It's better when I was still starting. Was it?

Back when I was still starting, just a little something on my mind would prompt me to start typing. I would talk painstakingly about something despite my real struggle to put words and phrases together, and I was so into blogging. I would often talk about my love for writing. And I would share whatever I have composed with select people. I would send my blog link to Facebook and other social media but I would change my mind every so often, I'd delete the link I have posted, and simply save my works on my device and clear my blog site or change my domain name. It was costly and I was always experimenting but what I wanted back then was my passion for writing. I was so on fire I could have been burned.

Looking back, my desire now is nothing compared to how I was back then. And I realized that perhaps, the lack of restriction now is what is causing me to relax to the point I don't regularly write. Some sort of reverse psychology.

I have always believed that there are infinitely many topics but let me now yield that we have to have the heart before we are able to write. Losing the heart to write will cause us sto stop forever. Like two lovers who suddenly stops communicating, and the love is left forever in the past.

But let me assure myself that my circumstance may just really be restricting me despite the psychological improvement of things. Let me explain. Back then, my blogging was not supported by some family members. Now they wanted me blogging. But now, there is an added responsibilty in my life. I have always shared before my stories about my kids. So you may already know I have three kids. I am a teacher, a wife, and also a student. It was still manageable before. But now... Now that my youngest child is growing older, I noticed the gradual changes. I could no longer own most of my time and it's either devoted to raising the kids or fulfulling the other responsibilities.

I don't know now what has happened to all those things I told myself but I now need to accept my situation. In accepting we will do better. Who knows, now that I have acknowledged my real situation, I can again owl myself at night and blog blog blog!!! How wonderful that would be!

Life is really a mix of all the spices we could combine for it to be flavorful. I love my life. I love my circumstance. I love my struggles. Most of all, I have Him.