A while ago I must tell you I went the wrong way then went home with two boxes of groceries. I was wandering the streets of the summer capital. I wasn’t sure where I should be going. I will go home, yes. I was nearing the overpass and just a few walks will bring me to the lane bound for the terminal of the public vehicle I will be riding going home. I accidentally went the other way at the overpass. Left side if I am not mistaken. Then I went inside the grocery, ordered a box of cake for tomorrow’s consumption then bought macaroni salad, mayonnaise, creamer, condensed milk, cheese, spaghetti pasta, spaghetti sauce, fruit cocktail, coffee mate, great taste white caramel, ground pork, and paper plates.
I rode a taxi going home. Then I remembered I forgot nata de coco and kaong. Kaong and nata de coco were out of my remembrance. It was an unplanned grocery shopping that’s why. It is understandable. I went around to see if the sari sari store of our place sells such and I was lucky with one nata de coco colored white.
What’s the fuss anyway? For what occasion I was buying those? Maybe, birthday. Yes, correct. Tomorrow is my Denisse’s birthday and for whatever reason, I just went the wrong way a while ago. I was extremely indecisive a while ago and I just let my subconscious work. I know right then, it wasn’t subconscious or wrong way that I went. I just knew I was very thankful that I still have my daughter with me.
Come to think of it, birthdays are only once in a year celebration. And as a form of celebration, I do want to do it with food. At least those that are seen as symbol for birthdays and other special occasions. I thought why should I be stingy for my daughter’s birthday. I am not stingy, I defended myself from me. I was just considering our economic capacity. What economic capacity are your referring to, stingy? Teased the other self. Enough! I told them. Keep quiet. Don’t disturb me.
And so now, here at home we have what we will prepare for the birthday of my only daughter. I warned her older brother not to go around inviting. I want just a simple celebration. Just the immediate neighbors would do. Just as a symbol that I am indeed very grateful that my daughter lived another year. May she grow in love and peace?
Lately, my daughter is very colicky but at the same time very cure. I was browsing thru the pics we took last year and I could cry looking at her pictures. What a feeling a mother feels every moment of her life. The mere sight of my children melts my heart. No matter how complainant I become when they whine, I can’t hide the fact that I find them very very dear every second in my life.
I could now understand all the sentiments that parents before me remarked. How true how true. And how playful it is to become a parent. Our hearts are being tossed into the fire and washed and drained and spun to dry. Only to become new again for our children.
I used to complain about my other siblings to my father and mother. I see a mixture in their reaction. They’re like pleading for me to not utter such things. They were not very big deal actually but for the parents they were big deals. What the parents want would be the unity among their children. If at all possible. Same with my children, it breaks my heart to see them fighting. I know it’s part of their being children but it breaks my heart still.
There will be times when things get ugly but at the end of each storm will be calm. I should then always tame the tongue not to say something hurtful. At least to my precious gifts. I speak differently when it come to my children. They’re very dear no matter how silly and demanding they become. No wonder they like to cling to me when the night comes. I still have a hard time going about how they whine and cry in the middle of the night. The younger two, Davies and Denisse. Their older brother Dexter was a very happy baby back then. I didn’t have much problem with his whines. My greatest challenge before was when he was sick. But when it comes to crying in the night, my boy Dexter has been my happy baby. He made mama beautiful back then despite the early marriage and seemingly presence of many absurd things. Ah, ‘nough said.
On another note, I hate it that I have to cook spaghetti tomorrow. I hate it that I have to prepare salad. I hate it that I have to be the host for the event. I hate it that I have to celebrate some occasions when I should just be writing. I hate it. at the same time I love it so so much!!! We’ll get to eat something. We’ll get to laugh with the neighbors. We’ll get to play and have fun. We’ll get to gather and pray before the meal. What could be sweeter than that? Bitter sweet? Or very sweet? Or sour sweet? I prefer something which is a little sour. But should also be with salt, and also sweet. The seasoned one, let us just say.
Tomorrow will be the 2nd birthday of my daughter. I didn’t go the wrong way this afternoon. I just wanted to celebrate her birthday and so I bought necessary stuffs for her birthday. Whew! Let’s now sleep.
By the way, I am very excited for the writing prompt I received from @Ellehcim . The prompt was started by @JonicaBradley .
Be writing about freedom by Saturday. Maybe. Let's see...
Good night! Till next time, Lincs.
