After turning in the last…

It was dawn when I finally turned in the last set of requirements. Actually, what we gave to our professor was just the link to the folder, where we uploaded our files.

Funny how I am yet again very much ready to enroll for another term.

The thing is, I always feel fresh at the start then when pressure and everything loads me up I feel like resigning from everything.

As if I have forgotten all my rants and woes during this semester because here I am, wanting to enroll immediately for the next semester.

So I felt a little annoyed with myself. Will you please keep it down? As if!

I am scolding myself because it was just few months ago when I felt resigning from all my tasks. Because of the pressure plus the added responsibilities of being a mother and wife.

For sure, it will not be long before I will be ranting and complaining again because of the many requirements and tasks.

So yes, I will try to keep it down and just relax while it is my very very short vacation. In a few days, we will again resume our teacher tasks. We will be migrating to a new, but not totally new, learning management system (LMS) and that would be an added work, exploring and all.

Actually, I just cried a while ago. Just a habit I still have not grown out of. It always made me feel more humane.

There was a time when my hubby commented I’ve been cold and very different. Then I realized I have stopped my crying exercises. So yes, a while ago I incited some crying session.

I passed on writing this morning. First, I slept so late. Second, I am celebrating my triumph for finally submitting my last assignments. Third, I felt I needed some music.

At around noon, I allowed myself some sleep. I slept with my children during their nap time. Upon waking up I searched some songs on YouTube then I sang along with the songs. Moana soundtrack, other Disney songs, The Judds, then the song, “Just an Illusion,” which I repeated for so many times until I mastered the lyrics.

I imagined holding a microphone to level up the drama. I didn’t care if people heard me sing. At the very least I am not out of tune. Though I don’t have a lot of vibrations.

Singing has never been this good for me. Maybe because of the timing… It’s vacation, as a student and teacher.

Then I experimented if my singing was good enough for someone to listen to it. I turned to my daughter then sang her a song. She kept saying, “Kayat ko pay!” (She wants more.)

I kept singing… Even when we were just about to eat. I am glad no one teased me at all. No one also commented about my voice.

I searched the lyrics while I played songs on YouTube.

It was near midnight when I stopped. When I deemed it’s time for some side hustle, I put my baby to sleep.

Reality strikes again. I have to write. Write I must… Otherwise… But if there is a good side to writing, that would be being able to humbly share how your day went. Even better, I can just do free writing.

I am not sure when I will be able to sit for some poetry again but I was thinking about it a while ago. But thought better to try it again another time.

I checked some of my grades and one was already posted. It’s a little bit low. As compared to my other previous grades but it was because our professor gave me a score of zero out of 100 for the first meeting. That meeting I unintentionally missed but it was my fault whatever my excuse maybe. How could I forget my class?

But again I am trying to not be very grade conscious. I asked myself if I truly deserved a high grade but my answer was, NOT YET.

And it reminds me to start studying again. What I mean is, to really start reading lessons again. Because if I am not mistaken, I have not studied much in the past months. True that I am currently taking up a graduate program but I simply did not study much. Understandable because of my current circumstance but at some point, I just knew I had to dig deeper.

But before continuing, I would just like to return all the glory to Him…