My Daily Blog: One lazy Saturday

I collected the laundry from all over our place. I am ashamed really that I don’t do fixing things up promptly. So I get a t-shirt from that corner then another across it and so on. There are laundries on the monoblock that is placed near the door. There are clothes that Denisse put under my table. She makes fun of everything. So since I’m busy doing my stuff, I rarely do things promptly with regards to the laundry. I put the clothes on a basin, big enough to accommodate around 50 clothes. I placed the basin below the faucet then opened the water gate. I then left it for a while. I came inside to write first before continuing.

I will go back to it after writing this. But while writing, there is another task that I can do. I can cook our brunch viand which is ‘tinapa’. Tinapa is a smoked fish that is delicious and voracious in rice. I say so because the one eating tinapa will tend to have more servings of rice than usual.

This is such a lazy Saturday. At least for me. I attribute my laziness to the fact that I am on my first days of my period. I am just grateful that my depressive thoughts did not persist prior to my period. I usually have unusual emotional experiences which greatly affect my family. Even if I always explain to my husband and my children that they should expect this kind of thing from me at least once a month, it is always an unpleasant exposure for them when the mood strikes.

What I am most grateful is the fact that I was able to channel all my negative energies thru praying. The act significantly delivered me from whatever trespasses I may have committed if I wasn’t able to control my emotional strife.

I learned to never to force myself to do some activities that I really don’t feel like doing just before and during my period. Right after that period anyway, I will become diligent and I would do house chores like there is no tomorrow. You feel me on that, ladies?

During those times when I was lost, my premenstrual syndrome would make me blow up all the ugly things I’ve accumulated in my system to my husband. It would always mean a restless day for the children. Even one week depending on my cycle. I hated those times. But those would always be my remembrance to see to it that I will not be duplicating such incidents. Faith will keep us from harm.

My boys are still out of the city since they are at the province and I am not sure when they will be coming. To make it a good reunion when they come home, I will see to it that I have cleaned up beforehand. I will start with the usual chores like washing laundries, washing dishes, wiping the surroundings of the burner, brushing the sink, sweeping, folding clothes, and of course, cleaning my working area in the house. My husband always remark that my writing place is very untidy and that I have no plan fixing it. I would like to retort to him that indeed I had no plan so if he like, he will have to be the one to clean it. I am just retorting inside my brain of course. No way will I be spilling that out loud because it would mean a very big deal for him. He is strict. Sometimes I hate it but of course, I know my responsibilities so it’s best to simply submit to him. Besides, that is what our church is teaching us. “Submit to your husbands…”

After the basic chores, I will see if I could include tending to our little soil outside. But that would be near impossible. But who knows?

I stopped resenting the neighbors who seemed to be diligent in keeping their houses but I thought I should not be comparing myself to them. Why should we compare anyway. We have different circumstances to begin with. They are fulltime home keepers so it is understandable that they should be doing their best inside their houses. Me on the other hand should also do my best with my job and at least be able to do the minimum for the house. Being idealistic at this point will only mean more frustrations. I will save my idealistic self when the kids grow up.

But then, I still wanted the idea that I will become a fulltime writer someday. Let’s see what will happen. I will skip the ambitious part because I still have a huge amount of debt that I will have to pay off before considering quitting my day time job. If only it is easy going around telling everyone that they will rescue me from interest… But then I will keep the faith that someday I will be able to breakthrough. Just proper decisions and problem solving skills.

To halt the train of thoughts I will end here and come write again this afternoon. We were invited to go have a lunch somewhere and I am not sure if I will have the time to write this afternoon. It depends. Maybe.