Coffee? Not.

I was looking everywhere for coins. Inside my bag, on the coin plate, on the shelves. I should be able to come up with 13 pesos. That is approximately 27 cents. Because my favorite twin pack coffee is worth 13 pesos. Without it, I feel incomplete.

Or maybe, I was just saying that.

I was trying to be more rational with myself. I already had coffee this morning. Twice. I don’t need to drink coffee yet again. I told myself, let me just try not taking coffee. I took hot water instead. I have heard benefits of drinking hot or warm water and if it will be beneficial to me, then it will be worth the experience. And also I will have saved 13 pesos.

My son was the one who suggested that I will not drink coffee this time. They are sometimes bothered that I take instant coffee more that I need to, even until six times a day, considering that my coffee is instant coffee, not the brewed one. What if you’ll get diabetes? They ask me. I could not answer because I know how sweet my favorite coffee is. Not the brewed or pure coffee but the one with a lot of whatever they call those.

I’ve tried having warm water therapy before and it did wonders to my bowel movements. Also, I have felt a lot of toxins leaving my body.

But days passed and I was back again to my old habits. But now I will try again to break away from old habits. Drinking coffee whenever I wanted to. For a change, I will curb it. Besides, I need every penny I could save in order to break through this financial crisis.

At least now I don’t eat junk foods that frequently anymore. Maybe when someone beside me is eating, that is the only time I will take some and eat. I also don’t eat bread regularly anymore. I could do well with rice and nice viand. Bread is taken once in a while but not so much anymore.

I know that tomorrow, I will again be tempted with coffee but I will try my best to take it sparingly. It’s for the best. If not, I plan to switch with brewed coffee. I tried having pure brewed without sugar and creamer and it’s still okay. The aroma will always be there.

But upon the introduction of instant coffee, there is something there that is always inviting me. But I will say no for now.

I think the longest time that I was not taking coffee was when I was pregnant with my first son. I continued to abstain from it until he was weaned. With my succeeding pregnancies, I took coffee like I usually do. I’m not sure but perhaps it had effect on my younger children. Their eldest don’t cry at night when he was a baby. While the other two would keep me awake all night sometimes. I am beginning to conclude that it had something to do with my taking coffee when I was pregnant and nursing the younger two. I’m not sure since these are just my observations but I guess that it had some effect.

This is how stubborn some people really are. I think I’ve been a fool. They were telling us not to have coffee while pregnant. But I still took coffee. Even a lot. I admit I’ve been guilty about that. I meant no harm to my babies but my psychological make-up before wouldn’t allow me to quit coffee.

I searched about it on the internet but it seems that there is no conclusive statement about coffee during pregnancy.

If I were to get pregnant again, I would opt not have coffee. There may be no conclusive statements about such but as they always say, it’s better to err on the side of caution. That was my mistake because I took the risk even though it wasn’t safe.

I’m thankful that apart from the colicky younger kids, I don’t see any other problems with them despite my taking coffee when they were inside me.

Another good thing for not drinking coffee this time of the day is so I could sleep well later. At least I was done with my graduate school assignment a while ago so I could relax tonight. Well, there is still that other one but I could do it on Monday. Hoping the professor will still consider it. There is no indicated deadline but I bet that he is assuming that we know our deadline.