tuning"  is nothing more than a  "romantic" way  of calling that almost instantaneous connection that occurs between people who interact, a primordial instinct by which the participants in the communication are devoid of any feeling of oppression, prejudice and / or fear of misunderstanding on the part of others, since such misunderstanding  "Does Not Exist" . It is the  "We have so much in common"  but applied on the fly, even before the information is fully disclosed.

Many may assume that this connection only occurs at an intellectual level: people who know about the same topics; It is true that shared knowledge helps the effective transmission of information, knowledge is one of the pillars of empathy, however it is not, as my grandmother would say, its  "  mainstay " or the central pillar. If so, effective communication between two people with different  intellectual "levels" would be impossible  : a teacher, for example, could not impart his knowledge to his students. There are frequent cases of young people who interact effectively with the elderly, also of adults interacting with adolescents and children, etc. This possibility is the result, I deduce, of the  tuning.

But this  attunement  is not the product of some supernatural magical force. It is, like everything concerning humans, an  "intuitive effort" , almost involuntary,  "an effort without effort" , like the beating of the heart.

The main characteristics of this  attunement  are  RespectOpenness  and, as has already been said before,  Knowledge . The latter being the  "simplest"  to achieve due to its purely intellectual nature (it only needs research), it is not surprising that it has become the default way of interacting with others. The first two, however, require not only information, but also  commitment  from all participants to be carried out successfully.

We have  Respect , a consequence of  Otherness , of perceiving the other and seeing these others as we see ourselves, as  Equals . Solidarity  and  Altruism are  born  from  Respect , one does for others what one would do for oneself; in the same way, all aggression and injury to others is rejected, in the same way that they would be rejected towards oneself. the  Respect It also brings with it not underestimating or overestimating any person: that person who respects knows that others have mental capacities equivalent to those of one, if one understands it, the other will also, eventually; In turn, whoever respects others respects himself, in the first instance, does not belittle or belittle others, so he does not fall into the bias that someone with an intellectual level, say,  "Superior"  is from somehow  "Unattainable" . The  Respect  is what promotes  equity  among people and helping their effective interaction.

For its part,  Openness  is a consequence and reinforcement of  Respect . It is a continuous mental and even spiritual state in which the person is not only willing to receive ideas, but also to give them. An open mind is an open ecosystem, where ideas, like different forms of life, pass from one medium to another and interact in harmony. A closed mind, where nothing enters and nothing leaves, creates an oppressive, hostile and sterile environment outside and inside, like a desert. A mind reluctant to  Opening leads to the strengthening of prejudices, because being unable to accept different ideas, different minds, cannot or does not want to interact with them, this causes the impossibility of creating a judgment consistent with experience, forcing the individual to make use of stereotypes and biased assumptions. If we add to all this a lack of knowledge, then we find ourselves with a mind prone to xenophobia, racism and fascism, incapable of being open with different people and in turn feeling respect for them.

One misconception is to see the  Opening  as a sign of fickleness, of a weak mind. In an open and well-formed mind, ideas are always subject to the criteria of the receiver or sender, as the case may be . An open-minded person has to be able to discern which ideas are harmful to himself and / or others, and therefore should be rejected, and which are beneficial to be assimilated and shared. It is a matter of consciousness, either when receiving or when emitting ideas.

"(…) What matters is your  Consciousness .
It is not important to dress,
but to distinguish thoroughly
Those who are eating gods
AND defecating demons."

-Ali First.

The  opening  is also a question of trust: the respect to your peers also trust them, so  "you know"  and that any idea beforehand that they will share will have some value to you and will never be harmful; at the same time, you trust that your peers will accept the ideas that you will share and that they will not misinterpret them or take them as an insult to their person. This is beneficial for communication, as it undoes the fear of possible censorship and exalts freedom of expression among people.

Respect, Openness and Knowledge , these three factors are, in my opinion, the key for an effective interaction and for the  Tuning  to take place ... However, reality is not always so simple. ...

This, our world, is a vast one, and just as there are people with a deep respect for themselves and for others, there are those who despise others and do not see them as equals or they despise themselves and withdraw. Just as there are those who have an almost immeasurable mental openness, there are those who have a mind narrower than the eye of a needle. Just as there are those who understand what you want to say, laugh at your memes and / or share your opinion, there are those who will not understand, they may even take what you said as offensive and create a  "straw man"  of your ideas. Just as there are those who respond to your greeting with the same enthusiasm and candor as you, there are those who will roll their eyes, look away with contempt or respond in the most unpleasant way possible ...

But, what could we do? We are human beings, imperfect by nature, but capable of learning and growing, so it is worth trying.

Just as you need to change several channels on the TV to get to the right one, just as you have to adjust the radio to find the desired frequency, the  "Tuning"  is a search, however it is a search without a fixed objective, let's say  "you search without searching " . Being " in  tune"  with others is the same as walking and accidentally finding a gold nugget on the ground. You did not expect it, much less it was what you were looking for, but you accept and appreciate it.

Speaking, writing, communicating in general, does not require an effort beyond that of the action itself, and its purpose should not be other than that of communicating itself. There will always be a receiver who gets the message and consequently delivers your message back, simple as that. Honest feedback, that which is born not from mere courtesy but from the frank intention to interact, is the simplest and purest sample of  "Attunement"  between humans. It is necessary to speak to be heard and to listen to be receptive to those who speak to you back, communication is a Multidirectional phenomenon  . If you want to be heard, just talk, if they don't hear you, talk more, if they insult you, you keep talking,  that insults are not daggers to be afraid of. Worrying about each person who has not understood you is as if Thomas Edison has only focused all the bulbs that did not work, forgetting about the one that finally did work.

Sharing with others is a curious thing , something more in common with a lottery than with anything else, but it is pleasant to dream of winning, and it is even more so to do so, so it is worth taking the risk, it is worth it. shame trying to  share .

If you have come this far, thank you very much for having read. If we are in  "Tuning" , please let me know with your vote and do not hesitate to share it if you liked it.

I wish you happy days and  God Bless you.

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