Going to the fields

There are just some days (like today) when I would get very emotional. Nostalgia keeps coming around. I just can’t go home (to the province). I have a lot of responsibilities here (in the city) that going home would mean sacrificing a lot. I can’t afford substitutions. I can’t afford just yet sacrifices. I should have more patience to let this pass. Till I will be able to visit my hometown again.

Meanwhile I keep going back to the memories we’ve had in the fields back home. How I wish I would be able to breathe the air there right now! Fresh! Fragrant! Green surroundings! With sounds from different animals, mostly insects… but also feeling constant fear just in case a snake would appear out of nowhere. I keep my prayers with me when we go to the fields. I have to, so I could enjoy the good feelings.

Even though I would discreetly wish that if only I didn’t have to go to the fields. The lazy part of me is killing all the joys. But at the same time I also feel very excited venturing. Unlike other kids who really have to take things seriously, us, my siblings and I seem to go there for leisure instead. We don’t go there regularly. Sometimes, we would only stay for the first half of the day. So that expectant neighbor kids would get amused when we go home sooner than the afternoon. But at least, we went, and that is what matters. Our parents’ purpose for taking us there is for us to experience the life of farmers. No one knows. Someday we might be thanking them for teaching us life. Thinking back, I should’ve enjoyed more. So I won’t be having these sighs and if-only’s.

Sometimes, I would just close my eyes and imagine that I was there, out in the fields… taking the weeds out that would contend with our plants with our crops. Beans, peanuts, camote, and many more. I am not fond of planting but I love removing the weeds. There was some sort of fulfillment when I was able to clean an area. I would feel proud. My father taught us well how to do the job. I would get tanned and sunburnt because I was not the type to be put on any protective something over my body. I was mindless and careless sometimes when it came to protecting my skin. I didn’t care. I thought that I was beautiful no matter what.

The best part when going to the fields would be the lunch time. Whatever was there for viand would be very delicious. The appetite you have when you’re eating at the fields will be very different as to your appetite at home. We usually have dried fish during lunch. Can you imagine? Eating out into the open. Securing everything so nothing would go to waste because it’s like survival in there. Limited rice, limited viand. And the water, we should never forget bringing some. If not, we have to go and look for water source where we could get water. Sometimes, we would go to faraway places just to replenish our water supply.

Fight among us siblings would also arise when someone was slacking off. Everybody should be doing something or everybody should be resting. Or it was okay for one to still work during rest time as long as when work time arrives, no one slacked off. But at the end of the day, we would have full hearts no matter how battered we looked. There were times we got sick because of the sun. It would become our reason not to go there anymore. Our parents would reluctantly let us off.

Trips to the fields were done during summer vacations and during Saturdays. My mother was an elementary teacher while my father was a janitor. But they both loved the fields and they wanted us to know something before, according to them, they will depart from this world. They are now both retired from their jobs and they are full time farmers. They inherited humble pieces of lands and it is our pride that they’ve shown us something good in life. My family now was given rice field and it would be the source of our rice when harvest comes. It is currently being farmed by my parents-in-law. Hoping someday I will know how to manage business over there while doing well with our lives here.

More than ten years ago, I ran away from the remaining tasks just so I could go home. Things turned against me. They said I had no commitment. I learned my lesson. So now, I’m grateful I have something to go back to when I get very nostalgic.

Lead image from Unsplash